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KIndness

Why is it we think that we assume other people will suck? That they’ll be mean to us if we ask them for a hand or a hot shot. Why are we so surprised when we are rewarded with humanity.

I have recently noticed that when I present myself to the world with a glad and kind heart, a smile and a wave, and a little more confidence than I used to have, I am rewarded with the same. In fact, my kindness expands as I give it out. I touch them with the flame and they light up.

Kindness is the gift that keeps on giving. It costs nothing yet it is so valuable as it spreads exponentially expanding in heart after heart. 

The final frontier for many of us is practicing kindness with ourselves. To be as gentle and compassionate as we would with an animal, with ourselves. That kindness is what the world needs most of all.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The World Could Be Healed By a Weighty Blanket of Compassion

You’ve heard it over and over. The antidote to our toxic self-hatred and judgment is compassion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We agree but somehow that doesn’t seem to fit with how we feel and treat ourselves on a daily basis. We count on our driving ourselves hard to make progress, to make money, and to make our lives worth it. Compassion is not productive.

I’m in my therapy appointment today and it occurs to me and my therapist that perhaps I am still judging my teen self for some things. And where I may have forgiven my parents or you for doing your substandard best, I may still be holding myself in a vice for some choices. And frankly, I don’t want to hold myself prisoner anymore. I want to be allowed to be human.The World Could Be Healed By a Weighty Blanket of Compassion on Shalavee.com

The one and ONLY way to counteract self-hate, and that oogy sub-human feeling we bathe in consistently and unconsciously, is self-compassion. Instead, we only gently need to say I am sorry that that happened. I know you must have been doing the very best you could. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you from that. That must have sucked. I forgive your humanity. I forgive you.

Try it sometime. Heap a weighty blanket of compassion on yourself and everyone. Break the spell and be what the world needs you to be, Human.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

What 2018 Taught Me

I felt like I was making great strides in growing myself last year, 2018. I was feeling more sure of what my creativity was giving me both personally and perhaps professionally. I offered up a Wholehearted Living piece to a writer friend’s blog. And I started to create my own theory on the inverse relationship of creativity and anxiety. I felt a rhythm was coming.

And then I suffered an anxiety setback that set me reeling. I abandoned my aspirations and hunkered down to ride out the storm. And I took myself to the doctor’s and asked for medicinal help. Because pain is your body telling you that it needs help.What 2018 Taught Me on Shalavee.com

Why had I waited so long, I asked the doctor. He said “Stigma”. I had made it my goal trying to prove that anxiety can be conquered by therapy and creativity. And I was admitting I was wrong. I felt defeated and yet, once I had the medication cooking, I felt the hope of perhaps finally moving from a stuck place. And 9 months later, I was right. I have grieved my ego loss and moved on to what was beyond. Possibilities don’t feel like burdens of tasks I’m unable to do but rather hopes for a fun future.

Last year taught me that you have to do whatever it takes to take care of yourself. You have to ask for help and sometimes, give up and do something different. And you are the only one who can make the best decisions for you. Even if those decisions are hard to make. Because I think the hardest part of making a decision is making the decision. After that it’s just following through and seeing what happens next.What 2018 Taught Me on Shalavee.com

My wish for 2018 for myself was for perspective, safety, joy, inspiration, value, chances, strength, hope, and comfort. And “to live within my creative zone often enough to keep me joyful, true to myself, and to be able to appreciate this action and the interaction with my fellow people who know the truth of me.” I’d say that I fulfilled most of those intentions and then some last year. I feel creatively satiated and held by a growing community and I am trusting that I will take care of me in the coming years.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Permission to Be A Changed You

I was reminded of, or perhaps gifted, a thought today by a wise online connection, Anna Lovind. She said, “I am the person who is allowed to change. I don’t owe anyone consistency. I don’t need to be faithful to what I used to be (unless I want to).”

We owe no one, not even ourselves any explanations of who we are and what we are choosing and how we are acting and how we are changing. Change is hard enough as it is without throwing it on the mercy of the acceptance of others. Being human means we can decide to be someone different everyday we wake.

I just thought you may be able to use this permission this week. Some of us have tough inner critics. Some of us have tough outer critics as well.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Embrace the Hedonistic Ways of Your 20’s

In my 20’s, there was a beauty supply outlet up the street from me. I bought my first bottle of henna there. And over the years, I collected, nay amassed, a pretty impressive array of lipsticks and nail polishes. I hoarded mud masks and liquid eyeliners and I was hedonistic heroine with a date to go somewhere every weekend.

Flash forward to today and self-care looks like deodorant, a root touch-up, and my bi-monthly pedicure by someone who I pay to touch my grody feet. Gone are the days of beauty laden afternoons with a Walkman playing my favorite Inxs cassette. There is no one to buy me a drink and check out my hot body at the singles bar.Embrace the Hedonistic Ways of Your 20's

Instead, I’ve got my comfy pants on and hair pulled back in a unbrushed pony knot while I consider whether I want to enjoy gluten on Friday night pizza and movie night or not. I am the first one and the last one my daughter sees every day and she often points out my saggy skin and crooked teeth. The mirror mirror on my wall isn’t telling me what I what to hear anymore.

Life can be determinedly unfun and I was thinking, maybe I need to get back to some of the more selfish practices that made my youth so carefree. Plan days where fun is the only objective. Or days where it’s just me I can think of. Free to Be Me days.Embrace the Hedonistic Ways of Your 20's

Coffee or lunch with a girlfriend always feels decadent. Manicures are so unnecessary until you get them. And even reading can feel like an absolute luxury. But what would my inner hedonistic 20 year old do? Get a facial and go dancing. A spontaneous road trip to visit an old friend for lunch? Or buy something completely frivolous and pretty just because.

No I’m not going to go pick up strange men in bars but I forget that I’m still a person inside this wife and mother’s body. And she may need to be repaid with more fun units on occasion. To remember how it was when I prioritized me before the small ones usurped my existence. To entertain the ridiculous whims of a hormonal 20 something and see what happens. To feel like, to know I’m a goddess and treat myself as much.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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