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The Hurry, Scurry, and Worry

I became so tired of the hurry, scurry, and worry. As I read blog posts and Instagram posts about how people had experienced adrenal gland burn out from all the anxiety juice they were pumping into their bodies, I understood even more my own addiction to Doing.

In my case, the anxiety manifested into stomach problems. As a child, I had stomach aches. As a college student, I had gastritis which was one step away from an ulcer. And when I had my children I would devlop a pain in my stomach that went straight back to my rib cage. My anxieties were physically manifesting right where Virgos are known to be vulnerable: in my gut. Gradually I caught on that taking Zantac quelled the acid, but two Christmases ago, my stomach was so ouchy that I couldn’t drink red wine or eat tomato sauce.

The Hurry, Worry, and Scurry on Shalavee.com

Flash forward to this November when a stressful October and a November emotional episode led me to ask for medicine to alleviate my anxieties. The sky opened up for me.

I slowly began to notice that anything I said I couldn’t do made me anxious at the anticipated outcome of failure. And when I just did my best and let life happen, I was much more calmer. I’ve stayed very easy going and worry free as much as possible. I avoid making lists but rather just make the effort to do the things I need to get done. I’m 100 times less neurotic.

The Hurry, Worry, and Scurry on Shalavee.com

This morning, I am looking at a day that seems to yawn time in front of me, although I also know that the time is finite and will come crashing down around my shoulders at 3:30 when the bus returns my daughter. And I feel completely happy and lucky that I am not in a frenzied hurry to scurry mode doing all the things I never used to give myself credit for. I give myself a ton of credit now. And I want to credit a lot of this claim and productivity to the regular art practice of the ICAD project last year and the
100 day project last and this year. What is meant to get done today will get done today. And there is a bunch more tomorrows to embrace hopefully.

How to gain self trust has been of the truest interest to me. See this article for the list of top methods of building self-trust.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Permission to Be A Changed You

I was reminded of, or perhaps gifted, a thought today by a wise online connection, Anna Lovind. She said, “I am the person who is allowed to change. I don’t owe anyone consistency. I don’t need to be faithful to what I used to be (unless I want to).”

We owe no one, not even ourselves any explanations of who we are and what we are choosing and how we are acting and how we are changing. Change is hard enough as it is without throwing it on the mercy of the acceptance of others. Being human means we can decide to be someone different everyday we wake.

I just thought you may be able to use this permission this week. Some of us have tough inner critics. Some of us have tough outer critics as well.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Courage to Create

Our windows are open. I’ve been laying awake n the morning listening to the birdsong. All different types of birds adding their unique love of life to the world. No need for permission to sing or be. Just singing and being.

Collaging daily is coming easier fore this year’s 100 day project. It feels easy to just create. A dozen days in and I do not care what the pieces look like. I am only happy to engage in the process and just be creating.

Courage to create on Shalavee.com

“Remember that in choosing to create you have acted with a rare courage. You have let down the mask; you have called forth your best self; you have taken a chance and revealed your heart to the world. This, no matter how struggling and unformed the creation it brings forth, is a praiseworthy act. For all creation is an act of love, and in the merest making of your art you have, in your own small way, made the world a little richer, a little warmer, and a little more filled with love.”


Kent Nerburn – Dancing with the Gods (thanks to Tara Leaver for quoting)

Anything that you do daily becomes not only habitual but ritual. There’s a sense of purposeful clarity on our daily promises to ourselves. Remove the negotiation and the act becomes a prayer for a better life. There is nothing more noble that a commitment to ones happiness.

Courage to create on Shalavee.com

Happy to have you with me on my journey as I let down my mask …

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Re-Being Me

I struggle with being myself. I have spent a lifetime trying to be the right me. “Just be yourself” confuses me. All the efforts to restore myself or find my way back are a nice concept but I don’t know if I ever felt 100 % safe to just to be me. I am working at re-being the me I was intended to be.

Ten years ago, I had a therapist tell me I had low self-esteem. I flew into bits because that was not who I thought I was. Except I realized she was right. Who I thought I was wasn’t who I really was.

And then this past November, I again hit a bump in the road that dumped me and the contents of my self-perception cart out onto the street and I feel like I am still picking myself up. Still deciding which bits are me and which I need to leave behind.

Re-Being Me on Shalavee.com

Perhaps we all go through this perpetual reconsideration of self. I somehow think many people just know who they are. I envy them. But I am in the process of fighting to find my footing when it comes to knowing who I am. I am not ashamed of this. It is all a very human process. And if anything I have shared helps you to give yourself permission to just not know, then I feel even better about my confusion.

I do know that I am inspired when I read my stories and hear others’ stories. Freedom from getting it right is in the letting it be.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Our Drums

I realize that recently, I’ve been holding on and out, holding my breath for a shift. It’s as if I’m perpetually hoping for “the shift”. The change of perspective and vision for my future, my purpose, my calling. Like waiting for an appearance from God, I want to hear the beat of my drums. Waiting for the inspired high sign that I’ve got this.

I see all the people who are banging their drums to their own beat. They believe in their insights, in their truths, and in their paths for which they’ve got a trick , a solution to life. They’ve discovered something that sets them on fire. That makes them want to get up and go everyday And I want that too.

our drums on Shalavee.com

I am holding an open channel for that beat but I still don’t feel like it has happened. I’ve had countless epiphanies in my life but none I feel that have been earth shaking. Realizations that say, start here with this amazingness. Spread THIS out to people. Or even, “fake this until you make this”.

So I sit back and I await my inspiration. I expect to be legitimized any day by a sight I had yet to see. Until then, I await the shazam moment and cross my fingers that I might be blessed with it today.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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