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On Bossing Yourself Around

Kids and big folks alike don’t want to be told what to do. At my house we jokingly say,”Because if you tell me to do it, I’m not gonna do it”. We quite openly use reverse psychology on our kids. “Hey Fiona, whatever you do, don’t go to the potty.” And off to the potty she goes. It works every time even though she knows exactly what we are up to. So bossing yourself can prove to be difficult as well.

I think a lot of us never grow out of that punk attitude of not wanting to be told what to do. Besides making it hard to follow instructions to maintain a job, this becomes another problem when we need to direct our own efforts. When we need to administrate and delegate our time and our efforts to meet our goals, we have to tell ourselves what to do and when to do it. If we just spend all of our time letting the wind decide which way we task ourselves, we may end up being quite upset at how we never seem to accomplish anything we think we should be doing.On Bossing Yourself Around on Shalavee.com

I know that creativity is a priority for me. And I have read enough to know that I can not wait for the muse to show up to be inspired to write or draw. These days, I may just sit myself down in the morning while I’m still fresh and write or draw before the gym or the grocery shopping. Self-leadership is the term I now understand to mean guiding myself towards my goals. And coming from an undisciplined punk background, this is a steep concept to embody.

Self-trust is my biggest buzz word. Your “word” needs to be good to yourself before you are trustworthy to the world. If you say you will do something, be that to yourself or someone else, you need to do it and make your word good. Building the self-trust within yourself is the number one pathway I can see to authenticity and self-esteem. If you don’t trust you, you aren’t believing in your commitment and your importance to yourself. And none of my goals will mean anything to me anyway.On Bossing Yourself Around on Shalavee.com

When we commit to guiding or “bossing” ourselves, and carry out our instructions, we prove we are worthy of the trust and we are building a relationship with ourselves. We are making friends with our Body Buddy.  The inner parent gets to boss but also gets to be proud of what you’ve accomplished. And this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Shadowy Places

I had the pleasure of a private communication with a friend recently and thanked her for her forthrightness on the subject of over-drinking. I mentioned her and the piece she wrote about her own experience getting through to a new place with that anxiety driven behavior when she inspired me to look at my behavior and see how my assumptions about my life were no longer true. And now I don’t have to quell needless anxieties anymore. Or not as much perhaps.

It struck me as significant when she said that many other of her connections had privately contacted her to give her their gratitude too. She said how much she appreciated how when we talked about what we thought we’d always have as our secret shames, this actually helped each of us bring light to the “shadowy places” and make our fears a lot less scary.Shadowy Places on Shalavee.com

The risk to be vulnerable ends up paying off with relief. And we pass the relief along to someone else who may need permission to not be terrified or ashamed. Our communications add humanity and compassion back into our lives. And I live for those moments when the light gets shined into a dark place and makes it suddenly seem so much less scary.

So give the world what you’ve got. Take a risk and ask for support and guidance and you will be bowled over by the gifts that may await you when you do.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

Endure and Enjoy Like a Cat

I’m walking into the gym, anticipating the discomfort of exercising and the whine of my joints as muscles. And then I think about how it is what it is until it isn’t anymore. Just be in the moment like a cat.Endure and Enjoy like a cat on Shalavee.com

Cats have this now mentality. If they’re in pain they think, this really sucks. They just live life one need and one emotion at a time. And when they’re happy and tired, they’re happy and tired.

Endure and Enjoy like a cat on Shalavee.com

Cat naps are their superpower because they are necessary. Knowing that you absolutely need to indulge in self-care in this way at this time must really take a lot of the guess-work out of life. Because cats know they are always worth it.Endure and Enjoy like a cat on Shalavee.com

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Your Community

The beginning of the year found me dreading my duties ahead. I had somehow volunteered to spearhead our fellowship’s fundraiser and I was not excited. My ego was dreadfully afraid of failing and two wise men gave me some extraordinary advice. One said, “your community will show up for you” and the other said, “if it fails, it’s your community that will have failed not you”. Permission and perspective were gained immediately.

 

Two days ago, I sent out an email requesting help with the food for this Cuban themed event. I needed some traditional cooking as well as some “buy it” and “pour it” in a bowl types of supplies. And within 12 hours, my people showed up and were on board for all the items. All of them. I could have cried.Your Community on Shalavee.com

 

Asking for anything is tremendously hard. You risk rejection when you ask. But when you are asking on behalf of a community, it feels like double jeopardy. Your good name and your cause are at stake. But our egos somehow forget that the Community concept means we are collectively responsible. In fact, those who care about the community as well are so glad that they’re not the one doing all the work, they’ll be glad to grab those chips or make that cake to show their gratitude for the efforts being made.

 

Equally important, how else can you learn your humility life lessons but through being of service to your community? Be that community your church, your school, your county, or gender, showing up holds so much power and impacts everyone. The efforts show us our value and shows others their value to us. In this instance, being in this process showed me how generous and loving my fellowship is when my fear of failure wanted to be my message.

Your Community on Shalavee.com

I will be immensely grateful to have accomplished this Herculean task and proven that I could. But I will also try not to lose sight that I must trust in my community as they have shown me their honor and reliability. Those are good reasons to keep being devoted. And I wanted to make sure that this lesson was not left unspoken.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Fall Soul Selfie Challenge is Here

On May 15th of 2016, I hosted my first Soul Selfie Challenge. As you may already know, I’m all about introspection. And I conceived of the hashtag #Soul_Selfie to house posts that I felt were deeper . And so naturally, next I had to offer up a week-long Instagram challenge to share some deeper thoughts with my community. Except, I was terrified!

I direct messaged a group of four people I trusted and asked them if I should host a challenge and their solid advice was to take the Nike approach and “Just Do It”. Bless their supportive little hearts because I went ahead and hosted that first one and it lifted my spirits so much. Some truly lovely people joined in with me on my challenge and I felt so wonderful and validated.

I would go on to host two more Soul Selfie challenges, later that year in October of 2016 and this past Spring in 2017. And it’s time again to do this challenge thing!

The idea is to take the prompt word and think about a story you can tell that you can be a little more honest about with yourself. To be seen a little more by owning a choice or a way of life that no longer serves you. Or perhaps one that changed your life in a great way. We are all so much more interesting than we first offer and that’s what I love about these challenges.

The other part I love about participating in challenges is all the yummy alliances and acquaintances we get to enjoy. I was on Instagram and didn’t have many friends and I dared myself to do a well-known challenge called April Love. I still have friends from that challenge. The Fall Soul Selfie Challenge id Here on Shalavee.com

So here we go… The Fall Soul Selfie Challenge of 2017 starts in three days! And I sooooo look forward to seeing what wonderful offerings show up on that hashtag page which now houses 494 posts! But I look more forward to getting to know more about a community that I hold dear and appreciate for supporting me and helping to raise me up in my self-worth. I am forever indebted.

If you have any questions about the challenge, direct message me on Instagram or Facebook or pop a comment in this post at the bottom.For a sampling of what the last Fall Soul Selfie Challenge held, see this post.

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