search
top
Currently Browsing: Ahas

Practicing Compassion like God

I was truly inspired after I listened to a podcast recently from the unbelievably smart Sas Pethrick. It was the 30th episode of her podcast called Courage and Spice and she interviewed Jane Reeves, author of a book I recently bought on practicing Loving Kindness (aka Compassion) titled A Heart of Gold. The reason I originally got the book? Because I have come to believe that the only way out of the self-torment and judgment cycle I’ve been subjecting myself to for the greater part of my life is to practice self-compassion. And these two ladies know it too.

Their conversation was one of those deep kind that gives me goosebumps and ahas every couple of minutes. There are more nuances to being mindful and kind to yourself than you would think. For instance, to be a good friend to yourself as well as anyone else, sometimes all you need to do is just be present. No questions or comments. No fix-it suggestions or “it’ll be ok, you’ll see”s. Just being a compassionate witness is ll that’s required. And that if we can not show up and be present for ourselves, we certainly aren’t available for others.Practicing Compassion like God on Shalave.com

That kind of reflection of worthiness and worth isn’t easy to come up with for ourselves. But, as Jane and Sas spoke about imagining a grandparent or a beloved person witnessing you and being there, I realized that is what people ask their God to be: a kind gentle powerful reflection of the light of their worth. That is a gift faith gives you, self-love and self-acceptance. Compassion for your humanity. We’re coming from a deficit and need a little help.

Another thought that these two women brought up was that we intellectually know that as human beings, we will always suffer. But we keep hoping we can avoid this pain somehow. And this avoidance looks a lot like over-eating, over-drinking, over-shopping, etc. But if we were to concede to our humanity and know we’ll be able to get through the inevitable pain by just being here with ourselves until it passes, we could have such a better time of it all.Practicing Compassion like God on Shalave.com

But God already knew that compassion is key.

What if you didn’t have to fix it all but just had to be present with the pain until it subsided and it all felt slightly better to make the next choice? How would you view change? It would be a little easier wouldn’t it.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Ignore Your Brain, Feel Your Feels

This week, I had a really bad spell of the feels. I finished up my creativity workshop and instead of feeling that amazing “I did it” feeling, I felt like an impostor. Who was I to think I had anything to say about creativity? And then, why did I put myself in this jeopardy? And PS, this is the same doubt spell I had at the end of my creativity/anxiety sermon I gave at my church.

So I rolled around for a day feeling really crappy. Letting all the silly mean stuff rip around in my head. Grieving the marvelous feelings I was supposed to feel in conjunction with doing activities that are directly related to my perceived purpose. My inner daughter was mad at me for not keeping her safe from all the judgment she was sure she had coming her way from me and everyone who witnessed my outright failure. And me infuriated by the fact that all the apparent work I have done on my esteem doesn’t add up to a hill of beans.Ignore Your brains, feel your

I went online to publicly claim my intentions to go see my doctor about anti-anxiety meds. And to hopefully claim my wobbliness in the hopes that someone else would find permission for themselves to do the same. I am glad I heard my heart tell me that I need something else other than I am doing to get me beyond. And I am keeping my brain in a time out for overacting in such a way.

But the most interesting postlude is the way my community came out to witness me. Many people truly wanted to provide the fix. Could it be lack of light or menopause? I had beautiful offers to talk and I informed everyone that have a therapy appointment coming soon. Because again the most traumatizing part of this whole thing is that I’ve done so very much work, why do I have to endure these episodes anymore?Ignore Your brains, feel your

In the end, I find out that there a lot of people who care about me and I do not take that lightly. It’s hard to be accountable to so many people so I am just going to be accountable to myself but I hope that, at some point, I can see what everyone sees in me. Because I think that would help tremendously in keeping this kind of thing from happening in the future. Or perhaps not but I like to think there’s a solution. Acceptance, compassion, and love from me to you to me again.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Why I’m OK Teaching a Creativity Workshop

If I had a dime for every time I heard, “Oh Shalagh you are so creative”, I’d at least have five bucks. This became one of those phrases that made me twitch perhaps because I didn’t think of myself as having any kind of creative superpowers which was obvious to them but not to me, until it finally was. I think perhaps what they meant was they wished they knew the secret creative permission spell too.Why I'm OK Teaching a Creativity Workshop on Shalavee.com

Fast forward to the past several years when I intentionally indulged myself in creative challenges to gain creative confidence. I followed many of my creative curiosities until I finally owned that I was an Uber-creative. And I am beginning to understand that I believe in creative living aka Creativism as a way of life, one that is at odds with the consume and destroy mode of existence I see all too much of.

So if there is a purpose to my life, one of the facets seems to be sharing my creativity with others so that they too have permission to create.  To this end, I am offering a creativity workshop locally this Fall because I believe that everyone can benefit, and perhaps heal, from increased creativity in their lives.Why I'm OK Teaching a Creativity Workshop on Shalavee.com

Each of us looks to understand ourselves based on our interaction with the world. The advertising propaganda would have us believe conformity and possession would be our best safe bet to easy existence. But in fact, we crave to understand our uniqueness through our interactions. We long to be carefree, to be unique and yet connected to our community at the same time. We want self-confidence that comes from owning our own uniqueness and perspective. Not only are these human needs, they are only a few of the many benefits of creativity.

Somehow, as we become older, we conform to the idea that creativity will get us outcast from the tribe. That we need to focus only on the earning of money and security for our family. My hope is that by opening up a conversation with people, and consequently they with themselves, the tantalizing benefits will begin to tickle people slightly out of their fear zones so that they may try creativity in small bursts in their lives. A little creativity in one’s life is better than none. And the money people can save by ceasing to try to find themselves by spending rather than creating will make it an even more enticing proposition.Why I'm OK Teaching a Creativity Workshop on Shalavee.com

My final realization is that I don’t have to be a “professional” artist to legitimize my knowledge and experience around creativity. I can be a small “a” artist. I only need to acknowledge that I am creative and share what I feel and know to be my truth around this process as it relates to my growth and development as a more rounded human being. I can honestly say that the permission I have given myself to create has created a better happier more confident me. And that is a completely good thing.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

Save

Save

My Body Myself

I had a not so nice moment with my body in a dressing room recently. I said in this Instagram post,

“I went shopping today. Put my body in front of mirrors. It was quite soul crushing. I’m reeling with the hangover of my 52-year-old body.”

This mental place of self-hatred is a familiar abode for me. I’ve spent more time in my life disliking my body than liking it. Gladly, I bought clothing afterwards that I liked the way it fit and looked on my body. And that was what I packed for my vacation. I did more shopping while I was away and suddenly, I have discovered graciousness, compassion, and comfort are my current needs.my body self on Shalavee.com

I shopped for pieces that were elegant, well-fitting, and comfortable. And I am finding this shift comforting. To stop fighting and to accept where I am is living. At the same time, I am also thinking I may rejoin weight watchers for a limited amount of time and give a few exercise classes a try that I have been shy to join. Because when you do even the littlest thing towards a goal, even though there is no change, you feel immensely better for being in process.my body self on Shalavee.com

Because truthfully, you’ll never move on if you can’t accept where you are. All together, that looks like doing my best at being dressed comfortably and abstaining from the judgment of my worth as a plump 52-year-old. And then setting some intentions to tone and increase my stamina in my body so I can feel strong and powerful inside my body, proud of who I am.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Focus is My New Word of the Year for 2019

Last year, I chose the word Trust as my word of the year for 2018. I wanted to trust the world, my process, and myself. But I’ve found that just because I want something to be a certain way doesn’t mean that I am inspired by telling myself it has to be that way. In fact, I’ve found that it can work quite the opposite way for me. If you tell me to do it, I’m not necessarily going to do it. Our inner punks are like that.

So the well meant word of the year didn’t inspire me to trust myself anymore. I think I just didn’t know how to weave it’s lesson into my world well enough yet. At one point I flat out forgot what the word was even after I had used it to prompt my ICAD art. Again, fear can make you forgetful when it wants to keep you safe.Focus if my word of the year for 2019 on Shalavee.com

So I took a walk this morning, just as I had on the day I chose Trust, and had a dialogue with myself about what I might want my word to be for the upcoming year. And after much debate and many bantered about words including Permit and Create, I decided on Focus.

I absolutely know that when I focus, stuff happens. It seems the operative word for Proactivity. I am capable of doing great things. I have come to understand that once I allow myself to focus, these great things happen. The reason they don’t happen is not a lack of ability on my part but a fear based lack of focus that makes it look like I can’t. Aha!

Focus looks like designated time for my tasks, scheduling even small stuff so that I feel the momentum and the certainty that “I can”. Focus looks like sitting down with a task and working through the fear-storm. Focus looks like ridding myself of all obligations and distractions to hedge my bets for success.Focus if my word of the year for 2019 on Shalavee.com

And of course, focus rhymes with hocus and pocus and I kinda like that concept especially at this time of the year. Perhaps there’s a little magic in the word focus after all.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

« Previous Entries

top