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Currently Browsing: Wisdom Lessons

Hush Hush Voices Carry

I have always been a loud person. I got my boisterousness, my exuberance, and my volume honestly. My mother’s laugh is loud enough so that you can find her at a State Fair. I am a truth teller, a devotee to honesty and the catharsis of storytelling.

When I was a teen, I met many people who really wanted me to hush up, quiet down, tone it down, etc.. My loudness, my truthfulness made them nervous. And so I began to resent being Shushed. But I believe my honesty makes people the most nervous.

hush hush voices carry on shalavee.com

In a world where you have to strive to fit in, where you supposed to tell other people’s truths, truthfulness isn’t valued. Even though talk television is brimming with true tales of self-defeat by addiction and the tragic sadness of self-hatred, it seems that it is still something that people aren’t allowed to talk about in the real world. Over coffee or a cocktail. Especially not on a public platform like a blog!

But here I am people. I don’t think I knew where this blog would lead me or what I would get up to by writing it. But I bloomed because of it. And my wobbly self-esteem and racy admissions have proven to be the very thing that people secretly wanted to hear someone else saying so they knew they weren’t the only ones.

I am loud and proud to be a wobbly uncertain human. And I appreciate and have compassion for everyone, even the ones that want to shush me, because you are just as human too.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Why Do I Do It? When My Reasons Don’t Ring True

I recently told you that I did not achieve the weight loss I had hoped to withing my given amount of time. In fact, I admitted I think being on Weigh Watchers seemed to make me gain weight. As in, who are you to tell me how many points I need, I’ll decide that. 4 months later, I ask myself, what if my why is just wrong. Because no matter the physiological cause and effects, “Whys” run the show.

So I am regarding those today and seeing what my truth might be. In the case of the losing weight, I think my reason is to be skinnier because I hate myself larger. Right there, the anger and judgment is what I’m stumbling on. “So you’ll like me” is never a good reason.

Why Do I Do It? When My Reasons Don't Ring True on Shalavee.com

A year ago when I was anxious and feeling down on myself for not being more successful. I should be publishing more, I should spend ore time writing seriously. But what I realize there is that “Because I should is also not a very good motivator.

These are habits which are tremendously hard to break. The habit of self-judgment. The habit of not enough. And after you recognize yourself participating in this habit, the only thing that can be done is to heap giant doses of self-compassion on yourself, consider that you are always where you are supposed to be despite all your rampant shoulds, and fin a bigger better why.

Why Do I Do It? When My Reasons Don't Ring True on Shalavee.com

So, what is another Reason Why I would like to lose ten pounds? What if I don’t need to be fixed? What if no one cares what I look like but me. What if I would like to prove that I could despite my old lady metabolism? Something needs to change in my thoughts before I can change anything.

But one things for sure, I need to be OK right where I am or I’m not going anywhere.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Expanding Our Meet-Up

Admittedly, when I assembled the hopeful attendees for my Meet-up Group (which turned 2 years old in March), I wanted them to say “yes” because I looked forward to getting to know each of them better. And my wishes were surpassed when they said yes and I felt perhaps I had a good idea not just for my benefit but everyone’s.

Expanding Our Meet-up on Shalavee.com

I was right of course. Women need to hear what other women feel and think so that they can feel more normalized. We want to hear that we’re not alone. We want to know what other people are doing about their similar problems, especially when it has to do with our women’s bodies.

We became closer at each meet-up. We understood each other more. We trusted our group to bring and discuss our meatier issues. One woman became my contact person for my kid’s school. We met for coffee or drinks on a few occasions and I knew we could call on each other if there were a crisis.

As much as I wanted to selfishly keep our group the same, I also knew that we would all benefit from an influx of new energy and intelligence. And so this past Sunday, we met again with several new faces and a few absences of our regulars. And what we find again is that we are intelligent women just wanting to talk about being us. We want to make deeper talk, ask and hear opinions, and witness each other in the safety of the group.

Expanding Our Meet-up on Shalavee.com
Our Hostess with the mostess Annie

As it was Cinqo De Mayo, our hostess asked us to come with a thought on revolution. I am all about that these days and offered that the oppression we suffer from id often at our own hands. No one needs to help us keep us down. We’ve got it under control ourselves worrying about things that have nothing to do with our truest selves. My first revolutionary step is to stop self-bullying.

If you have attended gatherings but feel like it’s not for you, I get it. Most of them are too superficial for me. I’m the kinda person that is ready to talk about the real stuff and be witnessed in the process. I encourage you to start your own meet-up and see if it isn’t exactly what you were looking for. And let me know how it goes.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Low Self-Esteem is Debilitating

There’s a problem I have with how people give you instructions and advice. That “All you need to do is” attitude may work great for some people. Yes, you really may have no idea how to build a readership or self-publish an E-book. Most of us can find a number of resources to tell us how to get there. I stumble don’t stumble with the how but with my low self-esteem. My can’t.

Low Self Esteem is Debilitating on Shalavee.com

For people with low self-esteem, it isn’t as simple as just do this to get that result. There’s another layer of difficulty that blocks us from even beginning. It’s the belief that we’re not even worth the effort. That we have no permission to rise above the place we’ve been keeping ourselves and ask for followers and assistance. This is unthinkable. We’re fairly certain everyone regards us as we do, not much there worth working for.

So until I began, and I think I have, to raise my self-value in my own eyes, I might give you a blank stare when and if you tell me that all I have to do is such and such. It’s just not that easy for everyone. Some of us have more to wade through to get to the “just do it” place than others. And being aware of that can make us all a little less judgmental and a little more compassionate for the stories people are not telling us.

Until I can, I can’t.

And that’s a harder place to fight your way out of than you might think.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Let It Be

So many things I think I should be doing. I should have a spiritual practice. I should be exercising more. I should be publishing my brilliant writing in big magazines. But most of the time, I can’t accommodate all of my shoulds. And my day turns into cleaned bathrooms, walk taken, and dinner
made. Throw a holiday in there and I don additional job hats as a fat elf and an invisible bunny rabbit. There’s no such thing as regularity. Yet somehow I keep hoping it’s possible.

Yes I could use a wife. And here comes Summer time when I suddenly become Julie your cruise director organizing all you fun Summer Family happenings and packing and planning and scheduling. But I dare say, I love it in many ways and it won’t be like this always. So I think I’m gonna let it be.

At any given point, your life is what you think it is. If you keep thinking it’s bad, it’s bad. If your think it’s a messy blessing, than that’s exactly what it is.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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