search
top
Currently Browsing: Self-Discovery

Resistance/Horror vs. Acceptance/Change

This Corona Virus pandemic took we normal people for a ride we didn’t see coming.  Surely it was an inevitability to the scientists who understand these things, but to the rest of us, this felt like another broadcast of the War of the Worlds. And we met the onslaught of information and commands with resistance and horror. We all get that feeling that it won’t be us, we hate to not be in control, and we are such creatures of habit that the grief of this change was ridiculously hard on us. Not to mention, the source that was giving us information was untrustworthy. 

And now, almost three months later, as Summer is about to start here in the US and we’re already feeling in the swing of being off, there’s a switch inside me wanting to be flipped. I am tired of having to be purposeful, responsible, productive, and protective. Tired of misery and abstinence. Of being bad guy teacher, dietitian, and sterilization maid. I am ready to adopt a new normal at my house.Resistance/Horror vs. Acceptance/Change on Shalavee.com

As it seems obvious, we are still in need of being extra careful out in the world. The strongest caution is we don’t need to be spitting in eachother’s airspaces. But walking and talking 6 feet from one another is highly doable and pleasurable. Hugging with masks on and clean hands is probably a great thing. We need to adopt our own guidelines of acceptability and safety. And not judge others for theirs. I’m ready to make a to do list of all the fun and creative things I want to accomplish. I’m tired of being the old me. 

So as we move into acceptance that this will all be different and kinda sucky for a little while longer, why not try to actually head for the fun. Stop trying to continue to live the life you used to lead and start a new one. Make a to do list of creative and fun things to do. We are alive afterall. Let’s celebrate that. And let’s embrace our gift of life by enjoying it. Let’s be less what we used to be and more of what we want to be. 

Be the change since it would truly seem there are no better choices. What else can we lose?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Just Five Things

I have joined a week long exercise in mindfulness and community expansion this week. Created and run by Michelle GD, The Just Five Things Course is asking me to pause three times a day and list five things based on the prompt word of the day. I must admit that “Gratitude” was a hard prompt for me to be inspired by yesterday. However, what came to my attention is that maybe I truly need way more intentional time carved out for myself for my well being. My boundaries are a little wobbly sometimes. Today is Home and I wanted to share my submission with you…Just Five Things on Shalavee.com

“Home”  for Tuesday day May 19th 

Morning
– Comfort and space as cats await my exit from my bed
– Lack of time to myself and chatter and coffee
– Doingness, planning, managing, and watching the redhead’s mood
– Rifle through clothing that I’d rather burn than wear
– Bandits escape and return from shopping to unpack back into kitchen space aka my home office

Afternoon
– Dance of devices in silent and interrupting circles
– The smell of Homemade Chicken noodle soup and lemony clean kitchen floor
– Another escape and return, a walk about a town where my kids grew up noticing every abandoned plant,
– Collage art and blog posts written in my craftroom, a mostly unoccupied space just for me
– Safe inside with windows open watching the winds tear at the world

This evening, I want home to hold me still and keep quiet while I spend some time alone.
There’ll be a bath time but I may be released from my duties.
There’ll be a dinner. I’m voting leftovers. The proof that I have had a purpose even though there’s seemingly nothing to show for it. There’ll be my people around me laughing and being them while I be me.
And hopefully I can take a journal and a book to bed and relax into sleep.

Plus, I made a list and did both the things on it. Technically I am no longer listless. Hope this inspires you to stop and look at your day in a different way. 

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Are You in Feeling or Dealing Mode?

Where I was a dealer and not the feeler in the beginning of this lockdown, now no amount of cooking, cleaning, or wine is making this quarantine better for me. I was writing to do lists for a while. But even that is not bestowing me any sense of normality. I’m carrying my pain, my children’s pain, and concern for our mothers’ health. And all I really want to do is just spend a week alone.

I make sure I get a walk in everyday. I do laundry and grocery shopping twice every week. I cook 75% of our meals. I do a collage every day for my 100 day project. And I try to write these blog posts three times weekly but sometimes it’s only twice. I was in dealing mode but I’m fast melting down. Going into feeling mode. This last week I almost cried. For me, that’s a thing.Are You in Feeling or Dealing Mode? on Shalavee.com

Before this all happened, I always beat myself up because I am not working on the next big project. Because I gained weight and I couldn’t seem to shed it. Nothing’s changed. Except now I have no alone time and no gym to go to. When do I get the epiphany that this is all meant to be? And it isn’t about me? Just gonna keep writing what I’m thinking and feeling in hopes that this feels like a truth you need to hear.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Shaking Our Proclivity for Productivity

Whether it comes from a “Protestant Work Ethic”adopted by the Western world or the American Dream Seekers defining themselves through their Productivity, it’s still here and it’s exhausting and outdated. We’re at home against our will and still we can’t just BE.

I think there needs to be a time, a moment when you have been productive enough. Being helpless makes people want to be in control of things. For me that looks like doing laundry, cleaning, and cooking. Knowing that I have fulfilled all my care-taking duties to the best and most of my abilities.

And then there’s a point when I need to just be a human being, not a human doing.

I need to read a book. I need to do a home manicure on myself. I need to light a candle and write in my journal. Anything that feels like I am being me, with me, and for me. These are the things that may seem indulgent or selfish but will fill my tanks instead of deplete them more.

When have we been productive enough? Is experiencing burnout and breakdown worth that much productivity. Or can we cease the self-judgment and self-bullying just long enough to enjoy just being ourselves. Enjoy being a human being for 15 minutes everyday. That’s the healing I think we all need to gift ourselves with. What other choice do we truly have in light of the lack of busyness?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

There is More to Say in Silence

People have commented how they have heard the birds chirping more recently. I think the birds are chirping the same as they ever do but we’ve slowed our busy selves down enough to hear them. This pandemic is indeed causing a jarring shut down yet I understand that once you’ve stopped fighting the change, you start to become mindful of the silence. It’s a forced meditation.

I believe our overall society is too distracted from what truly matters. We would rather run away than just be with ourselves. We sit in the same room as our loved ones and escape through TV’s and headphones and devices. The family is endured but not necessarily enjoyed.

Because my husband and I are non-traditional age parents (old people with kids), we are in a better place to understand what a joy we have while it lasts with these children. I am always mindful of what they are experiencing and doing, always witnessing and recording their lives for them for later. And I can say that this forced time together has brought us closer in many ways I didn’t foresee.

Family values are about respecting ourselves and the choices we made to become parents. Parenting is about doing the best for them as well as for ourselves. And somehow, I think this quarantine and less busyness can be seen as a good thing if we take the time to listen in the silence to what our souls are asking us to hear. That we can respect ourselves, our boundaries, others’ boundaries, and still be in relationship to one another. In fact, we can take this opportunity to tell the truths we may not have heard over the din of the former “progress” we were making.

What do you hear now that the world has slowed to a halt? What do you realize you can not do without?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

« Previous Entries

top