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Currently Browsing: Self-Discovery

I Used to Be a Bunny But Now I’m a Turtle

No doubt you are familiar with the story of the tortoise and the hare. The hare, aka bunny, got cocky forseeing a future where he won the race, put on by a bored tyrannical lion, because he was faster than the tortoise, aka turtle. And the bunny lost because he prioritized a nap and his obvious destiny to win over actually being in the race. The story could be a reference to opposing governmental systems but for this post’s purposes, they are past and present me.

I used to be referred to as the Energizer Bunny which I also came to understand stood for my chosen defense mechanism I developed growing up against being criticized by my father: Industrious Overfocused. Looking and being busy staved off the inner voices of my Not Enoughs and I was constantly proving I was worth the value of what I accomplished. But I didn’t believe it until I finally did believe I was enough. That is another story.

I used to be a bunny but now I'm a turtle on Shalavee.com

Since my shift, I feel more like Master Oogway from Kung Fu Panda. The wise old tortoise knew the powers of being present. He said,”You are too concerned with what was and what will be. There is a saying: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.” Where I used to worry about what people might think and not making mistakes, I am now mindful that this moment is all I truly have and I cherish each by making the best of them. Whether that’s being present is for my daughter or my son or myself, I recognize the power of my focused attention.

I am taking my life so slowly because I want my impetus to come from personal desire and not the should place of my past. When I come from a place of should, it never works out well. I am being cautiously optimistic that the universe is routing for me. I am working from a place of faith that I am here not only to birth and witness my children, but to do the same for myself. I aspire to be a wise old turtle.

Ps. Another Lesson I learned from Kung Fu Panda was How Chi is all it’s cracked up to be.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Reserve the Right to Make a Bad Decision

This morning, I was considering how hard it is sometimes to make a decision. Especially with our epidemic perfectionism, we are often paralyzed by the idea of making a “wrong” decision. But truly, the hardest part about making the decision is making the decision. The carrying out of the decision and the consequences are a matter of wrote and history at that point.

Choice and changes are inevitable. “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice”, from the song Free Will by Rush . There is no way out of change. If we buck our leaders, our mothers, or ourselves, we will create a place where we are alone and mistrusting of our lives. The indecision we experience over a decision is either a symptom of our mistrust of ourselves or can end up causing us to mistrust ourselves more if we give our indecision any credit.

reserve the right to make bad decisions on shalavee.com

Instead, if we know that 50% of our choices will not work out, we can assume that 50% will. And we could afford ourselves the respect that any choice we make will be the best we are capable of at the time. When my husband was in a room helping to negotiate a labor contract, the lawyer for the management turned to him and said,”Management reserves the right to make bad decisions.” Touchee.

So instead of undermining ourselves with doubt over whichever choice we make, we would be better off to just concede that we do the best we can with the information we have at a given time and go with our guts. Trust in ourselves is a muscle we build every time we choose. And to respect our need to grow this muscle and that we always do our best, we can be compassionate self-leaders.

I encourage you to reserve the right to make bad choices. Grant yourself permission to be wrong. But you just might be right.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Self Love Day

Valentine’s week is here. And I found myself considering what self-love meant to me. Undoubtedly we can not truly pay someone the attention and respect of love unselfishly if we do not have some to spare from our own hearts. But what does self-love look like at it’s best. And can we court or woo ourselves into liking us better?

Self-love is part care-taking and part self-compassion. It’s being a good parent and a gracious host.

I love myself when I eat good for me food I’m happy to eat and that’s yummy too.

I love myself when I spend time with my friends chatting and laughing.

I love myself when I go to the gym and get exercised.

I love myself when I listen to my aches and go to the doctor to check them out.

I love myself when I tell myself I can and I do.

I love myself when I pamper me with hairdos and pedicures and new slippers.

self love day on Shalavee.com

I love myself when I sit in front of the fire with my laptop and write.

I love myself when I choose to acknowledge something I’m good at rather than bad at.

I love myself when I figure out the tech to be able to listen to good music in the car.

I love myself when I commit to my creativity.

I love myself when I know I did a good job parenting today.

I love myself when I don’t overwhelm myself with too much to do.

I hope everyone has a Lovely Valentine’s day this week and that you shower yourself with intentional self-love too!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

I Was in Happiness Debt

I was thinking this morning about how I used to live my days from waking to sleeping , thinking I was inept and incapable. Every undone thing around me was proof that I was inept and incapable. As I set standards so sky high, I withheld approval for my life to be enough and I was a hostage. This had gone on for so very long that I was in Happiness Debt.

How it is that we come to decide that we are unworthy of happiness is a simple story of a moment in our life, our childhood when we decide that the love we know in our hearts we deserve is not going to be ours. And as we are small, we blame ourselves. This feeling stays in us even as we grow large. And we find ourselves recreating circumstances to continuously prove our unworthy theory.

But having our happiness and hope held for ransom does no one any good. The world doesn’t benefit from our best selves. And I am certain the very people who we got these beliefs from would be horrified if they knew we felt these worthless ways about ourselves.

Do whatever it takes to make changes. What we do with our days makes up our lives. Change nothing and nothing changes. In a last ditch effort, I finally chose to see if medicine might help me erase the constant negative buzz. And it did. Try anything that you can think of from meditation to getting a life coach to acupuncture to create a new set of circumstances. We need change in our brains because we are no longer the children we were once. And our happiness now depends on us. As does our children’s.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

My Definition of Me Project

It all started when I asked, who do I think I am? I intended to facetiously ask myself this as in do I have the authority to speak on this subject? And then I realized that knowing who I am is in fact a good way to star the year.

I am on my 11th day now of defining myself via pictures and posts on Instagram and it’s been an interesting project. Here are a few of my Instagram posts.

My definition of me project on SHalavee.com

“Today I decided to challenge myself to two weeks of claiming Who I Think I Am. Every day I am going to focus on a facet of me that I appreciate. I am tagging them with #MydefinitionofShalagh. . 🔮HOPEFUL🔮

I seem to possess an unlimited amount of positivity and hope. This seems odd for all the bad stuff I’ve endured but hope is just in the fiber of my soul. “

#MydefinitionofShalagh .

“Day 4 … I am Kind (but not necessarily nice). #MydefinitionofShalagh .

My Mother told me this the other day. Honestly, I abhor the whole Nice Girl thing as it’s loaded with compliance and subservience. But I agree that I am Kind. I was acutely aware at the holidays of how much kindness means. I thanked people profusely. And I poured it on thickly promising to continue throughout the year with that intention.”

my definition of me project on Shalavee.com

“Day 6 … I am a Domestic Goddess.
#MydefinitionofShalagh

My kids have no concept that many children do not get homemade  chocolate chip buttermilk pancakes for breakfast. They take it for granted and that’s ok. I am a cook, a feeder Mom, and terribly house proud. I want my home to be comfortable, cozy, and fun. There is no shame in being a homebody. I am proud to spin this web of safety everyday for me and my family.”

I am a cat whisperer, I am a lush, and I am trustworthy except to myself. I am continuing to figure out who I think I am. Follow along on social media if you can or would like. As always, thank you for reading.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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