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Currently Browsing: Self-Discovery

There is More to Say in Silence

People have commented how they have heard the birds chirping more recently. I think the birds are chirping the same as they ever do but we’ve slowed our busy selves down enough to hear them. This pandemic is indeed causing a jarring shut down yet I understand that once you’ve stopped fighting the change, you start to become mindful of the silence. It’s a forced meditation.

I believe our overall society is too distracted from what truly matters. We would rather run away than just be with ourselves. We sit in the same room as our loved ones and escape through TV’s and headphones and devices. The family is endured but not necessarily enjoyed.

Because my husband and I are non-traditional age parents (old people with kids), we are in a better place to understand what a joy we have while it lasts with these children. I am always mindful of what they are experiencing and doing, always witnessing and recording their lives for them for later. And I can say that this forced time together has brought us closer in many ways I didn’t foresee.

Family values are about respecting ourselves and the choices we made to become parents. Parenting is about doing the best for them as well as for ourselves. And somehow, I think this quarantine and less busyness can be seen as a good thing if we take the time to listen in the silence to what our souls are asking us to hear. That we can respect ourselves, our boundaries, others’ boundaries, and still be in relationship to one another. In fact, we can take this opportunity to tell the truths we may not have heard over the din of the former “progress” we were making.

What do you hear now that the world has slowed to a halt? What do you realize you can not do without?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Still Practicing the Art and Mystery of Housewifery

Ask me the dreaded cliched “what do I do”question and I may pause. Do you mean, how do I earn and living? Or where do I find my life’s purpose in a seemingly dull life of parenting? I’ll answer that I’m a writer because that is definitely an answer I can proudly own. But truly, more of me is that homebody and that mother and I derive tremendous pride and pleasure from that. But you might not understand that answer. Because it all sounds so trite and swell and female.Still Practicing the Art and Mystery of Housewifery on Shalavee.com

I am very proud of the homebody I am. I have tremendous housepride as I have created a home that’s fun and comfortable and very me. I am “practicing the art and mystery of housewifery” as it was termed hundreds of years ago. This was a job young women apprenticed in because everything that made up the life inside the house was the wife’s jurisdiction and required knowledge, leadership, cooking skills, and organization. Add good parenting to that list and modern women’s lives don’t look much different. Except some of them work outside the home as well.

In order to make it look easy, there’s a lot that goes into all the work of maintaining a house and a family. From scheduling hair cuts, doctor’s appointments, and extra curricular activities, to maintaining pets and keeping a clean household as well as being responsible for 24 meals a week, it’s a Herculean task. I don’t think even we the homekeepers are giving ourselves the proper amount of credit.Still Practicing the Art and Mystery of Housewifery on Shalavee.com

I feel for the successful businesswoman who finds herself at home with her baby feeling worthless because she is no longer doing the job that made her feel powerful. Cleaning diapers and baby bottles doesn’t seem to hold the same glamour. We are not all raised and trained to value this immense and stressful job of being stay at home mothers. Finding the beauty in the moment of a toddler tantrum isn’t highly publicized.

I can say for myself, the more present and mindful I am, the more beautiful my life has become. I adore having the creative design outlet the house gives me. I love cooking most of the time and I adore making family time together. And I love being able to sit down and take my own time to write about how I feel about all of this. Because I am a homebody, mother, and writer. And I’m proud of these definitions of me.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Recovering Younger Parts of Me

Back when my therapist suggested I had different parts I needed to consider healing, I thought she was nuts. I wasn’t a schizophrenic. But then I began to understand that my inner child had been tantrumming because she wasn’t being allowed to create. And I conceded that maybe I did have different parts to me after all. And maybe me and my younger parts need to get reacquainted.

I’ve been thinking a lot about these different parts of me recently and this is what I have decided. Me and my inner child are good creativity wise. I have indulged her so richly that she trusts that if she needs to play, I will let her. I recognized my inner 20 year old likes to be pampered with new clothing and beauty treatments. My inner 30 year old is health concerned. And my inner 40 year old works on her wisdom lessons earnestly and enthusiastically.Recovering Younger Parts of Me on Shalavee.com

Recognizing all of this, I have done well with maintaining my beauty, I am going to the gym regularly and going to any and all doctor’s that need seeing. My work towards bettering myself and my world is slow but steady. And now in my 50’s, I’m realizing that the piece I am missing is my teenager. My judgment of her has blocked me from being all the good things that she gave me. She was irreverent and very sexy. And it seems that is not “allowable” behavior in my Mommy years.

But irreverence is permission to be authentic in many ways. Permission to break rules and respect yourself for not just fitting in. As a punk, you give other people secret permission to throw off their conformity shackles and be themselves too. As for sexy, that is a state of mind of “I am all that”. And that stuff is powerful stuff.Recovering Younger Parts of Me on Shalavee.com (more…)

Finding a Way to Be the Most Me I Can Be

I’ve strayed off the path to myself. I’ve been an impostor for a long time. Maybe it began when I was a kid and I was told to be quieter and not draw attention to myself. Maybe that’s why I’m drawn to writing what I feel so honestly; so that I may rediscover my truer self. But I feel like the true destination is an ease within at being me that I have yet to feel completely.

Of course fear is to blame for keeping me in the dark. That “savior’ we hold in our breasts, that bestie for life. But what kind of friend keeps you from community and from your artwork ? Perhaps she will always be here but she needs to have a seat in the thinking chair every once in a while.Finding a Way to Be the Most Me I Can Be on Shalavee.com

Since asking for help and going on Lexipro, an anti-anxiety medication, I have had delicious thoughts of freedom. I am constantly considering how to be more me and what that looks like. The wheels are in motion for a re-engagement in my “work”, in what I do. Taking myself a little more serious perhaps with a little more challenge and a little more fun. I am always reticent to set goals feeling that perhaps I won’t be able to fulfill them and it’ll be a let down. But I know one thing about myself; once I set an intention publicly, there’s no going back.

Stay Tuned!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

I Refuse to Feel Ashamed

I spent all last year in an “unhappy with my body” place. I could not accept that I had gained back weight I had previously lost, even though I had given myself permission to eat with gleeful abandon for the Holidays prior. And so I struggled with my esteem, my exercise routine, and my eating and drinking all through the year. But mostly, I silently hated myself for no longer fitting into my clothing and having to buy a new wardrobe of leggings and over-sized shirts.

This year, I chose to give myself the same permission during the holidays to enjoy myself. And of course, I already had the stretchy wardrobe so whatever. And I knew I’d expanded that much more afterwards. However this year, based on my word “And”, I decided I was to give myself permission to be where I am and to work towards the change that I would be proud of.

Shame can be one feeling that keeps us stuck. We feel ashamed of our bodies, our socioeconomic class, our families, and our homes. We have images in our minds of how “normal” people should live and look and act and anything detouring from that image makes us fear disapproval and feel shame. But this is such crap. 

So I decided to take my burgeoning body to the gym in my too tight clothing and just not choose to feel ashamed. After all, I’m there right? I’m in the classes keeping up with everyone so therefore, why would I feel ashamed. And it’s my opinion that anyone that would wish me to feel shame is truly an unkind frightened person themselves. I bring a smile and a laugh to the classes and that is a blessing to all of us.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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