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Currently Browsing: Friendship

How Do you Tell the Difference?

How do you tell the difference between being who you are and being who you think you should be? We have been us for so long that even when it’s wrong, it feels sort of right. When I strive for goals that seem like they should be mine and then feel hollow when I achieve them, what is that? Developing this self-perspective and understanding and trust of my feelings is daunting.

I am at a precipice, a crossroads of self-development. I have a set of goals to achieve that I think I want, or that I think I should want. And in the light of all the promise and achievement, I think I should be experiencing, my life is a failure. Except, I don’t think that. And yet I do continue to think I need to do certain things to claim legitimization. So it devalues my now and makes the future better than my now?

How Do you Tell the Difference? on shalavee.com

I would like to try to accomplish all these things that I think I should so I can stop feeling like I’m being held hostage. I have proven recently that I can do many hard things. And I also know that learning what I don’t want to do is just as important as knowing what you do. And discovering that what you’ve been putting of is easy unnerving but sill satisfying.

I guess the only way to tell the difference between authentic want and doing it for the shoulds is to do it all and see how it feels? I feel my hope springs eternal, my compassion rounds me out and brings me home to face myself again. I hope this year I lead myself into a place that will bring me joy and not shame. And feel proud of the risk it took to shoe through

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Spread Your Humanity

I like you because you are uniquely you. Your opinions and anecdotes are from your own life’s experiences. No one else has the perspective you have on life. Being weird is good.

I realize that the same applies to me. All the little things that I think are “wrong” with me are the things that make me uniquely me. My humanity is nothing to be ashamed of. It is the very thing that we have in common.

Share your humanity on Shalavee.com

I’d like to encourage everyone to share your humanity today with someone else, a loved one or even me. Give them something real, something from your heart and see what happens. Respect your strong and tender inner person and let them know they are not alone either.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Waiting for the Grump to Leave so I Could Live

This past weekend, we had an impromptu birthday potluck supper at my house. I spent Saturday afternoon exchanging my living room with my dining room and did all the rearranging my heart desired. But it took a good couple of hours for the cleaning and decorating therapy to kick in and cure me of a sour mood I seemed to be in. I wasn’t dreading my birthday, in fact I was looking very forward to all the festivities.Waiting for the Grump to Leave so I Could Live on Shalavee.com

I realized the next day that my inner people had held their breath until the grumpy bitch finally packed up her things and left. Our inner children only want to play and be happy. They could care less if the couches were cat hair free or the chair wobbled, they just wanted to be with friends. Our inner adults have way too many stipulations sometimes about how things have to be perfectly done.

Sometimes we steel ourselves against joy. We think that we’ll save ourselves heartbreak by not creating situations to look forward to and thus be devastated by disappointment. But you must play the odds to win. If you don’t put enough umph into shooting all the way to the hole, you’ll miss the birdy my husband says.Waiting for the Grump to Leave so I Could Live on Shalavee.com

So here’s to getting out of your own way and allowing for gleeful opportunities to arise. To putting your best effort into your life and home that you be proud of yourself when people do visit. And to keeping the door open for joy, always joy.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

How Instagram Helped Cure Me of Anxiety

I love to connect with like-minded creative women on Instagram. This format of Social media (also known as a platform) became my preferred online social interaction as I was trying to build an audience for my blog. I very hesitantly joined communities and challenges and slowly started to poke my head out of my fear shell. And I credit Instagram and creativity for curing me of my anxieties.

I’d never experienced community and was completely unsure of what it meant and how I was supposed to do it. I just knew that being witnessed by these wonder women from inside their hearts was the greatest gift ever. I watched and I listened as they showed me what vulnerability looked like and what it gives you. And my intuition told me that, despite what everyone said about social media, there was something really good going on here.How Instagram Helped Cure Me of Anxiety on Shalavee.com

We humans want to be accepted by our tribe as who we truly are. It is our deepest desire to have our authentic selves seen. At the same time, we are afraid of rejection and judgment as this could mean ostracization and either physical death or shame and the death of our spirit. This is primal fear stuff that we aren’t truly aware of but have discerned from the teachings of our pack and our world.

So here we are, the loveliest ladies on Instagram and we’re feeling the swellness of being witnessed and the rawness of risking being judged. We have two choices at all times. We can either choose to fit-in, twist ourselves into the likeness of those around us as to guarantee we will be accepted. Or we can choose to be vulnerable and authentic and watch as people love us for who we are. Because this is our hearts desire and this requires faith and letting go.How Instagram Helped Cure Me of Anxiety on Shalavee.com

I know that when I act inauthentically and try to make people like me, I lose trust in them and myself. I know they aren’t really liking me but a false image I am manipulating. And I don’t trust myself even for thinking so little of me that I am unworthy of being seen. It’s a sticky wicked if ever there was one. And the only cure for this fear quagmire is to just be authentically you.

I heard a woman ask today if her lack of confidence and boldness in posting truths about herself on Instagram recently was about her expectations of what it would bring or fear of being judged. And I replied that we all had that feeling at some point. But there will be that one moment when we post something raw and real about ourselves and that one stranger responds, “Thank You” because they felt inspired and courageous to be authentic as well. And that is the faith that keeps me being vulnerable and witnessing everyone online. It is the blessing, the superpower, that we can give on each other and it’s totally completely free.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Choose to Not Choose is Still a Choice

She rather vehemently insisted that there are no choices. Thank you very little, she understands the concept of “everything is a choice”, just not for her. She’s resigned to that comfortable hell of nothing changes because perhaps it is too overwhelming to consider those other choices. To allow for change would be to admit that had always been a choice perhaps? The march of the musts is way more familiar. And maybe familiar trumps joy? At some cellular level, joy is just another hell. It is painfully unfamiliar. Why want something that we’d have to take on faith that it even exists?Choose to Not Choose is Still a Choice on Shalavee.com

This is why dear friend. Because every inner child longs for joy, knows they are entitled by birthright to it, and believes that it is all it’s cracked up to be. And there isn’t any child that is more unworthy of joy than another. No baby ever sinned to deserve a life of self-abandonment and torment.

So the choice is yours to not choose. But when you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.And if what you’re doing isn’t working, try something else less painful. Your child inside is waiting for you to change your mind.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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