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Currently Browsing: Friendship

Your Worth and Your Community

It keeps coming up in my life, the importance of community to me. Aside from the understanding of community’s importance to our survival, where many hands guarantee we will eat and sleep safely under shelters, community is a place to find our own personal worth. That my gift to my community, however small, is still very important. My efforts are never without impact or purpose. It’s only in valuing this that the circle is completed. That the community itself is a life force, an entity that holds the people within, each with their own cog of the wheels that turn.

When you belong to a club, a church, or a group, you often join in the middle of its history. People with like minds and similar loves have come before and worked to create a place for me to belong. A “cloud of witnesses” is around us cheering us on to fulfill our purposes, do what we need to do, be together doing it.

And the notion that we are never alone but as a civilization of communities tied together, there’s a butterfly effect. Each of us unwittingly influences the other. In how we spread our thoughts, our generosity, our kindness, our smiles. How we live out loud with integrity and vulnerability to give another person courage. This is our gift to our communities and to the world.worth in your community on Shalavee.com

To be our best selves and to model what it looks like to be human and fallible and present. That each person has an inherent worth , a nobility of existence that in recognizing it’s value, rises the concept of community to a new level. That is the community I see myself belonging to. Will you join me?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Our 15th Wedding Anniversary

Dear Bubby,

Happy wedding anniversary! It’s been such a fast ride here. Where did the time go? My kind compassionate handsome do-good man. Our 15th anniversary on Shalavee.com

When we met, we were well aware of what a bad marriage decision looked like. And we knew this was a good one. We have two cute smart kids and careers that are absolute reflections of our talents and passions.

We are a home. And I’m happy to be here. You and I created a place where we are free to be us, and where our children feel safe. It’s old and leaky sometimes but it’s comfy. Our 15th anniversary on Shalavee.com

I am so glad you fell into my life when you did in a slightly fateful sort of way. I am always grateful for you and your hard work and efforts to be what you need to be for your family. I’m proud of you for everything you do. Our 15th anniversary on Shalavee.com

I love you and am proud to be your Missus.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Wisdom from Sam Wheatley : Learning Our “Fitting In” Lessons

A very wise friend of mine Samantha Wheatley, has just become a life coach and her newsletters always offer me something good to think about. Last week’s thought gift was about “fitting in” and how the people we meet that we are most comfortable with are the ones who aren’t trying to be anything other than themselves. A powerful lesson to teach our children by example. Learning to just be ourselves and stop seeking others approval. Here’s the excerpt from her amazing newsletter.

Children are so often presented with opportunities at school or when they are around other kids, where they feel they have to prove themselves. And these situations can often lead to the child feeling left out or as if there is something wrong with them if they are not accepted by their peers.

My friend and I talked about how we try to teach our children to be themselves, to NOT try to fit in to please others.
And it became very apparent that we can learn so much from this.

What we want for our children is something we can give to ourselves also.

I think the reason we feel so deeply for our children when they are faced with the feeling as though they don’t fit in, is that we know what that feels like.
WE remember how we felt when we were in the same position, as children and as adults.
We can all relate to feeling as though we are trying so hard to please, to be accepted, to belong.

How about accepting ourselves first?
How about belonging to ourselves? 
How about fitting in in our own skin?

When you come across a person who is accepting of themselves and is not trying to prove anything to anyone, the confidence and ease with which they carry themselves just oozes out of them. When we can do this for ourselves, we no longer feel the need to want to please others or be accepted by others. We are comfortable in our own skin and abilities and talents and we no longer are concerned with how others feel about us.”


First Middle School breakfast on Shalavee.com

Lead our children by example is all we can ever do. Knowing this, I can only model self-acceptance and self-love and hope that they receive the rest of this lesson in their lives as they watch and learn on their own.

Go to her website here if you’d like to wander around her site or receive her wisdom in your email box too.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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How I Make Your Triumphs into My Losses

I feel bad about the way I’ve treated you. You are such a good friend but I have a guilty secret. Sometimes I put you up on a pedestal and then use your accomplishments to feel bad about myself. I want to celebrate with you and feel like your equal, but I just end up feeling inferior. And I feel that I’ve put a great big blockage into our relationship.

Remember when you announced that amazing break you had last year? I know you worked hard to get it and I was immediately conflicted between wanting to celebrate with you and wanting to be soooo jealous of you. I hope you didn’t notice I made it all about me. I’d be mortified if you noticed. So I just keep my jealousy to myself and live my own life of desperation and futility.Playing on the floor on Shalavee.com

I work so hard to come up with brave tasks to tackle. I challenge my fears at every corner doing the things I dread most in order to improve myself. But then another post comes up that tells me you had something else great happen to your career or your house or your family. And then I spiral. I compare your outsides to my insides and always come up with the crappier end of the equation.

I’m not the only one I know who does this. You might do it too. And that’s maybe why I bring this up. Because if you knew I was doing it and I knew we were doing it together then maybe we’d have a better time of feeling good about being right where we are. Accomplishments and failures alike, we are just all coexisting and hoping for happiness. the tunnel on shalavee.com

So I promise the next time I want to take your success and add it to my failure column, I’ll stop. And I’ll try to remember that there were probably many items and things in your life that didn’t go so well too. That you didn’t share those but if we talked, you might. So for now, I’m going to value my life on my own merits and not on the demerits I got from your good fortune.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit. If you Sign up for my newsletter in the sign up box over there to the right, you’ll receive a first look-see at my Creative Mothers’ Manifesto! Heartfelt impassioned words on the need for expressing creativity for your soul and being a better mother for it.

Summer ’16 Continues

We’ve been at this Summer thing for about a month and a week. And thankfully it has felt less laborious as previous Summers. I have better self-esteem than I used to so I’m not rushing to see all the bad things about to befall me. These things will or won’t befall me but at least we can have a plan and some fun in the meantime.Emma and Fiona eating dogs on shalavee.com

Emma and Eamon on Shalavee.com

I’ve enjoyed the lazier feeling of the mornings. Children have played together quite nicely which, with their age difference, seems miraculous. Fiona screams about everything all the time anyway so I’m trying to just ignore her and let Eamon handle it.Fiona and Emma on the alligator on shalavee.com

The kitty cats got themselves a Summer cold aka upper respiratory infections. They have created a soundtrack of wet sneezes for a week as the first one is getting over hers and the second two are following. Luckily we humans have yet to suffer any colds or flues this year that were “bad”, knock on wood. I keep telling the children they can’t catch the kitty’s colds.stormy sky over Greektown leaving Baltimore on Shalavee.com

Summer firepit on Shalavee.com

And so very exciting, last week in between kitty sneezes, this black snake showed up in my second floor hallway. After placing several calls to men I knew who might come to save me, I went ahead and saved myself. Used the bin to trap him/her and then he/she was escorted outside to freedom.

Hey mr black snake on Shalavee.com Mark’s tomatoes are doing so well that he just had to fortify the cages yesterday with posts lest the monstrous plants knock themselves over in their sprawl. Fruit should be forthcoming within the month. I can’t wait for real tomatoes ! But I’ll have to.

painting with Unky John on Shalavee.com

Peanut gallery for the fireworks on Shalavee.com

Unky John and Fiona in the dingy on Shalavee.com

Goofballs of all sizes in Summer on Shalavee.com

Our holidays with our friends and family have been so satisfying. Happy to see and be with our loved ones. The children know that they’ve got lots of people who love them and I can’t think of a greater gift of knowledge to give them.

After our vacation to Ocean City, I got the obligatory sunburn but we’ve more visiting to do, a few more camps to attend, and a few more beach visits to sneak in. I have yet to eat a steamed Maryland blue crab so that needs remedying. Perhaps a crab feast again on my birthday! That’ll be the grand finale to the season. My big 50. fireworks over the creek on Shalavee.com

Hope your holidays, or winter days, are treating you well. That you are doing your best and letting go of the rest. And when you’ve caught up, you relax. That’s where I want to be.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit. If you Sign up for my newsletter in the sign up box over there to the right, you’ll receive a first look-see at my Creative Mothers’ Manifesto! Heartfelt impassioned words on the need for expressing creativity for your soul and being a better mother for it.

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