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Currently Browsing: Self-Discovery

Enrolled and Sharing the Creative Doer Course from Anna Lovind

I am currently enrolled in the Creative Doer course constructed by Anna Lovind to find clarity on the creative project we have been dreaming of doing and the freedom, clarity, and inspiration to proceed. I knew this would be what I needed because her Creative Doer book was one of the most amazing reads, outside of Big Magic, I’ve ever read on the subject of Creativity. Anna’s been with me for over five years supporting me in my creativity journey.

In the beginning of my creative journey, I was desperate for wisdom and a plan. I grabbed tidbits and paid for courses on fear and branding and finding how my soul ticked. I was a black hole of need. And each scrap I threw at the hole burned up before it made a difference. Because what I was really looking for was freedom from the bondage of my low self-esteem and that would be an inside job.Enrolled and Sharing the Creative Doer Course from Anna Lovind on Shalavee.com

I attended therapy sessions and forced myself to show up online in social media circles with like-minded people. And this is where I started to shift. I was not the only one who was experiencing the death gripping fear of creativity. I was joined by women and men all over the world of all ages and I felt better. And one of these people was Anna.

She has continued to influence and impress me in the last five years. Anna Lovind is a Swedish author and revolutionary. She is a creative sister, a trauma victim, and the truest soul you will ever meet.

I wrote blog post upon blog post about what I was learning and how I was growing, or how I wished I could grow. I stayed present and truthful. As my circle grew, I found I had courage to reach out to this remarkable women.

In this Q & A blog post, I queried her on the balance of being a creative and a mother. I called her a “necessary resource”. Creative mothers need extra support.

In this blog post titled The Seesaw of Being a Creative Parent, I include all the Q and A’s I did on being a creative mama.

In this blog post titled Permission to Be a Changed You, I found inspiration in her words,

I am the person who is allowed to change. I don’t owe anyone consistency. I don’t need to be faithful to what I used to be (unless I want to).”

We all must find those people who we admire and trust to follow out of our depths. Anna is so fiercely devoted to her work and to her children that she allows me to know I am too.Enrolled and Sharing the Creative Doer Course from Anna Lovind on Shalavee.com

If you are at all interested, go join her via this link for a live question about he online Creative Doer course I am currently enrolled in. It’s a go at your own pace completely supported course in getting clear about who and what you are in need of doing as a creative. Tell her I sent you.

Love,

Shalagh

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Realizations During This Un-busy Season

Unattached to our auto-busyness, I think we’re realizing that we have a lot more power to choose our lives than we formerly thought. We can live our best lives proactively, thoughtfully, and consciously. You’d think we’d be dancing in the streets for realizing this freedom, but we are all such control freaks that freedom’s a bit of a scary concept.

Here’s what I’ve noticed shifting or not in me recently.

No matter how much time I have, I never seem to have enough to read. Still.

If I put an activity on a calendar or a list however, it gets done.Realizations During This Un-busy Season on Shalavee.com

If I plan my meals for the week, I feel freer and often get a little ahead with some prep.

When I exercise, I feel like I gave myself love and wings.

I am using more of what I have on hand and not wanting as much … but new clothing is still necessary.

I am less scared to have my kids home for the Summer than usual because I have found ways that I can get my alone time needs met by setting boundaries and asking others to help.Realizations During This Un-busy Season on Shalavee.com

I still hate obligations like dentist appointments but now they’re more adventurous.

The world is too loud and confusing so I am still in need of no news. I feel what I need to learn the most can only be heard in the silence inside myself.

Compassion is always the way through.

Here’s a post from the same time a year ago and it’s interesting how it’s all the same except I hear the overwhelm.

Hope you are holding up well. I have wonderful achievements coming to share. This Friday is the publishing of an essay I am proud of on the Lessons I Learned in Lockdown. And the 100 Day project will be wrapping up in two weeks!

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Grow Through What You Go Through

Grow through what you go through.

The best way out is always though.

For me, the largest shift happened not because I chose for it to happen

But because I stopped stopping it from happening.

My story two years ago,

The Fear shield comes up.

It disallows all the work I’ve done prior to matter.

Infantalizing me, ignoring all my efforts, it insists it needs to keep me safe in its way.

But I’ve done all of this work i say. I’ve studied and thought and grieved to get here.

Let me pass.

But there was always an impasse. Until l introduced anti-anxiety medication into my equation.

Then an unexpected shift happened.

I felt less resistance to my thoughts and dreams. My perpetual daily fear tape stopped running.

And I began to feel hope and movement.

Growth wanted to happen. It took all my learning and knowledge and applied it.

And fear took a back seat.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

A Sunday Catch-Up about Me

I’ve found myself a little quieter recently. Not just wanting to write for writing’s sake but to have something to say when I do. Something meaningful to me and to you. It’s not as if I haven’t ceased being busy. The kids are still home even if it has just turned Summer. At least I don’t need to nag my 7 year old to do her work and watch her cry. But there is still a heaviness as we manage their need for socializing.

I’m slowly working my way through creatrix and mentor Anna Lovind’s Creative Doer course, finding an understanding of what my inner productive creative needs to do to move onward. It seems I can tread water forever but I like having projects. So it’s time for me to self-lead myself to the next one.

A Sunday Catch-Up about Me

And what I found as I am listening to the lessons and and the meditations is that my urge is to create a place and a feeling of welcoming for people who need to be heard, to feel safe, and to decide to take their power back and make a life change. I want to create space for people to feel safe and to listen.

There are many technological advances that have opened up the communications for us during this lockdown. I want to explore what I would feel most comfortable with if I were searching for community. I am listening and looking for signs of my next step.

Meanwhile, I have also worked on creating connections with other bloggers and writers and there’ll be another essay published on Julia Barnicle’s sight soom. I’ll let you know when I know.

And I have just passed my 75th day of my 100 Day Project. So that’s a thing I need to share too. Talk at you soon!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Struggling With Priorities : Them or Me

The largest part of who I am is needing to have my kids feel safe. In the beginning of our coronacation, I have fussed and hovered like I did when we would take our littles on vacation and I would worry they wouldn’t sleep. I’d be the sleepless one while the kids would pass out happily. They have done well, broken down and cried on and at me. But their feelings have been honored and I feel successful that they feel safe. However, it is exhausting to care for people this hard. Especially dramatic redheaded daughters.

Truth is, I can see how we Moms have a perfect excuse to not pursue our own personal creative goals. I have long struggled with what I “really want to do”. Even as it seems I’m doing “it”, I’m not feeling like I am. I realize it’s all about considering myself as not enough. Not enough of a good parent or a committed creative. So many ways I can look right at my life and deem it a failure.

I found this poem that I wrote a while back and I really think it sums up the inner battle I have with my expectations to succeed and what is enough.

 

I chatter at it and

Batter at it and

still it is not fixed.

The ages old self-diatribe

I am not enough, I am not enough

 

I tell everyone, I’m OK, I’m fine

But in my mind there’s a line

And I’m on the wrong side.

 

The impossibility of moving on

Tethered to a ghost.

I trust no one, even myself

And so I remain lost

 

I crave the ease

The easy squeeze

that will fill my future full

Of gratitude and tenderness

of purposed hours filled.

 

I write at night

with all my sight

that I might

win this fight.

I have come a long way from where I was when I wrote this poem. I am more convinced that I am on my path just taking a more leisurely stroll along it. The medication was a wonder as it allowed me to use all of the education and hard work I had done prior. But the viral disruption that is 2020 has thrown all of us off balance and I am busy figuring out where my children stop and I begin.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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