search
top
Currently Browsing: Self-Discovery

Gardening of Your Soul

Kneeling on a chair cushion yesterday jamming dirt under my nails as I pulled weeds from my brick walkway, I had one of those garden/life analogies. While the grass clumps came out rather easily sometimes leaving a worm suddenly homeless, the dandelions dared me to yank them. Their tap roots going deeply down between those bricks threatening to leave some of themselves behind.

I have worked hard to recover myself and unwind my inner bits from my childhood traumas. I’ve been in counseling a good portion of my life and credit that for the majority of that work. But sometimes there are bits of roots left and broken off deep down that will not come easily but can not be left. For those, I requested and received medication and asked to do EMDR therapy.gardening the soul on Shalavee.com

I don’t think my consciousness will ever be completely weed free. But I can say that that garden is worth fighting for because we live there everyday and all of our choices and thoughts are filtered through that garden. By being aware of the nasty weeds others were responsible for planting and digging them up by the roots, you have a chance at being the happiest best version of yourself you can be.

Interested in reading my future thoughts on Creative Soul Living?

Enter your name into the subscription box in the sidebar to the right and subscribe to my bi-weekly posts via your emailbox.

Find me on Instagram to view my daily pictures,

friend me or like my page on Facebook.

I love community, soulful candid conversation, and being in touch.

And as always, thank you for your visit.

I Have a Hard Time Believing

I have a hard time believing. Raised by anxious agnostics with low self-esteem and a Depression mindset of scarcity who betrayed me, I have a hard time believing.

In January, I started a dietary and awareness adjustment program called Noom. It’s a great program because it comes from a psychological perspective, which I love. The first question they ask and want you to answer “yes” to is, “Do you believe you can lose this weight?”. When I read that question last November, I knew I would change nothing during the holidays.

But in January, I returned to Noom and said that “I believed”. Skip forward to two months later and I haven’t lost a significant amount of weight. I haven’t gained any weight either. With the fluctuations in my weight due to my redundant colon, my body is irregular. And I keep remembering what they say about women’s metabolism in their 50s. Slow and slower and slothlike.

But I also know that quitting never yielded positive results except with my first marriage. So I have to sit with my discomfort around not believing in myself. I have to keep logging my food and keep exercising and yes, keep stepping on the scale.

I have a hard time believing that all my hard work will make a difference in many applications. That much of what I say or write is of no interest to others. That no matter how hard I try, my kids are gonna end up with some sort of addiction problem. That I’ll never live debt-free. But I have no choice but to keep going. And do so joyfully.

Because the one thing I do believe in is Joyful living. And Creative Soul Living.

Interested in reading my future thoughts on Creative Soul Living?

Enter your name into the subscription box in the sidebar to the right and subscribe to my bi-weekly posts via your emailbox.

Find me on Instagram to view my daily pictures,

friend me or like my page on Facebook.

I love community, soulful candid conversation, and being in touch.

And as always, thank you for your visit.

 

Change Nothing and Nothing Changes

What did you choose to do this morning. Your morning routing, is it set as something you just do without thinking? Do you like it or do you sometimes wish there was change. What about your evenings? Are you a person who stays up or sleeps? Do you eat crap at nighttime and wish you didn’t? Do you intentionally talk to loved ones, exercise, drink water, or read daily?

How much of what each of us does is rote habit? Wasn’t a habit once a choice that you repeated? And if this is true, what could you change in your life that would make the biggest difference? Why are you not asking yourself these questions? Why aren’t you allowed to change your choices?

I am in the process of challenging and changing some choices that I’ve been making. Choices about what I do with my body, put into my body, and commit my time to. In order for these choices to stick and be sustainable, I need to be slow, steady, and intentional about introducing them. And I also need places and people to be accountable to like groups and coaches.

They say any day, any moment is a good one to start over. I agree.

Interested in reading my future ponderings on Creative Soul Living? Subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my weekly posts via your emailbox.

Find me on Instagram to see my daily pictures,

friend me or like my page on Facebook.

Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too.

I am a community kinda person and am always practicing Intentional Intouchness.

I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

What Personal Sustainability Looks Like

When we talk about environmental consciousness, “Sustainability” has become our buzzword referring to “meeting the needs of the present without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their needs”. Born in response to perceived public discontent over the long-term damage caused by a company’s focus on short-term profits, it has now entered my life’s vocabulary.

Personally, sustainability is how I make choices to live and not exhaust myself before I reach my goals. No goals? I think you just call that surviving. Or making do? I’ve been living a life without goals for a while and goals give me a place and a way to be proud of myself. So then the manner in which you choose to do this must be crafted and curated as to not sabotage yourself and do that burn out thing that seems so en vogue.

Creative Soul Living requires being both creative

and wise about our life choices

My sustainability starts with taking an inventory of my available time and how best to spread what I need to do over that time. This is tricky because we often get very gung ho about what we want to accomplish and unless we’re bipolar and spastic, we will overestimate our capabilities and our time and set ourselves up for feeling like failures pretty quickly.What Personal Sustainability Looks Like on Shalavee.com

As a mother, I have a lot less time than I think and a lot more. If I plan hard by meal-planning and delegation and just plain demanding my time away, I can eek out a few hours here or there for myself at home. I discovered that sustainability also has to do with pacing a diet. I can be Okay with a half a pound loss a week instead of a pound. And exercising. I am not going to all the classes I used to attend but rather showing up on the treadmill. And politely telling people I will be back soon.

Watching my boundaries to conserve my energy and time, as well as allowing for days that derail me due to illness or life happenstances, that is how I will allow the boat to stay afloat and going instead of abruptly tipping. Being realistic allows for patience, compassion, and understanding for ourselves. Sustainability will allow us to move however slowly but steadily toward the life we really want to be living. Creative Soul Living requires being both creative and wise about our life choices.

Interested in reading my future thoughts on Creative Soul Living?

Enter your name into the subscription box in the sidebar to the right and subscribe to my bi-weekly posts via your emailbox.

Find me on Instagram to view my daily pictures,

friend me or like my page on Facebook.

I love community, soulful candid conversation, and being in touch.

And as always, thank you for your visit.

How Hard is it To Pay Yourself Some Respect?

I am suddenly at a place in my life where I realize that life is harder for all the respect I haven’t been asking for. I find myself irked because my kid doesn’t respect me. Or my husband takes me for granted. Or my Mother just expects I’ll do that thing for her. But I realize that it’s just me beginning to realize that up until now, that’s all been Okay.

Respect starts with self-respect, a boundary on what you will permit others to ask of you and what you feel you are willing to do. And while some women can allow their souls and boobs to be sucked dry everyday, others may not be able to comfortably give of ourselves that much.How Hard is it To Pay Yourself Some Respect? on Shalavee.com

As my boundaries have gotten firmer and I recognize what I honestly have the energy to do daily, I have become more selective about my yeses. And sometimes, the people who are used to receiving the Yeses, feel a little disgruntled at your no’s.

The best and most truthful phrase you can utter to people who have their own interests at heart and not yours, is, “I’m sorry that you feel that way, I have to do this for me”. Repeat this several times to make sure they’ve heard you and seen the disconnect in your eyes. Then watch them change their tactics. Then let me know it worked.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

« Previous Entries

top