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Embrace the Hedonistic Ways of Your 20’s

In my 20’s, there was a beauty supply outlet up the street from me. I bought my first bottle of henna there. And over the years, I collected, nay amassed, a pretty impressive array of lipsticks and nail polishes. I hoarded mud masks and liquid eyeliners and I was hedonistic heroine with a date to go somewhere every weekend.

Flash forward to today and self-care looks like deodorant, a root touch-up, and my bi-monthly pedicure by someone who I pay to touch my grody feet. Gone are the days of beauty laden afternoons with a Walkman playing my favorite Inxs cassette. There is no one to buy me a drink and check out my hot body at the singles bar.Embrace the Hedonistic Ways of Your 20's

Instead, I’ve got my comfy pants on and hair pulled back in a unbrushed pony knot while I consider whether I want to enjoy gluten on Friday night pizza and movie night or not. I am the first one and the last one my daughter sees every day and she often points out my saggy skin and crooked teeth. The mirror mirror on my wall isn’t telling me what I what to hear anymore.

Life can be determinedly unfun and I was thinking, maybe I need to get back to some of the more selfish practices that made my youth so carefree. Plan days where fun is the only objective. Or days where it’s just me I can think of. Free to Be Me days.Embrace the Hedonistic Ways of Your 20's

Coffee or lunch with a girlfriend always feels decadent. Manicures are so unnecessary until you get them. And even reading can feel like an absolute luxury. But what would my inner hedonistic 20 year old do? Get a facial and go dancing. A spontaneous road trip to visit an old friend for lunch? Or buy something completely frivolous and pretty just because.

No I’m not going to go pick up strange men in bars but I forget that I’m still a person inside this wife and mother’s body. And she may need to be repaid with more fun units on occasion. To remember how it was when I prioritized me before the small ones usurped my existence. To entertain the ridiculous whims of a hormonal 20 something and see what happens. To feel like, to know I’m a goddess and treat myself as much.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Creativist or Consumerist : Which one are You?

I believe that you are choosing to live your life on one of two paths. You are either living your life as a Creativist or as a Consumerist. And this is how this story and the dawning of my understanding between creativism and consumerism unfolded. I made friends with fellow uber-creative Olivia Sprinkel via Instagram. And I see in her bio she calls herself a creativist. I ask her what’s this?

She answers, “Hello! I saw a friend’s Facebook post about Eddie Izzard, an English comedian who asked ‘Are you a capitalist or creativist?’

I’m not a capitalist, I am a creativist. I want to make money so that I can create things. Suddenly all these people have come along who want to create things so they can make money.” – Eddie Izzard –

She says,”I really liked the word so ended up building out my own definition of creating + connecting + acting .”Creativist or Consumerist on Shalavee.com

So I read Olivia’s Manifesto on Creativism and I am hooked ! In her manifesto, The Creativist Manifesto : Consumer or Creativist ? , I began to understand what I had already known in my gut. Our system of capitalism and consumerism is destructive. It’s disingenuous and abusive. It does not value the individuality of the creative. 

I summed up my initial understanding of creativism in this post. Citing work by Author Orna Ross, another great resource for understanding creativism. The consumer wants to own or destroy what can’t be owned. This a masculine state of being whereas the creative state is the feminine. In this state we experience flow. We are responsible for our own happiness. We see the relativity of all experiences and input. We seek to work together as a collective to create a better outcome.Creativist or Consumerist on Shalavee.com

The way we perceive and use our minds differently in relation to these modes, Ms. Ross refers to as The Con-Mind verses the Creative Mind. That we are in different mind modes when we are creating as opposed to fixing and surviving and worrying is absolute. From my own research on anxiety and creativity, it is physically impossible to have an anxiety attack and be in creative flow at the same time. Physically, the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous systems can not be engaged at the same time.

The initial understanding of what we are being asked to do to fit in and survive leaves me numb. Our inner children are outraged at the crimes we are committing by denying our creativity. And only in valuing our individuality and ingenuity will we not only be happier beings but we’ll begin to truly create a sustainable existence. I hope this sparked you to ask more questions abut this subject. Awareness is the first chapter to change.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

What Do You Truly Believe About You?

In the bathroom moments ago, I was thinking about what I was going to be doing today. And what are the possibilities (endless). And suddenly I was aware of what I think of my capabilities. Am I the sort of person who can restructure her life to make more important projects happen? Like writing a book? Hold the answer because that instant is when the magic, or the damnation sentencing happens. What you believe is what happens. Mostly.

What we believe in ourselves is what we will create. I ask you, what do you believe about yourself? What do you believe you are capable of? And that immediate answer is your life. Did you hear a negative answer? An “I can’t” in that moment? I then ask, how can that be OK? How can any of us let another day go by for ourselves knowing that our limiting beliefs are OK? And that we are modeling that for our daughters.What Do You Truly Believe About You? on Shalavee.com

So what should we/you do? Anything and everything to take a look at that. To question and refute the message you are settling for that it’s OK if you believe you have no power or have a gift to give. Because that’s such crap. We all have specific and unique talents and qualities that the world needs from us. That our families and friends already value in us. And I believe that it is our most important job to allow the world to benefit from this. To find a way to struggle through to understand our purpose here and stand hard on it.What Do You Truly Believe About You? on Shalavee.com

I have always been intrigued that even though I had the lowest of self-esteem, I still somehow knew that I had enough value to continue to struggle to rise. The faith to believe in my inherent worth. Because truly, if you are a Believer or not, how is it that we are not created equally. How is it possible that we somehow know with certainty that our worth is less than any other miraculous human being. That, my dear friends, is the first refutable lie on the way to finding out what you truly can believe in yourself.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Edit Your Story and Persist with Faith Like Cinderella

The story that is our life, up to a certain point, is written and told by others. We do not choose our parents or where we are born or the social status we are born into. Nor do we have control over who keeps us alive and what they teach us as littles. Our lives are a given in many ways and at least we can be grateful for our chance to exist. But then the story becomes ours to tell. 

Cinderella was loved and wanted when she was born. But bad things can happen to nice people. And the reverse is also true. We can be born into chaos and find a way to rise from the ashes. In my own personal experience, holding tightly to the resentment of my unlucky creation and existence doesn’t serve me. It keeps me routed to where I was and not able to move forward.Endure and Persist Like Cinderella on Shalavee.com

I would also say that a little adversity creates personal character. Cinderella is interesting because she somehow holds that love she had as a child and endures the cruelty with a faith for her future. We would expect her to want revenge for the ill-doings of the step-people but instead her inner-beauty is what gives her a chance to rise. Were she to hate them, she’d just be slumming with the haters instead of rising above as she does.

There aren’t any fairy godmothers per se, but I believe we can create our own hope and magic. And it starts with the basic understanding that we are all worthy of the effort and the hope. The only way I’ve moved on from my darkness is to maintain a blind faith that I was worth the work it has taken to get here. As if I was my daughter, an odd but profound thought.Endure and Persist Like Cinderella on Shalavee.com

As parents, and as women, we are teachers by example. Knowing that what I do is so much more powerful than what I say, I rise with as much power as I can to my life and the occasions I am creating to grow. Because deep down, even with devastating self-doubt and low self-esteem I suffered from, I still believed that this life was worth working on. And it is within my power to change my perceptions and choices and shift my life in directions of empowerment instead of self-destruction.

As women, I don’t think we will make any progress shifting our power back to ourselves until we acknowledge that we are much more than our circumstances and that our worth is a given worth fighting for. The rest of the process is figuring out how we rise as individuals to add our wealth of selves to the collective. What do we each need to learn about compassion and courage to continue our journeys to become who we authentically are? That is our real goal and the path that lights us on fire to our destinies.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

On Thought Leadership and Cyber Love

I fell down a cyber hole the other day and landed on an article written by a gentleman named Paul Jarvis, about how you can become a thought leader by just declaring yourself one. If you say you are, you are. Those who say it better can charge more. I was a little like “Well Yeah” and a little like “Oh No”. Because I’ve been thinking that I might actually consider myself a thought leader one day if I ever wrangled my thoughts in a comprehensive way to put them out there for people.

I detest how the charm of the internet also seems so littered and corrupted by all the greed and need. People need you to buy what they’re selling and what they’re saying. And a part of me thinks that these types are ruining it for all us nice people out here.On Thought Leadership and Cyber Love on Shalavee.com

But then I’m reminded that me and my nice friends are still hanging out on our media channels and we have honor and integrity. We’re feeling supported and not pressured by our connections thus proving that the internet can actually be a very supportive and lovely place if used correctly.

I believe that we’ve always been a society of egomaniacs. We aren’t so certain of what we are so that when we hear differing opinions than ours, we assume we’ve been affronted, even if we’ve not even been addressed. In the old days, our mothers would warn us to be polite even when we heard things we didn’t like. We would at least need to act respectfully in public for goodness sakes. But the online format has given people permission to forget what their mothers would have told them to not do.On Thought Leadership and Cyber Love on Shalavee.com

And so a climate of intolerance is unchecked and is growing. Where differing opinions used to be and still need to be respected to allow for humanity’s growth, we are now seeing more and more intolerance. I believe it’s just a fear shadow and I am compassionate for the pain of so many feeling this.

The opposite of fear is love. So love the heck out of you and everyone you meet today and see what happens. Surprise them and themselves.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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