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Currently Browsing: Self-Discovery

Finding a Way to Be the Most Me I Can Be

I’ve strayed off the path to myself. I’ve been an impostor for a long time. Maybe it began when I was a kid and I was told to be quieter and not draw attention to myself. Maybe that’s why I’m drawn to writing what I feel so honestly; so that I may rediscover my truer self. But I feel like the true destination is an ease within at being me that I have yet to feel completely.

Of course fear is to blame for keeping me in the dark. That “savior’ we hold in our breasts, that bestie for life. But what kind of friend keeps you from community and from your artwork ? Perhaps she will always be here but she needs to have a seat in the thinking chair every once in a while.Finding a Way to Be the Most Me I Can Be on Shalavee.com

Since asking for help and going on Lexipro, an anti-anxiety medication, I have had delicious thoughts of freedom. I am constantly considering how to be more me and what that looks like. The wheels are in motion for a re-engagement in my “work”, in what I do. Taking myself a little more serious perhaps with a little more challenge and a little more fun. I am always reticent to set goals feeling that perhaps I won’t be able to fulfill them and it’ll be a let down. But I know one thing about myself; once I set an intention publicly, there’s no going back.

Stay Tuned!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

I Refuse to Feel Ashamed

I spent all last year in an “unhappy with my body” place. I could not accept that I had gained back weight I had previously lost, even though I had given myself permission to eat with gleeful abandon for the Holidays prior. And so I struggled with my esteem, my exercise routine, and my eating and drinking all through the year. But mostly, I silently hated myself for no longer fitting into my clothing and having to buy a new wardrobe of leggings and over-sized shirts.

This year, I chose to give myself the same permission during the holidays to enjoy myself. And of course, I already had the stretchy wardrobe so whatever. And I knew I’d expanded that much more afterwards. However this year, based on my word “And”, I decided I was to give myself permission to be where I am and to work towards the change that I would be proud of.

Shame can be one feeling that keeps us stuck. We feel ashamed of our bodies, our socioeconomic class, our families, and our homes. We have images in our minds of how “normal” people should live and look and act and anything detouring from that image makes us fear disapproval and feel shame. But this is such crap. 

So I decided to take my burgeoning body to the gym in my too tight clothing and just not choose to feel ashamed. After all, I’m there right? I’m in the classes keeping up with everyone so therefore, why would I feel ashamed. And it’s my opinion that anyone that would wish me to feel shame is truly an unkind frightened person themselves. I bring a smile and a laugh to the classes and that is a blessing to all of us.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Mindmapping My Goals for 2020

I was feeling inevitably untethered in the first days of the New Year. I had produced an amazing heartfelt soulfulfilling holiday experience. And now it was time to pack it up and move on. I grieved for a little while and then I began to search for a way out. And what I found was a way to creatively look toward the new year: Mindmapping my upcoming year’s goals.

In my previous post A Little Post Christmas Blues , I said I’d show my work. Here’s the YouTube video that inspired me to do this. Her name is Taylor, she lives in Texas, and goes by Tattoedteacherplans on Instagram. She’s planner crazy apparently which I’m not but she’s doing what she loves!

 

 

I chose to skip whatever preliminary work she talks about. I was just stealing her format. But it was fun to listen to her discuss how she was thinking about her year and to watch the sped up film of her making the map.

My categories were Self/Health, Creative Play, Financial, Life Work/Career, and Spiritual. I listed those and took a couple days to fill in the ways in which I wanted to expand and grow in these areas. And the criteria was that I needed to feel good and hopeful and happy about everything I put on this map. Nothing that I felt I “should” do was going on there. And here’s the finished product.

Mindmapping my goals for 2020 on Shalavee.com

I was going to call this post “Nothing Changes on New Years Day (Unless You Want It To)” because honestly, that’s the truth. I get to decide what this year will feel like. I’m intuiting my life because doing what I think I should just messes me up. I am asking for help in the places I need it and will keep this map where I can see and stay on track with these intentions. I’ll keep you apprised as I tend them and grow with them. The goal is always to keep the doubts at bay and build the self-trust always.

Thank you for keeping an eye on me lovely people. Doing the best I can and am thinking that it’s pretty darn great!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

A Little Post Christmas Blues

Yesterday, began the first full week back to school after the winter holidays. And I was feeling a sudden bout of post-holiday-partum. We celebrated a beautiful holiday with surplus time spent with family eating sumptuous food. I coordinated the event to end all events, because we are all event planners at Christmas. And now I have to strip it all apart. Dismantle the happiness. And then I have to re-purpose myself. Ack!

To find some inspiration, I began to poke around Instagram, clicking on hashtags in curiosity. And I fell upon a woman creating a beautiful mind map which listed all of her different categorized goals for the year. And I said, yes to that idea because art and purpose! Of course, I got halfway through and my family descended on me. But there’s something about being midway through a project that makes you excited to go back to it. I’ll show you more as it progresses. I promise.

I was floundering for a little while there until I intuited a creative way out. I get to decide what I want to have fun accomplishing in 2020. Because, as my husband says, if you are not having fun, you’re not doing it right. So here’s to fun and creativity in 2020 and connecting and creating with my community in more and more ways!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Quietly Starting off 2020

I took a lot of lovely pictures during the Holidays but wasn’t compelled to share them. There’s a calm withdrawal from much of what I automatically have done. I want to find a deeper place to draw from. I am yearning for a profounder place of purpose. Authentically sharing what I know I need to and not because I think people will like me for it.

All of the changes I’ve made have come from my intuition. I watch people, I listen to what they say that makes sense to me, I incorporate the feeling and the thoughts, and I turn in the direction that makes more sense. Resetting my life’s compass is a combined effort of you and me, the reader in me and the writer in you and vice versa.Quietly Starting off 2020 on Shalavee.com

I also think that there can be way too much thinking going on in my brain. Waiting is fine but the best lessons come when we take a step in any direction and gauge what happens next. I have long meant to upgrade the blog site and many steps have been made and then halted. One big step I took in 2019 was to pick this up again. As terrifying as this is for me, and it truly is, I am also in need of being done stepping into a new skin, a new vehicle to inspire me and my readership.

So hold on to your hats, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride into the next phase of what Shalavee means to me and you.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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