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Do You Rage or Resign Yourself ?

Have you ever found yourself frustrated because you have a chore to do and you just don’t feel like doing it? It’s too hot to take the trash out. There’s dishes piled in the sink and it’s late. My feet are dirty and I’m too tired for a bath. There’s nothing to eat in the house but the thought of take out food turns your stomach?

When things smack of effort, we can feel resentful, angry even. We don’t feel like it. But what we are also inadvertently saying is that we aren’t worth the effort.

Life takes so much effort. Other than the automatic tasks our body maintains for us to live like breathing, everything else we do takes effort to achieve. We are perpetually choosing the next task. We are obtaining, feeding, needing, and achieving from the moment we wake until we pass out.

About a year ago or so, I realized that in order to respect myself, I needed to just get somethings done without thinking about my resentment of them. Because the more you stew and feel resentment about necessary chores, the harder life is. Sometimes you just need to let the chores be neutral and look forward to what’s beyond them.

A good friend said she thinks about what she’ll make for dinner while she’s in the exercise class. Focusing on anything that you can look forward to, or masterminding something to look forward to, can make the most mundane task feel easier and go more quickly.

My kids have chores that they need to do daily because that’s how our house runs smoothly and we get to focus on doing fun things together like playing Yatzee or watching movies. I want them to learn to get beyond the necessary and spend time imagining the possibilities. I want them to be able to respect the care that they take for themselves and their future families. And I have to lead by example.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Who Do You I Think I Am Vs. Who Do I Believe Myself to Be

Why is there a presumed challenge in the question, “who do you think you are”? As if anyone is ever entitled to question your opinion of yourself other than you. Perhaps only people who don’t know who they are ask this question in a way that suggests you are less.

But I am thinking more and more this month about who I believe myself to be. My definition in me which leads to who I believe myself to be. And it perpetually occurs to me that who I think I am is a lot less than who you think I am. And that it may be possible to increase my understanding of me and thus believe myself to be more.

who do you think you are vs. Who do you believe yourself to be on Shalavee.com

I want to know myself well enough and give myself credit that I am more…

confident

creative

charismatic

kind

open

welcoming

authentic

unique

eloquent

trustworthy

elegant

brave

…than I believe I am. I want to be a glass fuller. This is a wish my heart makes which only I can make come true.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Sumptuous Summer Time

I never sleep in. Until Summer. This Sunday morning, I was so languorous in bed, my ear hurt from laying on it. And after I rose and descended the stairs for my first cup of coffee, there were no children demanding things of me. Luxurious sumptuous Summer Time. Remembering my creative soul life.

Sumptuous Summer Time on Shalavee.com

I made a loving breakfast of last chance potatoes, mushrooms, eggs, and thyme from my porch garden. And now I sit listening to the Sleepy Hollow radio program on WXPN with my daughter arting on the floor with her markers coloring seascapes. My hand resting on a furry friend on the back of the couch, feet up on a stool, and the whoosh of cool air from the air vent keeping the tickle of sweat from blooming. Lukewarm coffee still in my cup as I make kind comments on Instagram.

Summer expands in the moment when you stop to feel it. Appreciation of where you are always makes everything feel shinier. Hope is worth the effort to stop and feel it.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Give Yourself a Place To Be Seen

I am such a human beast most of the time. I react without thinking and overthink situations without acting . I crave to be acknowledged and fear being seen. I spend more than enough time alone in my head. But what I do know is that we humans are naturally pack animals. And as women, we need the intimacy afforded us in these groups like we need water.

I’ve been inspired by many women in real life and online who have brought this need to my attention. Whether we were playing bridge or washing our clothing at the watering hole or hanging out in the bleeding hut together, we need the camaraderie and the connection that gathering gives us.

Give Yourself a Place To Be Seen on Shalavee.com

Being witnessed in your moment of feeling however you feel is a glorious feeling and needs to be something we give ourselves. We need to he heard and seen and acknowledged by others and by ourselves as well. The witnessing makes us whole in a way that nothing else can.

So I encourage you to find a way, or many ways, in which you are seen. For me that was through my blog and Instagram. It was by organizing a group of women I respected to meet-up in real life and say real things to one another. It has been to write from my authentic voice and publish it every week and allow people to read and feel what they want.

Many of us have been such harsh critics to ourselves for so long, we no longer recognize our isolation. I urge everyone to give themselves permission to share themselves with other people. Have real conversations and talk about ideas you are interested in. Surprise yourself by allowing connection and vulnerability and tell me what happens please.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

My Herstory of Unwanted Advances

What’s the official name for an uninvited unwanted advance? Those occasions when men have ungraciously invaded our personal spaces to “offer’ their manliness to us. Situations that put we women into a victim role warding off hands or words of a sexual aggressive nature? Yeah the incidents we’ve accepted as just part of womanhood.

I’ve had more than several of those. I just didn’t give the advances or my distaste for their memory any credence. But they’re still there lurking about testifying to a world that victimizes young women. The world where personal boundaries are optional.

There was that time when the well known local television anchorman cornered my twenty year old self in a dead end hallway of the under construction television station. I was a beautiful young intern. He was a lascivious veteran of trapping young beautiful interns.

There was the time when my great uncle tried to grope my teenage body in the local Missouri swimming hole. I think I told him to get his hands off me old man. That did the trick.

My Herstory of Unwanted Advances on Shalavee.com

There was the time my boyfriend’s father tried to give me a back massage, aka feel me up. I was 19 and upon telling my boyfriend this, he exclaimed there was no possible way his father could have done that since that man had almost become a priest.

There was the time that my ex-husband wanted to put his fingers in places I was uncomfortable with.

There was that time when I had split from that husband and my male co-worker wanted to offer his manly services to me if I ever felt lonely.

That’s probably enough to prove my unwanted advance track record? I have endured and stuffed these many occurrences, as many man women do, with the hope that my daughter will be savvier as well as live in a world less tolerant of this. In fact, I want to shout with my new loud voice, do this to my daughters and die. We never ask for the attention so why should I or she ever have to deal with it again? Although I also am reminded, I am never a victim unless I want to claim that title.

And I want to note my hope that our male partners will stand with us for these and so many more issues that separate us and diminish our power. Awareness is something we build together and a collective intolerance is change I support.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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