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International Women’s Day 2021 : Seeing Ourselves as Valuable

The theme for 2021’s International Women’s Day, which falls on Monday March 8th, is #ChoosetoChallenge .While the global pandemic over the past year has challenged all of us in ways we’d never have wished on anyone, it has also brought to light some woeful discrepancies in gender equality. I have issue with the dismissal and disrespect for Stay-at-home Moms who became the majority this past year.

In the middle of spending months constantly caretaking and worrying about three demanding humans this past year, I acknowledged I felt emotionally and physically exhausted and resentful of all the “doing” for my family. It was apparent my kids didn’t appreciate me. And when I heard other women were struggling with the overwhelm of having to simultaneously work, home-school, clean, and cook for their families, I saw a pattern of disrespect from society, families, and ourselves emerging.

Once you see something, you can not Un-see it. The world is unappreciative of the women who have been keeping us all sane, sanitary, and fed through this pandemic and of the generations prior. The very backbone of every country has been and is taken for granted as a “given” resource. But this Mom job isn’t a default job because we weren’t good enough for anything else. Honestly, we are so good at the multitasking of home maintenance that we make it look too easy. And we’re being taken for granted.

From my perspective, keeping the seams of the country stitched together is a relentless, disrespected, and necessary job. The toddler in diapers and the angry teen are the future of our country. Refusing to acknowledge, honor, and support families’ now saturated need for this special type of care and love at home dooms our next generation to their entitled future anger for emotional abandonment as their mothers spread themselves too thin to do it all. As they work to just pay for childcare.

International Women's Day 2021 : Seeing Ourselves as Valuable on Shalavee.com

These very women are also not asking the world and their families for their due acknowledgment and appreciation. It makes me sad that women are so quick to disregard themselves and their value. We often do what needs getting done without too much “fuss” stating it’s not a big deal, we’re just used to this and it’s easier for us to do the work without help. This is the hardest job ever. By taking ourselves for granted, we are raising and priming the next generation of women for the same self-neglect and disrespect. Playing it down needs to stop.

We cannot conquer what we can not recognize as oppressive, be it our own self-neglect or societal disrespect. In order to see ourselves as valuable human beings, we need to treat ourselves as such. But feeling entitled to respect when we suffer from low self-esteem and anxiety is nearly impossible. I am still on my own journey to climb out of the self-hatred hole and into the compassionate light of seeing myself as a worthy human. This takes additional work beyond that of caring for the family.

The lockdown has taught me life’s easier when I’m vigilant about my self-care by prioritizing my needs and maintaining my boundaries, especially with my family. I can only continue care-taking my children effectively and thoughtfully when I replenish my energy reserves. I do this with therapy, community support, journaling, creating art, and I am committed to taking anti-anxiety medications for the rest of my life. This is how I revere myself and stay sane. Our refusal to prioritize our care and needs doesn’t boost our self-sacrifice points. It does no one any good.

International Women's Day 2021 : Seeing Ourselves as Valuable on Shalavee.com

As we acknowledge our worthiness as women, I’d like to see us choose to join together in the grander act of superversion; a joint and conscious nurturing act of building ourselves and our daughters esteems up so they will be entitled to ask to be treated fairly and respectfully. Unlike subversion, this is not an act against anyone or anything, but an answer to a societal oversight. To honor our heroic female ancestors and ourselves, we can only help future generations recognize the importance of all the unseen selfless acts of love women perform for their families that have allowed future generations to thrive.

Only when we start exhibiting the behavior that we want to see, will the world shift with us. Right is just plain right. A little superversion as purposeful positivity, support, and nurturing, can unite and carry us together safely as one to speak and act on behalf of women around the globe who can not speak for themselves. This is how we can make change, from within ourselves and for the world. I’d like to say the patriarchy will applaud us, but it won’t. We just have to be here for each other no matter.

If you feel resentful towards the world and your families for the way they take you for granted, I completely understand. What will it take for us to tell them to think better of us? What tax breaks could we be offered so that being a stay at home Mom could be the more valued job it should be? How about subsidizing childcare workers to make it more available? And how can you yourself revere your own worthiness with acts of kindness so that others will treat you as you treat you? Please share these ideas and respectfully remember all those wonderful women who have come before us who deserved this kind of love and respect.

And then give this to yourselves.

This post is written to acknowledge the role of women in the world in honour of International Women’s Day 2021. The theme is  #choosetochallenge.  Co-ordinated by Attract Readers, https://www.attractreaders.com

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Ladies, We Are Still Disregarding Ourselves 100 Years Later

This pandemic has again brought to light the fact that the world runs on the efforts and consideration of the caretakers. In fact, the role of mother and homemaker has never been given it’s due respect from my perspective. We aren’t just undercompensated for the care we give the people who need it, we are under appreciated. And not just by everyone, but by ourselves.Ladies, We Are Still Disregarding Ourselves 100 Years Later on Shalavee.com

An exhibit at the National Museum of American History titled All Work and No Pay: A History of Women’s Invisible Labor went up just as the lockdown happened. Explore the history of women’s work in the home and the value and implications of unwaged labor. Despite making steps forward in the paid labor force, there is an implied and historical expectation that women will take care of the housework and unpaid work at home.”

100 years later with a right to vote and everyone still expects this of us, even us.Ladies, We Are Still Disregarding Ourselves 100 Years Later on Shalavee.com

For the care of our loved ones, we willingly sacrifice our own needs for time, space, peace, and care. These considerations for self-care fall on our shoulders just as all the other caretaking considerations and we shove them to the bottom of the list as we’ve always done. But then here we are, “Do as I do not as I say” and “My needs aren’t as important as yours”.

Here we are raising another generation to disregard women.

So my cry for freedom is that we stop the martyrdom of not caring for ourselves and fake it until we make it. We share chores because all work is just as important. We share childcare as best we can because we need time off. We ask brothers and sisters to take a day or two off of their lives to care for their parent too, we need to get our hair professionally dyed or just sit in silence and turn off our auto buttons. And let’s pass on to the next generation the idea that there is no work that is just “women’s work.”

Ladies, We Are Still Disregarding Ourselves 100 Years Later on Shalavee.com

     A banner from the Suffragist era reads,

Forward out of darkness, Leave behind the night.

Forward out of error, Forward into Light.”

Amen.

 

Interested in reading my future thoughts on Creative Soul Living?

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I love community, soulful candid conversation, and being in touch.

And as always, thank you for your visit.

What Low Self-Worth and Capitalism are Causing You to Do

We live in a society where lack of self-worth has become an epidemic. Low self-esteem is the new black. Most of us have come to believe in our inherent worthless and how we have to work hard, be successful, popular, attractive, healthy, wealthy, and be in control to earn worth.

When we were babies, we knew our worth. All that adulation was as it should be. But as we grow up, we become unaware of our true, unlimited worth. We forgot? It was systematically drained from us as we grew.

The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending we lay waste our powers;
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon! ”

– William Wordsworth –

We’re convinced that in order to regain this worth, we not only have to earn it, we have to buy it. Our cars and our houses and our children’s accomplishments are proof of our worth. What you believe in me has now become my unobtainable goal.

Capitalism has become our new religion and we’ve sacrificed our selves.

Just a reminder for the next time you are feeling unworthy; reach in your heart and remember everyone has equal worth on this planet when they were born. And somehow, that truly doesn’t diminish. And if after you have reminded yourself of this, you still need a little shopping therapy at Target, so be it.

Interested in reading my future ponderings on Creative Soul Living?Subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my weekly posts via your emailbox.

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I am a community kinda person and am always practicing Intentional Intouchness.

I live for conversations.

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Stay Strong and Let it Be OKay to Not Be OKay

At the bank today, I overheard a woman say “Stay Strong” and I said, “I prefer that to’stay safe’.” The teller said that the woman who said that was starting a campaign to promote mental health awareness and depression support through this time. And I said, “I can totally support that. I’m spreading Stay Strong”.

I am definitely affected by the weather, by my bodily and hormonal cycles, and by what I’ve heard or what has happened to me today. Some days I have the energy and some days I just don’t. It needs to be Okay to just not have it in me to do anything but read or sleep or go for a walk.

If I do not refill my well, I will not be able to take care of the others in my life. Taking care of these others is one of my number one jobs on this earth. But so is taking care of myself. I will do a lousy job of it if I am not at my best, if I don’t know that I have my own back.Stay Strong and Let it Be OKay to Not Be OKay on Shalavee.com

I am not the sort of person to be able to post daily quotes of inspiration. And I don’t always write in my journal to ground myself daily. But I do know that if it hurts, physically or mentally, I need help to make it stop hurting. And that absolutely everyone on the planet has fear. It’s how we deal with it that dignifies and honors us.

Tell anyone that you know, including yourself, that they are entitled to hurt and to be heard. And tell them to Stay Strong and that you are there as part of this strength. Compassion to all of us in this time of confusion and strain.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

“You Got This” Makes My Skin Crawl

Every decade we are bombarded with viral trendy pop-psychology or amusing catch phrase.

Where’s the Beef. You Go Girl. Peace Out. It’s All Good. Whoop There it is. Talk to the Hand. Don’t Have a Cow. Agree to Disagree. Drop it Like it’s Hot. Just Saying.

The very one I am completely irked by and done with is, “You Got This”. It just won’t die off seven years later. The insincerity of peppy positive people saying “You got this” makes me cringe at best, glower at worst.

I’m flattered that you feel you need to act like you believe in me. But you don’t know me. Not knowing me prevents you from having faith in my abilities. I don’t always have this faith and you are certainly not allowed to have more than me. Faith in our fellow humans is a great thing until insincerity ruins it for everyone.

Further, I may be suspicious of what you want from me with your false cheer leading. Or do you just want to look like a good person and make sure I like you? If that’s the case, perhaps saying “I’m here if you need me” would be more sincere. Or “I’m rooting for you”.

I’d like for the world to offer more genuine thoughts of positive humanity back to itself. Compassion and sincerity we would offer up with quotes like,

Believe that you can and your halfway there”,

Forgive Yourself for what you didn’t know”, or

You can if you think you can”. Perhaps they’re not as catchy but I do feel the sincerity from each of these. And I would admire you if you said them to me.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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