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Mending My Body

Before launching into one of his tales, my husband always says,”Stop me if I’ve told you this one before”. Of course you wouldn’t be rude enough to do that. I’m the only one that would. But I do think I have a tendency to hesitate telling you about myself sometimes as if you’ll tire of “that same old story” especially when I’m whining about my body.

I’ve found, however, that some stories are worth telling over and over if it allows for others to give themselves permission to help themselves or feel like they’re not alone. So this is my current story.

I am fighting the good fight next round of finding the right doctors, attending the doctor’s appointments, scheduling procedures, and getting through the procedures. Oy is it a battle! And yet, at the end, I have told myself that I am valuable enough as a human being to take care of.

I have finally gotten another set of bilateral corticosteroid shots to my sacroiliac (SI) joints where the spine, or sacrum, attaches to the hips. I am awaiting a follow-up doctor’s appointment but have not experienced complete pain relief all the time. I can get two more sets of shots before I have to wait 6 more months. If this ceases to be affective, my next choice would be a fusion surgery. We’re hoping that will be unnecessary for a long time. mending my body on Shalavee.com

I am now on a countdown for a sinus surgery that essentially should have been done years ago. It seems that a deviated septum is to blame for my chronic sinusitis and subsequent failure (twice) of the antibiotic augmentin. So essentially, I am having my nose roto-routered. It’s kinda hard not to be anticipatory of this sort of thing. And being unable to take Ibuprofen ten days prior to the surgery is messing with me as my SI joint responds best to that medication.

What I like to say is that it is what it is until it isn’t anymore. And soon this will all be a nightmare. In other words, I’ve got my sights set to the future and the Fall when my fall allergies won’t create yet another sinus infection. And I can go running outside again. These are respectable goals.mending my body on Shalavee.com

I hope that me telling you all of this, you can see that taking care of whatever ails or hurts you is such a big deal in feeling like a whole happy person. You’d never deny a child the medical treatment they would need so why do adults do it all the time to themselves?

Follow the breadcrumbs to your wellness.

Anyone have something their putting off taking care of?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Incomplete, the Ignored, and the Undone

There is a lot of incomplete, ignored, and undone tasks hovering over my head. I come across a pile of stuff in my closet or attic or bookshelf and I think , I don’t have the time to deal with this. Then multiply this by 100 and I’m kinda a captive of all the uncompleted piles of stuff. A prisoner of my past, my intentions, and my stuff.

Years of living reactively, of not completely cleaning up after myself, and of not knowing what to value has led to a slight hoarding problem. I get it honest from my family. I began my reformation 10 years ago when I shut my shop down. My story is here. And as processes are just that, I still have much to let go of. The Incomplete, the ignored, and the undone on Shalavee.com

It’s never been about the stuff. The stuff represents who you think you are. Or who you used to think you were or who you think you might want to be. The stuff represents the tension and your confusion between these undecided upon possibilities. I have been very concertedly attempting to better decide on who I am. I’m a work in progress and process.

Meanwhile, I picked up Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up recently. I started in a little clearing some of my clothing and folding my shirts in my drawers so that you can see all of them in a row. Very satisfying and I completely love that your decision criteria to hold or let go of what you own depends on whether you love it. Quite simply, does it bring you happiness?

The theme that is emerging in my life is Happiness. That what doesn’t make you happy isn’t worth the space either in your head or on your shelf. If the memory that you have when you hold the object makes you happy then “heck yeah” you should hold on to it. But if it only brings you confusion or sadness, then letting it go is an act of kindness.The Incomplete, the ignored, and the undone on Shalavee.com

I know there’s a button making gizmo in a box at the top of my closet which we used to make pins and magnets with our picture on it as wedding favors 15 years ago. A button maker is a really cool thing to have but I have never needed it since. And the life-size cardboard stand up of Han Solo frozen in carbonite? That makes me enormously happy. It reminds me of a life changing moment in my life in the movie theater at the age of 14. And my kids can do whatever they want with it after I’m gone.

Sometimes, we have to allow for things to be undecided and incomplete until we have shifted and chosen something else. Until we know ourselves better. I know this and so I often leave stuff alone and undecided upon until this happens, until it becomes clear what I need to do with my opportunities. My tendency is to collect options but that can wear me out quickly. Too many options is as bad as none. So my intentions for the year are to move through my space, my possibilities, and my stuff with an awareness of my happiness, my benefits, and my abundance. Less to look at and deal with is less brain clutter too. And I need the space to make better choices on my happiness in other areas of my life.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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When Being at Home Can Happen Anywhere

My daily prayer is for a shift. Please let my mind shift to see me and my world and my potential differently today. To value what I have and what I know with respect and reverence. I leave the house hoping to break my “same brain”. And I do for a little while driving or shopping. And then I return home and I feel the inevitable slip back into my rut.

In the light of the upcoming birthday party and having guests over, I am doing some home renovations. Throw a party and you’ll make progress. My hallway is getting a long overdue facelift. 2 gallons and two quarts of paint later, the hallway is completely different. And while I am feeling thrilled and empowered with this change, I also have simultaneously discovered the home and safe passage I am looking for is nowhere I can physically touch. The home I truly seek is within me.When being at home can happen anywhere on Shalavee.com

Whether in my heart or in my soul, the safety and comfort I’m seeking is inside of me. It’s the comfort of a place where I can trust being me. It is the safety of knowing that I will not allow anyone to mistreat or disrespect me here. Trust in myself is like the biggest most comfortable couch to lounge on. You either own it or you don’t.

Although I do think the change in my abode will do me a world of good, the courage for the change is coming from a change inside of me. 12 years ago I renovated a house down the street and made it my shop. I boldly painted the floor there and loved it. Today I took the chance again and painted the floor of my home and I love it again. Go figure.When being at home can happen anywhere on Shalavee.com

I had to toss out some of the same fears that I always had about painting wooden floors and just had to do it to make me happy. I am certain that, in this same way, I need to just plow over some of my fears about success that keep me stuck. The fears need to be renovated or tossed because they have kept me staring at the same ugly uncomfortable couch for far too long. I’d rather sit on the floor with some nice throw pillows than feel the burden and dread of that same old seat on that smelly old fear couch. What would you do to be your own hero today?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

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Purging the Stuff That Owns Us

The pruning, the watering, the dusting, and the ironing. If you have stuff, you need to upkeep it. Kids need food and clothes. Your body needs hair cuts and doctor’s appointments. Your house needs gutters and your car needs gas. If we listen to the mantra of American marketing, getting more while spending less is what we live for. But what if all our getting and spending doesn’t make us happy? If our lifestyles of ownership stresses us out? Then perhaps we need to take a look at what we own and why. Really look.

I do occasional forays into cleaning out my stuff. I have recently reached the middle of the Marie Kondo’s book The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up. But I stopped. Partially because the holiday season hit. And partly because I know that there are deeper reasons for much of my ownership of my stuff that I have to plow through. And I may not be ready to go there yet.

Little by little I’ve touched drawer contents and desktop data. I’ve completely overhauled our internet and computer information saving/backup system. Very satisfying to not have to be irritated or concerned about any of that anymore. But there are a half-dozen boxes in the attic that contain objects from my childhood. They are stacked on top of each other, listing and falling about. And it seems an indication to me that I may need to repack up my childhood with some care. Purging the stuff that owns you on Shalavee.com

All the stuff I keep is to remind me of something. I suspect sometimes the items are breadcrumbs leading me back to a bit of unfinished business. My childhood has a lot of that. So when last night I dared to read further into Marie Kondo’s book, I was struck by the next batch of wisdom I read.

“By handling each sentimental item and deciding what to discard, you process your past. Or it becomes a burden and a hindrance from living now”.

“It is not our memories but the person we’ve become because of those past experiences that we should treasure. This is the lesson these keepsakes teach us when we sort them. The space in which we live should be for the person we are becoming now, not for the person we were in the past.”

So I will set aside some time and arm myself with new more respectable containers for my childhood. I will dig through, decipher, decide, and then ditch what no longer belongs to me. And I will repeat that process as I go through my files for tax season. And my garage junk in preparation for painting season. Layers of ownership need to be peeled off me for the new year to feel lighter and more hopeful. I need space for what makes me happier. And to let go of what no longer serves me. And Miss Kondo promises, “One of the magical effects of tidying is the confidence in your decision-making ability.” I think I could use a big boost to my decision-making confidence too.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Industrious Over-focused is My Coping Mechanism

I rocked my Christmas production. While Mark was out of the country on business in mid December, I scheduled all the Christmas activities on my two daycare days, at night, and on the weekends. In fact, by working more proactively this year, I event coordinated both Christmas and Thankgiving like a pro. And when it was over, when the pause between Christmas and New Year’s came, I awaited the twitchy tell-tale signs of my spastic over-doing nature to pull me off the couch.Industrious over focused is y coping mechanism on Shalavee.com

From my therapist, I learned that in childhood, when a child doesn’ t get the support or acceptance they deserve and need, he/she adopts a coping strategy. Seems mine is called Industrious/Over-focused. I discovered all of this after I had asked her why it was that there never seemed to be an end point to my work. What I did was never enough. She said, if I continue to expect my efforts to be met with disapproval, I’ve created a habit of just not stopping. Makes sense.

It’s tough to override the auto-pilot coping mechanisms. Especially when you are stressed out. I began to really think hard about how now I am the parent in my life. That I don’t have to be disapproving of my efforts. In fact, I’d say mostly these days, I’m OK with most of my efforts. So it really is about me being mindful and kind enough, trusting myself enough to just have a seat, relax, and feel worthy. That can be hard work for the Energizer Bunny here but I did find myself choosing to not cook every single night and I chose to sit and relax and write by the fire once or twice. I enjoyed a movie with my family multiple nights over the holiday. And I let myself art a little to boot. I listened and I heard myself own my needs. That’s huge.Industrial Overfocused is my coping strategy on Shalavee.com

Days passed that I didn’t have anything big to do. And I awaited that twitchy feeling of disapproval to arrive. And it never did. Of course the laundry piled up and today was a four-loader. But that’s to be expected every once in a while. It bore no ill reflection on my worth or the value of my soul’s loveability.

I’m satisfied with everything I did this holiday season. From having no bows on my presents and coordinating the wrapping paper to the recipient, I ended up enjoying a few glasses of good cheer in my lovely little happily decorated home. Because I have bigger fish to fry this year and need none of that to distract me from my focus on my purpose and happiness and values I’ve come to understand are things I’m entitled to have.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit. If you Sign up for my newsletter in the sign up box over there to the right, you’ll receive a first look-see at my Creative Mothers’ Manifesto!  Heartfelt impassioned words on the need for expressing creativity for your soul and being a better mother for it.

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