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What Do You Do All Day Mommy?

Fiona says she thinks I need to go and get a job. That way she can get to go to daycare after school and play with her friends longer. I told her I had a job. What do you do all day Mommy? I write and do all those things that take care of my family and keep the house in order. Yeah, that’s not a job.

This isn’t just words from a child’s mouth, I know many a male has wondered what we do with all of our “spare” time at home. Truth is that unless you’re a home keeper-upper, you have no idea the massive myriad of details there are to be taken care of. And I wouldn’t begin to defend myself with the details because my priorities may not be yours.What Do You Do All Day Mommy on Shalavee.com

What I can say is that keeping your family in 21 meals a week and clean clothing is a herculean undertaking itself. Add on the upkeep of a large nasty old house and grounds and your plate overflows. A dose of social and healthful obligations and then try to stick in time at your creative discipline and the cup runneth over.What Do You Do All Day Mommy on Shalavee.com

But I do do it. Plus balance the checkbook and pay the bills on time. Plus the cats’ upkeep. Plus the dental and doctors appointments… And we the women, the stay-at-home moms, could feel shame if we were to see ourselves as worthless through the eyes of the those who don’t understand our efforts.

And we will get no respect if we do not respect ourselves. And raise children without any self-respect too.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Do You Rage or Resign Yourself ?

Have you ever found yourself frustrated because you have a chore to do and you just don’t feel like doing it? It’s too hot to take the trash out. There’s dishes piled in the sink and it’s late. My feet are dirty and I’m too tired for a bath. There’s nothing to eat in the house but the thought of take out food turns your stomach?

When things smack of effort, we can feel resentful, angry even. We don’t feel like it. But what we are also inadvertently saying is that we aren’t worth the effort.

Life takes so much effort. Other than the automatic tasks our body maintains for us to live like breathing, everything else we do takes effort to achieve. We are perpetually choosing the next task. We are obtaining, feeding, needing, and achieving from the moment we wake until we pass out.

About a year ago or so, I realized that in order to respect myself, I needed to just get somethings done without thinking about my resentment of them. Because the more you stew and feel resentment about necessary chores, the harder life is. Sometimes you just need to let the chores be neutral and look forward to what’s beyond them.

A good friend said she thinks about what she’ll make for dinner while she’s in the exercise class. Focusing on anything that you can look forward to, or masterminding something to look forward to, can make the most mundane task feel easier and go more quickly.

My kids have chores that they need to do daily because that’s how our house runs smoothly and we get to focus on doing fun things together like playing Yatzee or watching movies. I want them to learn to get beyond the necessary and spend time imagining the possibilities. I want them to be able to respect the care that they take for themselves and their future families. And I have to lead by example.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

A Summer Morning Walk in Denton

Missed posting this morning bright and early because the Garden Party happened. I took a long walk as the weather had broken and other than the fact that my feet hurt, it was a glorious walk.

a summer morning walk in Denton on Shalavee.com
a summer morning walk in Denton on Shalavee.com
a summer morning walk in Denton on Shalavee.com
a summer morning walk in Denton on Shalavee.com

All the cottages in town looked proud and festive. The dappling of the Summer light through the trees was so enticing. And in the cacophony of cicada and cricket song from the trees to the meadow, I heard the lullaby of lazy days to come.

a summer morning walk in Denton on Shalavee.com
a summer morning walk in Denton on Shalavee.com
Crabapple tree
a summer morning walk in Denton on Shalavee.com

I owe you a garden and garden party post and now that I have time to do that, I’ll do that.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Let It Be

So many things I think I should be doing. I should have a spiritual practice. I should be exercising more. I should be publishing my brilliant writing in big magazines. But most of the time, I can’t accommodate all of my shoulds. And my day turns into cleaned bathrooms, walk taken, and dinner
made. Throw a holiday in there and I don additional job hats as a fat elf and an invisible bunny rabbit. There’s no such thing as regularity. Yet somehow I keep hoping it’s possible.

Yes I could use a wife. And here comes Summer time when I suddenly become Julie your cruise director organizing all you fun Summer Family happenings and packing and planning and scheduling. But I dare say, I love it in many ways and it won’t be like this always. So I think I’m gonna let it be.

At any given point, your life is what you think it is. If you keep thinking it’s bad, it’s bad. If your think it’s a messy blessing, than that’s exactly what it is.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Mugged by Grief

My Sister was visiting recently and we were talking about lost earrings. How we end up with that single lonesome earring and we say, “ I can make a necklace out of it”. Except we don’t and we won’t and that earring just ends up sitting in that jewelry box waiting to mug us with bad energy when we open it up.

One of the methods that now famous house clearer Marie Kondo uses to make decisions on whether to keep an object or toss it is to ask if it brings you joy. I can tell you that when I see those single earrings laying in hiding for me, I just feel grief.

.Mugged by grief on Shalavee.com

So I decided that out of sight was out of mind and I plucked them out and tossed them. Alternately you could donate the bin of beads and single earrings to the local thrift store. Crafty people love that. The point is, getting rid of them saved me from repeating the negative emotions of the loss every time I saw the one remaining earring. Then there were the red vase shards I found while weeding the garden…

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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