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Currently Browsing: Keeping House and Mind Aligned

What Do You Do All Day Mommy?

Fiona says she thinks I need to go and get a job. That way she can get to go to daycare after school and play with her friends longer. I told her I had a job. What do you do all day Mommy? I write and do all those things that take care of my family and keep the house in order. Yeah, that’s not a job.

This isn’t just words from a child’s mouth, I know many a male has wondered what we do with all of our “spare” time at home. Truth is that unless you’re a home keeper-upper, you have no idea the massive myriad of details there are to be taken care of. And I wouldn’t begin to defend myself with the details because my priorities may not be yours.What Do You Do All Day Mommy on Shalavee.com

What I can say is that keeping your family in 21 meals a week and clean clothing is a herculean undertaking itself. Add on the upkeep of a large nasty old house and grounds and your plate overflows. A dose of social and healthful obligations and then try to stick in time at your creative discipline and the cup runneth over.What Do You Do All Day Mommy on Shalavee.com

But I do do it. Plus balance the checkbook and pay the bills on time. Plus the cats’ upkeep. Plus the dental and doctors appointments… And we the women, the stay-at-home moms, could feel shame if we were to see ourselves as worthless through the eyes of the those who don’t understand our efforts.

And we will get no respect if we do not respect ourselves. And raise children without any self-respect too.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Mugged by Grief

My Sister was visiting recently and we were talking about lost earrings. How we end up with that single lonesome earring and we say, “ I can make a necklace out of it”. Except we don’t and we won’t and that earring just ends up sitting in that jewelry box waiting to mug us with bad energy when we open it up.

One of the methods that now famous house clearer Marie Kondo uses to make decisions on whether to keep an object or toss it is to ask if it brings you joy. I can tell you that when I see those single earrings laying in hiding for me, I just feel grief.

.Mugged by grief on Shalavee.com

So I decided that out of sight was out of mind and I plucked them out and tossed them. Alternately you could donate the bin of beads and single earrings to the local thrift store. Crafty people love that. The point is, getting rid of them saved me from repeating the negative emotions of the loss every time I saw the one remaining earring. Then there were the red vase shards I found while weeding the garden…

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Clearing Away the Clutter and Chaos

In the beginning of the year, I began the simplification and clearing out of my house yet again. A couple years back, I read Marie Kondo’s book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up . I adopted a few of her storing techniques but never went all through the house. In January,I start stripping my life of my past chaos and applying more of her techniques to embrace the magic.

I got new towels for Christmas so in January, I cleaned out my linen closet and the old ones went to the SPCA. The chaos of too much stuff is overwhelming. I begin to feel scattered and bad that I can’t find what I need. I’ve cleared closets, drawers, my craft room, Fiona’s toys, and the refrigerator.
I must say my inner Virgo is happy to see all that space.

So this weekend, under the auspices of continuing the renovation of our garage into a band practice space for our son, we cleared out the garage and basement. Our basement is unfinished and very dirty but we cleansed our souls of all our past endeavors and failures. I let go of everything which was like letting go of stories that no longer defined who I am.

Clearing Away the Clutter and Chaos on shalavee.com

Today we took the lot of it to a reuse it store. As they let us know several times they were being kind to take a lot of my stuff, I was feeling the grief around letting go. The few items that were more than “gently used”, I brought back home to await the next purge to the local thrift store opening this Friday. Yay a Goodwill in my town!

Letting go takes energy, both mental and physical. But once the decision is made it’s much easier. Can I use it right now? Does it serve me? Does it give me joy? Is it keeping from seeing the things that do serve me and give me joy? Mark refused to let go of the Coleman cooler that his family took on camping trips when he was. I have a tray of metal slide holders full of slides that I’m still sure will make a cool art installation, perhaps a mobile?

Sometimes we have to just wait for things to become obsolete before we can let them go. Sometimes we need to rend them from our spaces for our own good. But clutter has never proven to be good for mental clarity. And in fact, making decisions about our stuff in our lives actually increases our self-trust.

It’s Springtime, typically a time to clear, clean, and reassess our Feng Shui. I guarantee that if you are in need of a pick me up, decluttering is one of the first steps I would suggest to clear your mind and begin again.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Self Love Day

Valentine’s week is here. And I found myself considering what self-love meant to me. Undoubtedly we can not truly pay someone the attention and respect of love unselfishly if we do not have some to spare from our own hearts. But what does self-love look like at it’s best. And can we court or woo ourselves into liking us better?

Self-love is part care-taking and part self-compassion. It’s being a good parent and a gracious host.

I love myself when I eat good for me food I’m happy to eat and that’s yummy too.

I love myself when I spend time with my friends chatting and laughing.

I love myself when I go to the gym and get exercised.

I love myself when I listen to my aches and go to the doctor to check them out.

I love myself when I tell myself I can and I do.

I love myself when I pamper me with hairdos and pedicures and new slippers.

self love day on Shalavee.com

I love myself when I sit in front of the fire with my laptop and write.

I love myself when I choose to acknowledge something I’m good at rather than bad at.

I love myself when I figure out the tech to be able to listen to good music in the car.

I love myself when I commit to my creativity.

I love myself when I know I did a good job parenting today.

I love myself when I don’t overwhelm myself with too much to do.

I hope everyone has a Lovely Valentine’s day this week and that you shower yourself with intentional self-love too!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

How Do you Know the Wannas from the Shoulds ?

I am in the process of clearing and cleaning out my files and shelves in January. After my collapse of November, I decided that all goals and shoulds from last year are suspect. Because I truly got the sense that I was striving for much of that based on what I thought I should be doing.

But I couldn’t help but think, when do many of us have the opportunity or are encouraged to live for our own happiness? As women, we are programmed to take care of other’s happiness. As children of narcissists, we are not supposed to exist but for their needs. Our compliance to the rules of nice all but squelch who we truly are and we give up trying to figure it out.

So again, I am truly focusing on that which makes me happy. Being with my people and communicating with my community make me extremely happy. That’s my zone. Writing makes me happy. And creating and decorating always makes me happy. This much I know. How this gets spun into a purpose that I scream, “oh my gosh that’s exactly what I need to do!”, I am unsure. But I’m focused.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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