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You Are Not Alone So Find Your Clan and Prove it

There is a noble suffering thing that we seem to do as humans. We freak out when things start to go wrong but somehow we’re convinced that we are the only ones. First time business owners, first time menstruating teenagers, first time Moms, and first time submitting writers all have first time doubts that they feel single them out. Male or female, it feels so personal, scary, and devastating.

Somehow in this world of drive-throughs and Amazon, we’ve forgotten that we are still a group of people. That community being the family household, the neighborhood, the school, the work organization, or the clan that you choose, we are never actually alone. Unless we choose to be.

So what would it take for us to stop being so painfully unique with our problems and reach out? What do we need to know in order to –Boom- alleviate ourselves of our painful personal destinies and share them with one person who would say, “I get it, me too” ?

Ironically, I found a community online when I decided to come out of my shell and be authentic. And then I reached out and made a group within my home community of like-minded women. Being witnessed is some powerful stuff but I had to be willing to be authentic and vulnerable to enjoy the benefits.

Fear is only trying to protect you but it has us making stupid choices and one of those is that you are supposed to keep quiet about your pain. So let’s all just make a promise that we will reach out instead and find at least one person who knows what we are afraid of so that we came feel less afraid. And then find another and another and make a clan of people you can trust whenever anyone feels that again.

That is community living at it’s finest and it is how we will heal ourselves and the world. Within a place where the sum of the parts is a great source of compassion for the the individual. Amen.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Oh Universe, What Would You Have Me Do?

We mistrust ourselves so much, we have to hand much of our decision making over to another power. We create elaborate ways to make decisions. Drop a divining line down and see which way it swings to decide (dowsing pendulum). Pick your arm up and drop it to see if you should eat it (applied kinesiology). Because it’s awfully hard admitting that you have no faith in your own decisions and easier to give it over to something else. The exception being God. But most of us are faithless and frenetic.

The Drowning man story is the best story ever which humorlessly depicts how our lack of sight and faith keeps us from seeing the divine signs sent to us.

A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.

Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, “Jump in, I can save you.”

The stranded fellow shouted back, “No, it’s OK, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me.”

So the rowboat went on.

Then a motorboat came by. “The fellow in the motorboat shouted, “Jump in, I can save you.”

To this the stranded man said, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”

So the motorboat went on.

Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, “Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety.”

To this the stranded man again replied, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”

So the helicopter reluctantly flew away.

Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, “I had faith in you but you didn’t save me, you let me drown. I don’t understand why!”

To this God replied, “I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?”

We are given so much and yet our brains don’t see what we’ve got but rather focus on what we don’t have.

Meditation and yoga are ways to reach our larger calmer parental minds, the voices we could trust to make decisions for us. But these processes are not a “one time and done” kinda thing. They require discipline and time and pain. Modern Americans have no time for any of these. And in essence, were not really worth it.Oh Universe, What Would You Have Me Do?

The beautiful thing about being young is that you are told what to do. You resent every little syllable you had to obey but when you find yourself without the direction, you may end up asking the Universe what it may want of you? And it may be super hard to find that first answer. But that is where I am right now.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Listening to My Inner Truth

Our family just went to see Toy Story 4 recently in which Buzz Lightyear learns from Woody that listening to his inner voice will help him make the best life choices. And so throughout the rest of the movie, he’d yank on his pull string and interpret his “inner voice” to guide him. It was brilliant.

Call it inner voice or intuition, people tend to get their Intuition mixed up with their Should Managers. I’ve done this repeatedly and it always gets me in trouble. Instead of listening to what will nourish my heart and soul, I make a choice that either puts me out in the wide open, too vulnerable and uncertain about what to do next. Or I stay in hiding and think I can’t start at all until it’s “safe” and I know everything. Leading with the head instead of the heart gets you in trouble.

What I do know is that if I pull it all back and ask myself what my truthful purpose in life is, I get an answer that seems so me, I relax. I asked today and I heard, “To facilitate community, communication, self-awareness, and support creativity for myself and others in a way that makes a difference.” Truth.Listening to Your Inner Truth on Shalavee.com

The trick is to make sure that every choice I make feels like I’m promoting that. Ask every time I choose to push forward, is this supporting my growth of myself, my community, and my opportunities to live creatively? If the answer is maybe, I need to stop and consider all the marvelous possibilities that I may be squelching by either not going through with it or pushing through.

I have been holding myself back for a long long time. I have listened to myself countless times asking to expand. And I have shut that down so many times saying it’s better if I just keep safe and keep treading water. Even my Intuition is onto this now. The best time to start over is always right now. As the seasons change, I feel a internal change coming too and a need for a new story to emerge. Do you feel this way too in Spring and Fall ?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Co-creating with my Family

You know that I’m all about creativity. I’ve been described as an ambassador to creativity. Putting a slice of yourself into the world is affirming in the most wonderful ways. And I also believe that community creativity is a sure fire way to join people together.Co-creating with my Family on Shalavee.com

My family is regularly subjected to family art projects by me. In the Fall, group pumpkin carving is mandatory. We go out and pick our pumpkins and one night before Halloween, we sit at the kitchen table, draw out our jack-o-lantern faces, scoop out, and carve our pumpkins together. Then have dinner and watch a favorite scary movie with the jack-o-lanterns lit up on the bookshelf in front of us.Co-creating with my Family on Shalavee.com

At Easter, we all dye Easter eggs together. I make sure I have the eggs cooked and we all try different techniques like tye dying and rubber bands and drippy eggs. Our fingers get dark with dyes and we chatter and say”look at this” and there is a palpable feeling of pride in creation. It makes us feel good to create and we feel good together while we do it.Co-creating with my Family on Shalavee.com

Co-creating with my Family on Shalavee.com

Co-creating with my Family on Shalavee.com

So when I had this idea to art these plates for the garden fence wall, I thought why not involve the whole family in making the art? We chose animals and insects that we’d encountered in our backyard. I bought the right paints for ceramics. I downloaded the animal pictures. Then I cut out the animal shapes from clear sticky back shelf paper and adhered them to the plates.  The animal shapes would come out white after we’d painted them and peeled  off the shelf paper.Co-creating with my Family on Shalavee.comCo-creating with my Family on Shalavee.com

Co-creating with my Family on Shalavee.com

My son chose to paint the turtle and the firefly. My daughter painted the fox, the raccoon, the squirrel, and the rabbit. We joined together with great sincerity and intention in our now air-conditioned garage and set to work to create art. And that’s what we did. Each persons’ was different yet they were all united by a theme. And just this weekend, I finally mounted the last four as I had to go buy more plate hangers.Co-creating with my Family on Shalavee.com

Co-creating with my Family on Shalavee.com

Co-creating with my Family on Shalavee.com

Co-creating with my Family on Shalavee.com

Creating memories with my family is always an ulterior motive. But luckily my kids are creative and grab any opportunity to find themselves within whatever medium is laid in front of them, be it pumpkin, egg, or plate. And long after the kids are gone, I’m still have a piece of them in my backyard.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Give Yourself a Place To Be Seen

I am such a human beast most of the time. I react without thinking and overthink situations without acting . I crave to be acknowledged and fear being seen. I spend more than enough time alone in my head. But what I do know is that we humans are naturally pack animals. And as women, we need the intimacy afforded us in these groups like we need water.

I’ve been inspired by many women in real life and online who have brought this need to my attention. Whether we were playing bridge or washing our clothing at the watering hole or hanging out in the bleeding hut together, we need the camaraderie and the connection that gathering gives us.

Give Yourself a Place To Be Seen on Shalavee.com

Being witnessed in your moment of feeling however you feel is a glorious feeling and needs to be something we give ourselves. We need to he heard and seen and acknowledged by others and by ourselves as well. The witnessing makes us whole in a way that nothing else can.

So I encourage you to find a way, or many ways, in which you are seen. For me that was through my blog and Instagram. It was by organizing a group of women I respected to meet-up in real life and say real things to one another. It has been to write from my authentic voice and publish it every week and allow people to read and feel what they want.

Many of us have been such harsh critics to ourselves for so long, we no longer recognize our isolation. I urge everyone to give themselves permission to share themselves with other people. Have real conversations and talk about ideas you are interested in. Surprise yourself by allowing connection and vulnerability and tell me what happens please.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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