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International Women’s Day 2021 : Seeing Ourselves as Valuable

The theme for 2021’s International Women’s Day, which falls on Monday March 8th, is #ChoosetoChallenge .While the global pandemic over the past year has challenged all of us in ways we’d never have wished on anyone, it has also brought to light some woeful discrepancies in gender equality. I have issue with the dismissal and disrespect for Stay-at-home Moms who became the majority this past year.

In the middle of spending months constantly caretaking and worrying about three demanding humans this past year, I acknowledged I felt emotionally and physically exhausted and resentful of all the “doing” for my family. It was apparent my kids didn’t appreciate me. And when I heard other women were struggling with the overwhelm of having to simultaneously work, home-school, clean, and cook for their families, I saw a pattern of disrespect from society, families, and ourselves emerging.

Once you see something, you can not Un-see it. The world is unappreciative of the women who have been keeping us all sane, sanitary, and fed through this pandemic and of the generations prior. The very backbone of every country has been and is taken for granted as a “given” resource. But this Mom job isn’t a default job because we weren’t good enough for anything else. Honestly, we are so good at the multitasking of home maintenance that we make it look too easy. And we’re being taken for granted.

From my perspective, keeping the seams of the country stitched together is a relentless, disrespected, and necessary job. The toddler in diapers and the angry teen are the future of our country. Refusing to acknowledge, honor, and support families’ now saturated need for this special type of care and love at home dooms our next generation to their entitled future anger for emotional abandonment as their mothers spread themselves too thin to do it all. As they work to just pay for childcare.

International Women's Day 2021 : Seeing Ourselves as Valuable on Shalavee.com

These very women are also not asking the world and their families for their due acknowledgment and appreciation. It makes me sad that women are so quick to disregard themselves and their value. We often do what needs getting done without too much “fuss” stating it’s not a big deal, we’re just used to this and it’s easier for us to do the work without help. This is the hardest job ever. By taking ourselves for granted, we are raising and priming the next generation of women for the same self-neglect and disrespect. Playing it down needs to stop.

We cannot conquer what we can not recognize as oppressive, be it our own self-neglect or societal disrespect. In order to see ourselves as valuable human beings, we need to treat ourselves as such. But feeling entitled to respect when we suffer from low self-esteem and anxiety is nearly impossible. I am still on my own journey to climb out of the self-hatred hole and into the compassionate light of seeing myself as a worthy human. This takes additional work beyond that of caring for the family.

The lockdown has taught me life’s easier when I’m vigilant about my self-care by prioritizing my needs and maintaining my boundaries, especially with my family. I can only continue care-taking my children effectively and thoughtfully when I replenish my energy reserves. I do this with therapy, community support, journaling, creating art, and I am committed to taking anti-anxiety medications for the rest of my life. This is how I revere myself and stay sane. Our refusal to prioritize our care and needs doesn’t boost our self-sacrifice points. It does no one any good.

International Women's Day 2021 : Seeing Ourselves as Valuable on Shalavee.com

As we acknowledge our worthiness as women, I’d like to see us choose to join together in the grander act of superversion; a joint and conscious nurturing act of building ourselves and our daughters esteems up so they will be entitled to ask to be treated fairly and respectfully. Unlike subversion, this is not an act against anyone or anything, but an answer to a societal oversight. To honor our heroic female ancestors and ourselves, we can only help future generations recognize the importance of all the unseen selfless acts of love women perform for their families that have allowed future generations to thrive.

Only when we start exhibiting the behavior that we want to see, will the world shift with us. Right is just plain right. A little superversion as purposeful positivity, support, and nurturing, can unite and carry us together safely as one to speak and act on behalf of women around the globe who can not speak for themselves. This is how we can make change, from within ourselves and for the world. I’d like to say the patriarchy will applaud us, but it won’t. We just have to be here for each other no matter.

If you feel resentful towards the world and your families for the way they take you for granted, I completely understand. What will it take for us to tell them to think better of us? What tax breaks could we be offered so that being a stay at home Mom could be the more valued job it should be? How about subsidizing childcare workers to make it more available? And how can you yourself revere your own worthiness with acts of kindness so that others will treat you as you treat you? Please share these ideas and respectfully remember all those wonderful women who have come before us who deserved this kind of love and respect.

And then give this to yourselves.

This post is written to acknowledge the role of women in the world in honour of International Women’s Day 2021. The theme is  #choosetochallenge.  Co-ordinated by Attract Readers, https://www.attractreaders.com

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Ladies, We Are Still Disregarding Ourselves 100 Years Later

This pandemic has again brought to light the fact that the world runs on the efforts and consideration of the caretakers. In fact, the role of mother and homemaker has never been given it’s due respect from my perspective. We aren’t just undercompensated for the care we give the people who need it, we are under appreciated. And not just by everyone, but by ourselves.Ladies, We Are Still Disregarding Ourselves 100 Years Later on Shalavee.com

An exhibit at the National Museum of American History titled All Work and No Pay: A History of Women’s Invisible Labor went up just as the lockdown happened. Explore the history of women’s work in the home and the value and implications of unwaged labor. Despite making steps forward in the paid labor force, there is an implied and historical expectation that women will take care of the housework and unpaid work at home.”

100 years later with a right to vote and everyone still expects this of us, even us.Ladies, We Are Still Disregarding Ourselves 100 Years Later on Shalavee.com

For the care of our loved ones, we willingly sacrifice our own needs for time, space, peace, and care. These considerations for self-care fall on our shoulders just as all the other caretaking considerations and we shove them to the bottom of the list as we’ve always done. But then here we are, “Do as I do not as I say” and “My needs aren’t as important as yours”.

Here we are raising another generation to disregard women.

So my cry for freedom is that we stop the martyrdom of not caring for ourselves and fake it until we make it. We share chores because all work is just as important. We share childcare as best we can because we need time off. We ask brothers and sisters to take a day or two off of their lives to care for their parent too, we need to get our hair professionally dyed or just sit in silence and turn off our auto buttons. And let’s pass on to the next generation the idea that there is no work that is just “women’s work.”

Ladies, We Are Still Disregarding Ourselves 100 Years Later on Shalavee.com

     A banner from the Suffragist era reads,

Forward out of darkness, Leave behind the night.

Forward out of error, Forward into Light.”

Amen.

 

Interested in reading my future thoughts on Creative Soul Living?

Enter your name into the subscription box in the sidebar to the right and subscribe to my bi-weekly posts via your emailbox.

Find me on Instagram to view my daily pictures,

friend me or like my page on Facebook.

I love community, soulful candid conversation, and being in touch.

And as always, thank you for your visit.

You Don’t Have to Be Called “Artist” to Create, You Just Need to Create

You recognize that you’re a creative person. You make stuff all the time. And yet you aren’t comfortable calling yourself an artist. You say, “Artists devote themselves to their crafts and are really really talented. That’s not me.” I’ve been there, done this too. But I say, it’s not about calling yourself an artist, it’s about crediting yourself with your unique and constant creativity. About choosing a label you are happy with like Maker or Creative.You Don't Have to Be Called “Artist” to Create, You Just Need to Create on Shalavee.com

I started by calling myself an artist with a small “a”. As I said yes to creative projects, I began to see myself as more talented through the eyes of the other participants. And when I was introduced to the idea of calling myself an Uber-Creative, I knew I liked that definition way more than Artist. Read my thoughts about this in my post on Life as an Uber Creative.

It’s all about giving credibility and voice to your inner creative child. We have taken on the voice that says that creativity is unproductive and unnecessary. We all expect women to create children and homes and systems to raise them in. From the meals that we make to the ways that we parent our obstinate offspring, a woman’s world is perpetually creative.You Don't Have to Be Called “Artist” to Create, You Just Need to Create on Shalavee.com

So I invite you to see yourself in this new light of permitted creativity. We makers need to stick together and show off what we make. To be seen and to see what we may be capable of making too. Join me on Instagram, a fairly straightforward social media app, by posting a picture there, describing it in the description area, and typing #ourcreativeselves and @shalaghhogan there too to connect with us. This will be an amazing first step to acknowledging your creativity and joining a community of creatives.

Interested in reading my future ponderings on Creative Soul Living?

Enter your name into the subscription box in the sidebar to the right and subscribe to my biweekly posts via your emailbox.

Find me on Instagram to see my daily pictures,

friend me or like my page on Facebook.

Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too.

I am a community kinda person and am always practicing Intentional Intouchness.

I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thank you for your visit.

Screw the Results, Get Caught up in the creative Process

In the midst of this creativity Challenge , #OurCreativeJanuary , and I recognize what my purpose in life is. It’s to not only keep creating something, anything, but to insist that everyone else needs to too. Not for the credit or the compliments on how perfectly you’ve done it, but how lovely it feels to be in process in community. I say screw the results, get caught up in the process.

We all need to create, even if we don’t call it that. And sharing what we create makes the process feel even better. I am convinced that in order to increase your confidence in anything, you not only need to do it, but you need an audience. Especially one that is right there doing the same thing with you. Who understands your fears and is enthusiastic when you make a breakthrough.

Why Wouldn’t you do everything this way?

You don’t have to be an artist to make,

you just need to make to be a maker.

 

Trick is to make sure that you feel as safe as you can when you do share. Not sharing is miserable and sharing on Facebook may not be advisable if your feed isn’t locked down. Safety is very important.

I feel safe on Instagram. I never get harassed and I have the option of deleting any spam comments on my feed. But more so, when we share our work with the same hashtag, we can visit one another and swoon over our combined creative efforts. People with similar interests just seem to find each other there.

And on Instagram is where I’ll be posting my creative endeavors for the next three months plus via #the100dayproject hashtag.

It’s a project I never thought I’d be able to finish and now I’ve done it three times.

Find the wrap up of the 2018 100 Day Project Here.

Find the wrap up of the 2019 100 Day Project Here.

Find the wrap up of the 2020 100 Day Project Here.

And on January 31st, consider joining me for the 100 Day Project.

Go here to see what this is all about.

Interested in reading my future ponderings on Creative Soul Living? Subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my weekly posts via your emailbox.

Find me on Instagram to see my daily pictures,

friend me or like my page on Facebook.

Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too.

I am a community kinda person and am always practicing Intentional Intouchness.

I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Our Creative January Challenge for 2021

Announcing an Our Creative January Challenge to start off 2021 on the creative right foot . A creative community challenge I am hosting on Instagram.

Since 2017, l’ve dared to host #ourcreativeselves community projects and #Soul_selfie challenges. As l continue to emerge from my creative and low self-esteem shells, these challenges have given voice to both my creative and soul searching selves and my communities.

I forget this. I forget myself. Often. So this coming year, l want to remember myself and engage in more community challenges.

Because they’re fun.

Because l enjoy playing with like-minded people.

Because this will help heal our collective souls.

If you’d like to, join me in #OurCreativeJanuary IG project. Using this hashtag and the #ourcreativeselves tag, we’ll post pictures on Instagram of whatever we’ve created. Post them daily, bi-weekly, or weekly and see what others have created. Create with words, collage, paint, music, clay, food, or a new vignette in your house. If you like, tag me in the post too @shalaghhogan . And for the rest of the year, I’ll be joining Nina Spolar for #my52in2021 and #createtoconnect to post creative endeavors and stay connected with #Ourcreativeselves people.

 

Interested in reading my future ponderings on Creative Soul Living?Subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my weekly posts via your emailbox.

Find me on Instagram to see my daily pictures,

friend me or like my page on Facebook.

Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too.

I am a community kinda person and am always practicing Intentional Intouchness.

I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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