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What Do You Truly Believe About You?

In the bathroom moments ago, I was thinking about what I was going to be doing today. And what are the possibilities (endless). And suddenly I was aware of what I think of my capabilities. Am I the sort of person who can restructure her life to make more important projects happen? Like writing a book? Hold the answer because that instant is when the magic, or the damnation sentencing happens. What you believe is what happens. Mostly.

What we believe in ourselves is what we will create. I ask you, what do you believe about yourself? What do you believe you are capable of? And that immediate answer is your life. Did you hear a negative answer? An “I can’t” in that moment? I then ask, how can that be OK? How can any of us let another day go by for ourselves knowing that our limiting beliefs are OK? And that we are modeling that for our daughters.What Do You Truly Believe About You? on Shalavee.com

So what should we/you do? Anything and everything to take a look at that. To question and refute the message you are settling for that it’s OK if you believe you have no power or have a gift to give. Because that’s such crap. We all have specific and unique talents and qualities that the world needs from us. That our families and friends already value in us. And I believe that it is our most important job to allow the world to benefit from this. To find a way to struggle through to understand our purpose here and stand hard on it.What Do You Truly Believe About You? on Shalavee.com

I have always been intrigued that even though I had the lowest of self-esteem, I still somehow knew that I had enough value to continue to struggle to rise. The faith to believe in my inherent worth. Because truly, if you are a Believer or not, how is it that we are not created equally. How is it possible that we somehow know with certainty that our worth is less than any other miraculous human being. That, my dear friends, is the first refutable lie on the way to finding out what you truly can believe in yourself.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Edit Your Story and Persist with Faith Like Cinderella

The story that is our life, up to a certain point, is written and told by others. We do not choose our parents or where we are born or the social status we are born into. Nor do we have control over who keeps us alive and what they teach us as littles. Our lives are a given in many ways and at least we can be grateful for our chance to exist. But then the story becomes ours to tell. 

Cinderella was loved and wanted when she was born. But bad things can happen to nice people. And the reverse is also true. We can be born into chaos and find a way to rise from the ashes. In my own personal experience, holding tightly to the resentment of my unlucky creation and existence doesn’t serve me. It keeps me routed to where I was and not able to move forward.Endure and Persist Like Cinderella on Shalavee.com

I would also say that a little adversity creates personal character. Cinderella is interesting because she somehow holds that love she had as a child and endures the cruelty with a faith for her future. We would expect her to want revenge for the ill-doings of the step-people but instead her inner-beauty is what gives her a chance to rise. Were she to hate them, she’d just be slumming with the haters instead of rising above as she does.

There aren’t any fairy godmothers per se, but I believe we can create our own hope and magic. And it starts with the basic understanding that we are all worthy of the effort and the hope. The only way I’ve moved on from my darkness is to maintain a blind faith that I was worth the work it has taken to get here. As if I was my daughter, an odd but profound thought.Endure and Persist Like Cinderella on Shalavee.com

As parents, and as women, we are teachers by example. Knowing that what I do is so much more powerful than what I say, I rise with as much power as I can to my life and the occasions I am creating to grow. Because deep down, even with devastating self-doubt and low self-esteem I suffered from, I still believed that this life was worth working on. And it is within my power to change my perceptions and choices and shift my life in directions of empowerment instead of self-destruction.

As women, I don’t think we will make any progress shifting our power back to ourselves until we acknowledge that we are much more than our circumstances and that our worth is a given worth fighting for. The rest of the process is figuring out how we rise as individuals to add our wealth of selves to the collective. What do we each need to learn about compassion and courage to continue our journeys to become who we authentically are? That is our real goal and the path that lights us on fire to our destinies.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

On Thought Leadership and Cyber Love

I fell down a cyber hole the other day and landed on an article written by a gentleman named Paul Jarvis, about how you can become a thought leader by just declaring yourself one. If you say you are, you are. Those who say it better can charge more. I was a little like “Well Yeah” and a little like “Oh No”. Because I’ve been thinking that I might actually consider myself a thought leader one day if I ever wrangled my thoughts in a comprehensive way to put them out there for people.

I detest how the charm of the internet also seems so littered and corrupted by all the greed and need. People need you to buy what they’re selling and what they’re saying. And a part of me thinks that these types are ruining it for all us nice people out here.On Thought Leadership and Cyber Love on Shalavee.com

But then I’m reminded that me and my nice friends are still hanging out on our media channels and we have honor and integrity. We’re feeling supported and not pressured by our connections thus proving that the internet can actually be a very supportive and lovely place if used correctly.

I believe that we’ve always been a society of egomaniacs. We aren’t so certain of what we are so that when we hear differing opinions than ours, we assume we’ve been affronted, even if we’ve not even been addressed. In the old days, our mothers would warn us to be polite even when we heard things we didn’t like. We would at least need to act respectfully in public for goodness sakes. But the online format has given people permission to forget what their mothers would have told them to not do.On Thought Leadership and Cyber Love on Shalavee.com

And so a climate of intolerance is unchecked and is growing. Where differing opinions used to be and still need to be respected to allow for humanity’s growth, we are now seeing more and more intolerance. I believe it’s just a fear shadow and I am compassionate for the pain of so many feeling this.

The opposite of fear is love. So love the heck out of you and everyone you meet today and see what happens. Surprise them and themselves.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Visibility and Vulnerability

As a person who has an online presence and blog, I’ve taken and watched these workshops led by the leading successors in the field of online leadership. Online marketing guru Seth Godin knows what it takes to succeed online and it’s formulaic. I took notes, screenshots, and saved it all in my head. But there’s always something missing for me and it’s been bugging me. Why can some people just roll on and demand the attention and achieve the success unapologetically while the rest of us have our feet stuck in the mud and our mouths open in shock. Vulnerability isn’t that easy.

After a few more years of reading, challenges, and listening to what I write, I think I may have a clue. It’s about apples and oranges, men and women. About societal programming and unfairly comparing myself to others.Vulnerability and Visibility on Shalavee.com

First, Brene Brown’s brilliant work on vulnerability brought me an understanding of how we are all hard-wired for connection with other humans which makes our number one fear, disconnection and the rejection that leads to it. I recognized how many of my fears were coming from a fear of being rejected and outcast. I’ve lived this rejection and it’s very painful. I’ve internalized this rejection and visited it upon myself. In rejecting my true self daily, it’s not a stretch to imagine others rejecting me.  So, vulnerability and the truth equates to death by ostracization.

Secondly, as women, we are programmed to be “good girls” doing what’s expected. We get good grades, act nice, and conform to the norm. We keep our visibility to a minimum because being out loud and truthful about ourselves and our desires is in direct conflict with being good and doing what’s expected. A self-created prison surely. And it shackles us. It’s just another nail in the lid of our silence.Vulnerability and Visibility on Shalavee.com

I know that when children became part of my life soup, their care became so primary, I somehow knew I was supposed to subjugate my needs for theirs. Their survival meant I was secondary. That makes no sense and, yet, it was basically understood. It was part of that good programming. Because their survival depends on me being accepted.

Men are driven to succeed. Numbers and winning and proving something. If you aren’t worried about being scarlet lettered for your outrageousness or being the one responsible for the lives of the children, family, or the elderly, you can be bold. If your needs are primary, you can be vulnerable. But somehow innately, there’s a nonsensical message that says you need men and the world to like you to survive. Do not upset the apple cart and everybody lives.Vulnerability and Visibility on Shalavee.com

I’ve come to understand that being truthful to myself and the world makes me invincible. That it allows for others to have permission to tell the truth. That it models authenticity to our children.  But those old scripts are embedded like weeds with enormous roots in our soul gardens. And as I see the patterns, I am shifting, renovating, rewriting, and weeding my life so that I can be free to roam out in the sunshine instead of hiding in a dark cave. I know that each person has their own path they need to follow to their truest self. Only I can define what that is. 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

My Fear of the Pain and Fearing the Pain Would Stay

There was a lot of physical pain and fear taking up space in my house this year. Both me and my cat were experiencing our own pain and fear nightmares at the beginning of the Summer. And I’ve since really understood how the feeling of pain can manifest into a more fearful outlook on the world. And mess you up.

This Summer was to be the Summer that I took care of myself. I swore in the beginning to follow through with all the procedures I needed to fix the problems with my SI joints and my sinuses as best I could. It took me all Summer and a dozen appointments and I made progress, but I also lived some fear too.The Fear and the Pain on Shalavee.com

Meanwhile, my poor cat Peewee, who was feral when we found her as a kitten two days after Christmas in 2007 on our back porch, has shade of freak out in her anyway, began to act more weird. She was more skittish and began to pee outside the cat box. I ignored it for a little while as we took our vacation but I knew I needed to wrangle her and take her to the vets. The getting her into a carrier is a dreadful undertaking of sheer strength and will. But once there, the doctor tested her urine and sure enough, she had a Urinary Tract Infection. Well I know these really hurt. And her treatment was antibiotics and some Valium.

In those few days while that cat was on her kitty downers, she was completely different. She was much less freaked out by her surroundings. She was very affectionate and dear. And it had me thinking about the pain as it manifests into fear, it changes your personality. How can you not filter your input and understanding of the world through the pain you feel?The Fear and the Pain on Shalavee.com

Meanwhile, I was really holding my breath that the new doctor and the subsequent shots I received in my SI joints would ease my pain. My fear of this not happening had me on guard all Summer and so nervous. My expectations were in charge. In the end, I now know I will have to pursue further types of treatment. But the pain isn’t as bad as it was in the beginning, it’s just not gone.  I know what my options are, it’s a matter of following through with them. I’m avoiding a fusion surgery until I have to. But that fear and the pain, it definitely had me making bad choices to numb myself out. A glass too many of wine and less and less exercise (plus sinus surgery had me have a seat for two weeks.)

I consequently lost parts of my confident self with the ongoing pain. I became less me with the pain and the fear. Smaller somehow. I am recovering now. Have adjusted my expectations of what I can expect and what I need to do next. Do your best, let go of the rest.The Fear and the Pain on Shalavee.com

This issue on a larger scale? You can’t have a population or community feel strong and make a difference if they can’t treat their pain and have hope to be rid of it. I don’t mean self-medicating with narcotics. I mean genuine health care and mental health services. And the population has to feel they deserve to receive it. That their worthy of this care. The healthcare issues are so much more than they seem. While other countries agree to the inherent worth and dignity of their citizens, we’re having some problems with this of late in the US.

The problem is bad enough that people who even have healthcare refuse to use it to take care of themselves because of out-of-pocket costs, our lack of self-worth feels sad. It almost takes an act of Herculean strength to drag yourself out of that place and act as if you were worth the care. But every single living person is worth the care.

My new motto is Que Sera Sera, Whatever will be will be. Enjoy this slightly bumpy ride via YouTube.

 

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

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