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Currently Browsing: Midlife Motherhood

Parenting Keeps Improving Me Despite Myself

There are days with these junior people that are trying as in, I’m trying not to be irritated or sarcastic because I’m tired and so are they apparently and nothing good can probably come of our interaction. Mornings when I can not wait until Fiona has gotten on the bus so I can sigh for the relief of no more drama to deal with. Nights when my son just won’t go to bed and leave me alone. Life is composed of day upon day and never is that more felt than in a parent’s life.

They ask you to rise with all the kindness and humanity you possess. All the humility, dignity, and patience you were sure you did not possess before you were a parent. Because a part of you gets born with them. A person who can no longer ignore your impact on the world’s footprint. A person who wants to model self-pride and self-acceptance. A better parent to yourself in the end and you know parenting is always do what I do, not just as I say.

Parenting Keeps Improving Me Despite Myself on Shalavee.com

You will also discover your limits and their limitless trust in the relationship you forge from the cosmic nothingness of childbirth. We can hope to give our children more than we had, make up for our childhoods with better ones for them.
But in the end, they love you no matter what you do with that forgiveness that you seldom afford yourself.

I am in awe and ever grateful for these gifts that keep on giving back to me, my children, the tall one and the small loud one. Eamon and Fiona are the most wonderful pieces of universal creativity I will ever have a hand in. And I am grateful on a daily basis for their ridiculous gift of my appreciation of my existence before they were here.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Motherhood is a Choice, Not Mandatory

Mother’s Day was a hoot this year. Mark made sure that my every need was overly taken care of. My children said they loved me every half hour and I got thee wishes plus one more fulfilled. Household tasks I would otherwise be blown off for asking were taken care of speedily like sorting through a pile of paperwork and reattaching my newel post. And I only went shopping and cooked a tenderloin and a pie. The rests of the meals were taken care of by my family.

Motherhood is a Choice, Not Mandatory on Shalavee.com

But I also understand that Mother’s Day is one of those holidays that not everyone celebrates. Especially if they themselves have chosen not to be a mother.

Jenny Brown, a woman I am friends with on Instagram, in response to conversations about her choice not to choose motherhood but instead chose to devote herself to her art, said this,

“To all of us who have been told that not having kids is “selfish,” who had strangers wish them a Happy Mother’s Day yesterday without even them even knowing if you have a child, and for those like me who chose not to have a child but instead nurture their art, please stand proud. And remember, being a mom is not a requirement of being a woman. When people ask me if I’m sad or feel like I “missed out,” in my heart I know those questions often come from the speaker’s own anxiety on missing out on opportunities, dreams, and travels they didn’t take. I’m so thankful I don’t feel that way about my life ❤️”.

first and 2nd week of the 2019 100 Day project on Shalavee.com
Day 15 of the 100 Day Challenge 2019

Motherhood is an option that not all women choose to follow through with. Just because you can doesn’t mean you must if it’s not right for you. While I feel for the many who would like to have kids and either can’t or are terrified to try, I also know that my creativity wouldn’t have been nourished as well as if I hadn’t had kids.

Motherhood is a Choice, Not Mandatory on Shalavee.com

Creative women often throw out their creative endeavors to keep their children “alive”. A double edged sword because, if you aren’t expressing your authenticity, you may be dying a slow death inside which the children will definitely pick up on and copy later in life. And what it takes to keep them actually alive becomes less and less about alive and more about “comfortable”, aka spoiling them. We give up ourselves for fear of not giving them the best life we could. Not worth the price because the best life would be to model our entitlement to our creative gals, wouldn’t it?

Motherhood is a huge mind mess and everyone would be happier to stand by their choice to be in it all the way, or stay right the heck out of it and cheer us mothers on. Because either way, it is a choice,

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

A Walk in the Woods for a Little Forest Bathing

Walking the Cross Island Trail on Kent Island here on Maryland’s Eastern Shore, USA, is an escape walk for me. Even with the whooshing of the nearby highway, I go just 100 feet down the asphalt pathway and suddenly I’m surrounded by tall trees and wondrous birdsong. I went forest bathing, or Shinrin-yoku, today and the Nature Therapy is always necessary.

A Walk in the Woods for a Little Forest Bathing on Shalavee.com
A Walk in the Woods for a Little Forest Bathing on Shalavee.com

I chose to go East this time instead of West. And I enjoyed the change of the feel of the forest and the water views. Old dark stumps crouching on the woods floor felt like cat beasts ready to pounce. Met a happy little turtle who was sunning himself until I made him panic. A pigeon perched on the bridge across Piney Creek to greeted me. And I avoided plenty of poison ivy as I stayed on the yellow brick road.

A Walk in the Woods for a Little Forest Bathing on Shalavee.com
A Walk in the Woods for a Little Forest Bathing on Shalavee.com

A half hour out and then a half hour back to my car awaiting my return in the parking lot of the Peruvian Chicken place to ferry me and a lunch special homeward. I am full and exercised and can no longer feel the pull in my right hamstring. I finished my walk before the dark clouds unloaded on me.

Sadly, the allergy place was not open for allergy shots which was the reason I had traveled the half hour there. So I’ll just have to reschedule to go back for another walk and a $5 chicken platter with beans and rice after my shots. Oh well.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Let It Be

So many things I think I should be doing. I should have a spiritual practice. I should be exercising more. I should be publishing my brilliant writing in big magazines. But most of the time, I can’t accommodate all of my shoulds. And my day turns into cleaned bathrooms, walk taken, and dinner
made. Throw a holiday in there and I don additional job hats as a fat elf and an invisible bunny rabbit. There’s no such thing as regularity. Yet somehow I keep hoping it’s possible.

Yes I could use a wife. And here comes Summer time when I suddenly become Julie your cruise director organizing all you fun Summer Family happenings and packing and planning and scheduling. But I dare say, I love it in many ways and it won’t be like this always. So I think I’m gonna let it be.

At any given point, your life is what you think it is. If you keep thinking it’s bad, it’s bad. If your think it’s a messy blessing, than that’s exactly what it is.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Hurry, Scurry, and Worry

I became so tired of the hurry, scurry, and worry. As I read blog posts and Instagram posts about how people had experienced adrenal gland burn out from all the anxiety juice they were pumping into their bodies, I understood even more my own addiction to Doing.

In my case, the anxiety manifested into stomach problems. As a child, I had stomach aches. As a college student, I had gastritis which was one step away from an ulcer. And when I had my children I would devlop a pain in my stomach that went straight back to my rib cage. My anxieties were physically manifesting right where Virgos are known to be vulnerable: in my gut. Gradually I caught on that taking Zantac quelled the acid, but two Christmases ago, my stomach was so ouchy that I couldn’t drink red wine or eat tomato sauce.

The Hurry, Worry, and Scurry on Shalavee.com

Flash forward to this November when a stressful October and a November emotional episode led me to ask for medicine to alleviate my anxieties. The sky opened up for me.

I slowly began to notice that anything I said I couldn’t do made me anxious at the anticipated outcome of failure. And when I just did my best and let life happen, I was much more calmer. I’ve stayed very easy going and worry free as much as possible. I avoid making lists but rather just make the effort to do the things I need to get done. I’m 100 times less neurotic.

The Hurry, Worry, and Scurry on Shalavee.com

This morning, I am looking at a day that seems to yawn time in front of me, although I also know that the time is finite and will come crashing down around my shoulders at 3:30 when the bus returns my daughter. And I feel completely happy and lucky that I am not in a frenzied hurry to scurry mode doing all the things I never used to give myself credit for. I give myself a ton of credit now. And I want to credit a lot of this claim and productivity to the regular art practice of the ICAD project last year and the
100 day project last and this year. What is meant to get done today will get done today. And there is a bunch more tomorrows to embrace hopefully.

How to gain self trust has been of the truest interest to me. See this article for the list of top methods of building self-trust.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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