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Community is a Necessary Evil

I’ve just come away from organizing a successful fundraiser for my church community. Everyone showed up for the fundraiser bringing food and auction items and they enjoyed laughing and dancing within that community of people. This is the sort of experience that strengthens our individual selves as well as the community. Makes us feel wanted, needed, and gives us a sense of belonging.

And then there’s those other moments as a part of a group. When someone says something that pisses you off. When you feel taken advantage of or attacked when you meant only the best, of course. And those moments will ruin many years of good intentions and community bonds. Because we’re human and messy and sensitive and lousy communicators.

I have never been a part of a community until this one. And while we’re not best friends with anyone, there’s a definite knowledge that if we needed help in any way, we would have a boatload of people show up to deliver that help and take care of us. They are like family in that way. That’s the kind of support that we need as individual and for our families. That’s the definition of community.

Community is a Necessary Evil on Shalavee.com

 

While the dust was settling from a nasty divorce with his first wife, my now husband received some advice from a bartender. He said, “At first, all women will seem evil. Then only one woman will be evil. And eventually, women will be a necessary evil.” Community is a necessary evil. Without it, we have no mirrors to gauge ourselves, see if what we feel is normal. We have no support system and we have no one to sing and dance with and keep us warm.

I can see now that the most hurt I have experienced has come from people putting their fears onto me. Those are the moments when I want nothing more to do with them or the place where I know them from. But where else can we practice compassion for ourselves but inside a community of like-minded people? By giving them the chance to be human and make bad choices and be forgiven, we can offer that to ourselves as well.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

An Ode to the Women Who Have Shared Before Me

If you have been with me for a short time or a long, reading my stories of my journey and milestones towards increased self-esteem and awareness, you will know that this doesn’t happen in a vacuum. There are many people who have inspired me and encouraged me along the way. And it is this dynamic that I want to extoll today.

Were it not for the many women out there who have simply, or at length, told their story, or even a part of their story, in a way that I discerned that there was more for me than where I was, I wouldn’t have moved.

I had to see and feel into the possibilities of what my life might be if it felt easier, if I liked myself a little more, or if I let go of one belief and replaced it with another. These many women that I have encountered doing their soul work were like steppingstones over rivers I didn’t imagine even existed.An Ode to the Women Who Have Shared Before Me on Shalavee.com

As they described their journeys and details, I found I could imagine myself feeling and doing in ways I had never thought possible. I used what they gave me and began intuiting the life that I knew would be right for me. And I progressed.

I owe so much gratitude to all these women for being brave enough to put details of their journeys out so that I may read and pull from them what I needed to create my own. Together we are creating an inukshuk, a guide post created from all of our stories for the young women of the future. And I know how grateful they will feel.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

You Are Not Alone So Find Your Clan and Prove it

There is a noble suffering thing that we seem to do as humans. We freak out when things start to go wrong but somehow we’re convinced that we are the only ones. First time business owners, first time menstruating teenagers, first time Moms, and first time submitting writers all have first time doubts that they feel single them out. Male or female, it feels so personal, scary, and devastating.

Somehow in this world of drive-throughs and Amazon, we’ve forgotten that we are still a group of people. That community being the family household, the neighborhood, the school, the work organization, or the clan that you choose, we are never actually alone. Unless we choose to be.

So what would it take for us to stop being so painfully unique with our problems and reach out? What do we need to know in order to –Boom- alleviate ourselves of our painful personal destinies and share them with one person who would say, “I get it, me too” ?

Ironically, I found a community online when I decided to come out of my shell and be authentic. And then I reached out and made a group within my home community of like-minded women. Being witnessed is some powerful stuff but I had to be willing to be authentic and vulnerable to enjoy the benefits.

Fear is only trying to protect you but it has us making stupid choices and one of those is that you are supposed to keep quiet about your pain. So let’s all just make a promise that we will reach out instead and find at least one person who knows what we are afraid of so that we came feel less afraid. And then find another and another and make a clan of people you can trust whenever anyone feels that again.

That is community living at it’s finest and it is how we will heal ourselves and the world. Within a place where the sum of the parts is a great source of compassion for the the individual. Amen.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Oh Universe, What Would You Have Me Do?

We mistrust ourselves so much, we have to hand much of our decision making over to another power. We create elaborate ways to make decisions. Drop a divining line down and see which way it swings to decide (dowsing pendulum). Pick your arm up and drop it to see if you should eat it (applied kinesiology). Because it’s awfully hard admitting that you have no faith in your own decisions and easier to give it over to something else. The exception being God. But most of us are faithless and frenetic.

The Drowning man story is the best story ever which humorlessly depicts how our lack of sight and faith keeps us from seeing the divine signs sent to us.

A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.

Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, “Jump in, I can save you.”

The stranded fellow shouted back, “No, it’s OK, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me.”

So the rowboat went on.

Then a motorboat came by. “The fellow in the motorboat shouted, “Jump in, I can save you.”

To this the stranded man said, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”

So the motorboat went on.

Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, “Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety.”

To this the stranded man again replied, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”

So the helicopter reluctantly flew away.

Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, “I had faith in you but you didn’t save me, you let me drown. I don’t understand why!”

To this God replied, “I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?”

We are given so much and yet our brains don’t see what we’ve got but rather focus on what we don’t have.

Meditation and yoga are ways to reach our larger calmer parental minds, the voices we could trust to make decisions for us. But these processes are not a “one time and done” kinda thing. They require discipline and time and pain. Modern Americans have no time for any of these. And in essence, were not really worth it.Oh Universe, What Would You Have Me Do?

The beautiful thing about being young is that you are told what to do. You resent every little syllable you had to obey but when you find yourself without the direction, you may end up asking the Universe what it may want of you? And it may be super hard to find that first answer. But that is where I am right now.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Listening to My Inner Truth

Our family just went to see Toy Story 4 recently in which Buzz Lightyear learns from Woody that listening to his inner voice will help him make the best life choices. And so throughout the rest of the movie, he’d yank on his pull string and interpret his “inner voice” to guide him. It was brilliant.

Call it inner voice or intuition, people tend to get their Intuition mixed up with their Should Managers. I’ve done this repeatedly and it always gets me in trouble. Instead of listening to what will nourish my heart and soul, I make a choice that either puts me out in the wide open, too vulnerable and uncertain about what to do next. Or I stay in hiding and think I can’t start at all until it’s “safe” and I know everything. Leading with the head instead of the heart gets you in trouble.

What I do know is that if I pull it all back and ask myself what my truthful purpose in life is, I get an answer that seems so me, I relax. I asked today and I heard, “To facilitate community, communication, self-awareness, and support creativity for myself and others in a way that makes a difference.” Truth.Listening to Your Inner Truth on Shalavee.com

The trick is to make sure that every choice I make feels like I’m promoting that. Ask every time I choose to push forward, is this supporting my growth of myself, my community, and my opportunities to live creatively? If the answer is maybe, I need to stop and consider all the marvelous possibilities that I may be squelching by either not going through with it or pushing through.

I have been holding myself back for a long long time. I have listened to myself countless times asking to expand. And I have shut that down so many times saying it’s better if I just keep safe and keep treading water. Even my Intuition is onto this now. The best time to start over is always right now. As the seasons change, I feel a internal change coming too and a need for a new story to emerge. Do you feel this way too in Spring and Fall ?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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