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The Year of Doing

This year was about doing. Saying I can because I did. And if I did, what else could I do? Because all the talking in the world doesn’t get it done.

You can certainly plan out your steps. In fact that’s a great way to prepare to get it done. Pro-activity is always a plus. But getting it done turns out to be just you taking the time to do the work.

My fear threatened to take me off the right track on these occasions when I went in for the work kill. There was a chorus of cants. I would just let them blow by me like the hot air that they were. Step away and set the time to return. And then I returned.The Year of Doing on Shalavee.com

There’s power in making your intentions into actions. As I pondered all of this here, I noted there’s power even in the tiniest tasks.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face, you are able to say to yourself, I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

This is an amazing realization to know you have the power to change your whole outlook by mastering something and proving you can. I am pleased to have learned it and perhaps a little scared that I will never ever be able to say I can’t again. So I guess I’ll just have to keep seeing that I Can.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

With No Definition of Success Or Enough, You’re a Hamster on a Wheel

I once read that you won’t know if you have succeeded if you don’t have a picture of what success looks like. I found that profound and daunting as I wasn’t allowed to succeed so I’d be unable to come up with that. I can also see now that having no definition of enough would wear one out in a never-ending pursuit of it. The proverbial hamster’s treadmill of running and never getting there. Yet aren’t these two words the hinge pin for American success?With No Definition of Success Or Enough, You're a Hamster on a Wheel on Shalavee.com

They used to call me the Energizer Bunny because I was perpetually busy. Some think I’m still this way. I kept busy so no one would notice I had no idea what I was doing. Would I now know Success and Enough if they walked up and smacked me in the face? I’m sure they’ve tried. Low self-esteem and a Puritan work ethic kept me from my clarity.

Now that I have a dawning awareness of what makes me happy and how much I can actually accomplish, I am reverent and wary of success and enough. I feel successful in many many ways. Having sweet smart healthy independent children feels like success to me. Being in process of advancing my writing career and beginning to lead others to their creative passions feels like a success.With No Definition of Success Or Enough, You're a Hamster on a Wheel on Shalavee.com

But what of enough? Sure you know how much it takes to feed and house and clothe you and your family every year. And the costs for trips and art and music supplies and to celebrate your birthdays and go to the doctor’s. But what about savings and house repairs? There’ll never be enough of those. Or will whatever you have always be enough?

These are questions only you can answer but I think it’s also important to answer them. Because while you feel super dandy working all of those hours to make the money for your family, if you can’t spend time with that family then what’s the point? Covering the bills can be enough until such time comes as you can save. It’s up to each of us to be willing to take the knife away from our throats long enough to see what is really important. Because when tomorrow comes, you will have to sleep with your regrets regardless of your good intentions. My priorities have light brown and red hair and like to play video games and sing. How about yours?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Seven Methods to Help Develop Self-Trust

I believe that the key to vanquishing our anxieties is in developing our self-trust. We are fearful of everything as long as we don’t think we have what it takes to make the decisions we need to make daily. We have trip anxiety and agoraphobia because we fear we can’t handle what’s next, even if we’ve proven ourselves capable countless times before.

I am busy tweaking my self-trust through my intentional creativity. And I would like very much to get to a point where I not only trust myself, but value and revere what I have to offer. In thinking about what conscious creativity has given me, I discovered there were more ways to achieve self-trust. So here’s a little cheat sheet on the subject. Try just one and see if you feel a little more reliable.Seven Methods to Help Develop Self-Trust  on Shalavee.com

—How to Develop Self-Trust—

Creativity– Allow yourself to listen to your intuition / inner guide and act on what you hear. Intuit more of your day and see where it leads you. Practice a daily creative practice for a week of a month and see what that feels like.Read more about creativity and self-trust here.

Self-Parenting and Leading – Being a better self-parent and supporting your inner child with boundaries and creative time or deadlines. Finding out that your word is true makes you more reliable to yourself and others. Read more about self-parenting here and here.

Goal Setting – To set a goal and follow through with it. You keep returning and you keep your word to yourself, something that you may not have had as a child.

Boundaries – Imposition of boundaries for yourself or abstinence from behavior that is self-destructive or is taking you away from being your truest you. You prove your fer was wrong when it said you would die if you stopped this behavior.

Indulge in play – Sometimes having fun can be the best answer to shake you up. If you keep treating yourself like a work horse and never lighten up, you may not gain any perspective on the truth of who you are and how you are already enough. Trust in your ability to get it done and have fun.Seven Methods to Help Develop Self-Trust  on Shalavee.com

Trustworthy people – Surround yourself with trustworthy folks who give good advice and live what they preach. They will inspire you and guide you. They show you your value by being in your life too.

Credit and Rewards – Giving yourself credit and rewards when you’ve completed the goals you set out to achieve is something I’ve begun to value. A family celebration or treating yourself to the movies tells you that you are proud of yourself and tethers the self-trust a little more.

I felt like I had searched so long for the esteem that I was missing and ended up bumping my head hard on the concept of self-trust as the number one cause of my anxieties. I want to share this wealth of understanding with anyone who needs it. My ahas have been gifted to me by other kind people sharing their stories of change and I find nothing is more important than the relationship I have with myself. To be supportive and kind instead of belittling and cruel is to begin to create self-trust that fuels my next joyful project.

What have you done that you noticed equated into immediate self-trust? Is there anything that I’ve missed in my list of self-trust creating actions?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

My Choice and My Recipe for Happiness

My Happiness is mine to choose. And as overwhelming as that seems in choosing what that looks like, I’d rather the chance to vote. So I’ve embarked to rewrite my life script and reprogram my thoughts about me and my life that apparently hadn’t been working for me for a long time. They didn’t have a plan for me. I had to make one up for myself.

It never occurred to me that I could choose happiness. I’d lived so long in misery by rules I assumed governed me, I saw no other choices. But there were so many choices I hadn’t allowed myself to make. Because I didn’t believe I had the worth and value to deserve happiness. If I were destined for that, I’d certainly have had a happy childhood. My fate was sealed in doom.My Choice and My Recipe for Happiness on Shalavee.com

Imagine my horror when I realized that I had a choice my whole life and I hadn’t let myself choose anything but misery. When I realized I had never committed any horrible crime worthy of serving this miserable life sentence I seemed to be serving. And when I saw that the unhappy low esteemed children we were made life assumptions that we continued to apply long past their expiration dates.

One by one I addressed the false truths I lived by and quelled my anxieties. I reached out from my isolation slowly and asked people I’d never met before to support me. And they did. I discovered that if I kept my eye on what I wanted, what made me happy, what I was thinking, I made better stronger clearer choices that aligned with my values and made me happy. And that my plan for me was like the recipe I’d always knew how to make but had never tried. This is me trying and sharing what I’m learning with you.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

How I Survived the Speech

So I signed up to give a talk on the Inverse Relationship Between Creativity and Anxiety at my UU church this month. One of my learned life hacks is that if I need to do something, I just need to give my word to someone and I’ll do it. (I told one person I would sing an acapella song I had written at my wedding and so I did it. )And this public speech I gave was just a means to getting me to pen my theory.

I needed to get myself through it. I knew it wasn’t going to be perfect, ever, but I needed to do it anyway. And so I stopped and wrote these:

Reasons that I Need Not Feel Afraid to do This Speech

  • Once I say it out loud, I’ll have heard myself say it out loud
  • It will give substance, validity to my thoughts and my theory itself
  • I am being visible and vulnerable for all the women who don’t feel they can
  • I am a role model, a leader, and an ambassador to creativity
  • The words I have written are well said, no matter how I rearrange them and edited them

Plus the fact that the following day, I was scheduled for a slightly scary medical procedure involving multiple needles in my backside. So it couldn’t top that for ouchiness.How I Survived the Speech on shalavee.com

So that when I went in to give the speech, I just smiled a lot. And I sped up like we all do when giving a speech. Worse yet, someone asked me to slow down. Yikes. But I still felt whole for having gotten there and delivered my thoughts. I was grateful for the opportunity to advance my theory.

Sometimes the Thing isn’t really the thing. We have to be smart and brave enough to get through the scary moments so that we can celebrate the bigger wins later. Because courage is being afraid and doing it anyway, proving you can, and finding out you won’t die in the process.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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