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Currently Browsing: Gathering My Lessons

Impress Yourself and Be Your Own Hero

You and I work so hard everyday to keep our lifeboats afloat. There are people to care for and bills to remember to pay. And I know I am not stepping back far enough to truly see how much I’m accomplishing. All this may impress you but I’m used to this. I’m valuing the wrong things apparently.

I found myself sad some months ago about how people I knew were letting all these marvelous things happen, flinging doors open. Walking towards their success. When I should have been happy, all I could think was “Why not me?” The simple answer was I wasn’t ready for it. The larger answer is I hadn’t set myself on sights to impress myself with my talents just to see if I could. To play the round of golf against myself and see what was my best score today could be.Be here and be your own hero on Shalavee.com

I found myself thinking the other day that I’d like to feel that thrill of doing that dangerous impressive thing again. That sigh of relief, the surge of adrenaline, that excitement of sharing my act with people who I know will be pleased and proud of me. And then I remembered an old mantra that used to get me up and going, ready for the next challenge. I used to say,”What would I do to be my own Hero?” And memories of prior courageousness flood back to me. Of leaving an abusive marriage. Of beginning to write, starting a blog, joining Facebook.

I remembered I used to say,”What would I do to be my own Hero?”

And memories of prior courageousness flood back to me.

And suddenly I was no longer alone. I had an army of brave women with me. Fears are foolish. They prey on your weak moments when you’ve forgotten yourself. They whisper lies of not-enoughness to you. But there have been plenty of moments when I have been impressively courageous. Hello, childbirth twice. Be here and be your own hero on Shalavee.com

Today I need to do things that make me uncomfortable, that I’m avoiding doing. But I also know that given a chance, they may become things I truly enjoy doing. They may lead me to the edges where I can happily stop and not wonder what else. They may lead me to places I never foresaw going and are my favorite places in the future. They may even lead me to connecting with my new favorite people. I just have to start with impressing myself. And allowing for the little unexpected, un-perfect, and exciting moments to unfold.

(First published back in November of 2016, I thought this one was worth revisiting. It made me feel good to reread it.)

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Books That Don’t Help

 

(If you’d like to listen to me read this post, there’s an audio recording at the bottom of the post. Scroll down and Just press play and Soundcloud will do the rest)

Is it that I’m too pragmatic or my expectations are too high? Because I believe that if you’re going to make the effort to write a book or create anything that you want people to buy or buy into, you need to make sure it will in fact help them and not just you. Books need to have a little more purpose for the money they ask.

There’s a book up on my bookshelf. It’s been sitting there, me staring at it for years now. I looked at it once and then plopped it up on the shelf to fill space. But the book is just eye candy. It has pretty pictures of how someone decorated and styled a photo shoot. But there is nothing of practical worth in it for me, save perhaps a tiny shred of inspiration. But after you’ve read it, you are done. No more value is issuing forth from that book. And that annoys me.

Books that don't help on Shalavee.com

I believe that there is a lot of crap that is being passed off as something you should want but after you buy it, there’s nothing happening to benefit you and your life.

That it is understood that some books are of keeping value and some are just to be thumbed through like a magazine at the doctor’s office and then never to be looked at again. I get it. But why do I feel compelled to hold onto this book? That’s my bad. And I think, what sort of book would I offer which had more?Could I just throw together a book of pretty pictures with no helpful words inside. No.

I believe that there is such a thing as pretty pictures combined with good helpful content. That is the sort of book, website, Facebook group, and social media account I want to hold onto and be a part of. And I believe that there is a lot of crap that is being passed off as something you should want but after you get there, there’s nothing happening to benefit you and your life. Value to me has deeper roots and I’m about to purge myself of items that no longer serve the value which I want to see in my life. And the kind I want to create in my life as well. What about you?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Living in Paradox

It occurred to me recently that life necessitates living in a paradox more than we seem to be comfortable with. Our need to categorize and be perfectly right has us believing there’s a right way or there’s the highway. But I’ve bumped into several situations that would seem we need to lighten up and accept we can live on both sides.

 

I read somewhere, “You’re allowed to be Ok where you are and want something different too” and I froze. What? How is that possible? My disgust with my body would necessitate changing it, right? But now I am being given permission to be Ok with my body and also create an intention to tune it up simultaneously? Whereas before I didn’t believe I was really going to meet my goal, thus that disgust, if I then give myself permission to be OK with where I am now, then I feel more confident that I’ll be there for myself in guiding the progress towards where I want. Self-trust then allows for me to occupy this seeming paradox. Aha!

Living in Paradox on Shalavee.com

I truly do believe that to move on from anywhere, you need to accept that you are there where you are then. So it would stand to reason that in any circumstances, you can accept /acknowledge/understand being there (not always be angry or disapproving) and this will give you the power and space to make a shift from there onward. So for me, that would sound like, “My body is OK the way it is. I am no less beautiful for the couple extra pounds I adopted at Christmas. I am not broken so I don’t have to fix it, I just want to tune/tone it up when that opportunity becomes available.”

Living in Paradox on Shalavee.com

 

Life is absolutely made of way more paradoxes than we care to acknowledge. Is it a paradox to like your body well enough the way it is and want to change it? Is it a paradox to love your husband and have crush on Brad Pitt? If what we have is good enough for now, then we can look to other possibilities without recrimination or guilt, that feeling of being at a deficit or deficient isn’t helping anyway. I can acknowledge that eventually I’d like a new couch and for now, this one is good enough. And that opening up for possibilities allows for more being OK with my now. We all need to find a way to be OK with our nows.

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

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Judge Not Lest Ye’ Be Judged

Opinions are like noses, everyone has one. And you know of course, that makes everyone capable of being Judgy Judgertons right? But judgements are actually necessary. We judge if that old lady really is feeble enough to need a hand opening the store door and whether or not the pain we are currently having requires a 911 call for an ambulance.

We’ve been taught that judging others is bad. But even if  I choose to refrain from judging you, this probably won’t stop you from judging me. You will do what you will do. And so will I.Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged on Shalavee.com

I am often surprised at the judgements I come up with for people without knowing them. Seems that somehow deciding what you are or aren’t makes me feel better. I’m less threatened by you if I think you are snotty or snobbish. Then you snubbing me won’t be about my deficiency but yours.

If you are too skinny then you will judge me for being fat, as I judge myself this way. Or maybe you have an eating disorder and that scares me. We have a compulsion to separate out ourselves with our judgements.

Ironically, it’s the fear of being judged and cast out of the tribe that keeps us anxious. We judge ourselves against perceived goals of being acceptable and hope to be deemed worthy of our own existences.Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged on Shalavee.com

Judge Yourself First Lest Ye’ Be Judged Worse.

All I can do is try to be kinder and more open-hearted. To know that I am human and allow for my daily failings to make room for my winnings too. And to know that books and covers don’t match. If I find I have a trigger judgement surfacing, I can make an extra effort to ask a person what their favorite anything is. That way, we will pass from snap summaries to soul searches. That is me being the world I want to live in.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Garden Grief

I told my husband this morning that I’m beside myself with frustration and grief from the garden shrub and tree flowering that got screwed up with our early warm spell and freeze this March. There was no umbrella of blossoms on the weeping cherry tree. There are three blooms on the wisteria. And the beautiful tulip magnolia tree next door just sprouted leaves without flowers. I am grieving for the Spring that got stolen.Garden Grief on Shalavee.com

It happens every year. The wisteria gets interrupted. The hydrangea bushes were taken back down to the ground as were the figs. An ill-timed frost takes out whatever shrub or tree is preparing it’s tender timid blossoms and shoots at the moment. And in the event of snowfall, a garage roof avalanche takes out your rosemary bushes. Garden Grief on Shalavee.com

My husband said,”Well you can’t control nature.” I stare at him. Is it that I am angry that I can’t control it? Or is it that I already see enough grief in the world without having my backyard oasis turn on me too? I had given over the vegetable gardening to my husband after a crop of six-foot tall tomatoes were devastated and demolished by a downy white mildew blight. It wasn’t personal, just nature and the wind. And I gave up.

Except understand, there are nine garden beds around my house. And I am happy with zero of them. The lack of enthusiasm doesn’t help to change them and so I carry over my disdain and complacency from year to year. Yes if I could afford to have professionals come in and overhaul them I would. But I can’t so I won’t.Garden Grief on Shalavee.com

A journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step they say. And drops in the bucket fill it up. I concede that I will have to begin again and forgive mother nature for her cruelty. It’s just business after all, not personal. The business of continuing to decide whether I’m in the game or not. If you pity me and live anywhere near me, tell me what you can do for me. I’m all ears.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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