Currently Browsing: Friendship
Sep 5, 2014
I had one of those apples to oranges moments a couple of weeks ago and again last week. The one where I compared where I was to where I believed someone else was and then despaired over it. Compared my insides to someone else’s outsides. And it wasn’t just a moment, it lasted a couple of days. I sat with it willing it to wash over me.
There are many women writers and bloggers online I greatly admire. I feel honestly lucky to be able to read their writing and be moved by them. And in a wobbly moment, I found myself thinking, “I really can’t write like that. Not that well.” Which is partially true. I write the way I do and they the way they do and our writings are sometimes as good in different ways. But each of us is always the best person for the “being us” job.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Until you get a rejection letter and those other people get published on Huffington Post the next day. Then, as you’re trying to be gracious and share and support them, they go and get published again. And they gush at how they can’t believe it. That’s when the girl with the new Barbie Dream House needs to go suck it.
Seems my definition of myself in my head is the girl who’ll never get the Barbie Dream House. I don’t drive the right pink sports car. I don’t hang out with the hip Kens. And even Skipper thinks I’m weird and shoves me towards those Bratz dolls. But this gal with the new Barbie Dream House who I’m trying so hard not to envy? She’s also the gal who would out herself in a snappy momentito for feeling begrudging of another’s success.
So I took my time and I let that possible resentment go into the cosmos. And I resigned myself to resubmit something else to Huff Post and something else again. Because her hard work and my hard work are commendable and the apples and the oranges might be fruit but there are many many different factors in having them flourish and be added to fruit salads all over the globe. Styles and editors and forces that be just need to have the antes upped.
And no one is begrudging me my Barbie Dream House but me.
Jul 14, 2014
When Mark and I began to look at houses on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, we took a look at Chestertown. This fabulous little town perched on the Chester River is chock full of historical houses and charm oozes from every crack between every brick.
It was a little far from our appointed distance to DC work radius but charmed is charmed.
I have had occasion to make some return visits recently. The first time with my friend Amy and her boy who’s my son’s buddy. There is an annual May weekend festival called the Tea Party in Chestertown.
A puppet show, fried food, and a chance to sit by the river to wave at The Sultana as she sailed by. Fun.
I then returned the third weekend in June to visit the famed Chestertown Farmer’s Market and catch up with newlywed Christina. See the fabulous pictures of her wedding in this post.
The town has really bloomed since we first visited there 14 years ago. Many of the houses have been renovated making it a destination retirement village of a sort for monied and artsy types. Because the price tags on these charming restored residences are phenomenal. Christina’s watching all the listings while she lives in a charming teeny tiny house.
There’s an Arts Center, the same little coffee shop called Play It Again Sam, and a new and very popular bakery/coffee place called Evergrain Bakery Company.
Chocolate croissant and a baguette for me. Baguette and coffee for Christina. People watching for Fiona. Fiona was so full of herself standing in the middle of the crowd queued up for croissants and café au lait.
Young owner, great story.
Fiona, Christina, and I strolled around town taking pictures and making friends. And then came back through the market to pick up a few things. Her sister was selling her organic eggs and Christina bought me the loveliest colored dozen of eggs I’ve ever had.
Such a nice day. A great destination for a jaunt, a stroll, and a Farmer’s Market kinda Saturday with charming company.
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Jul 2, 2014
He got irritated with me. And I returned the irritation. In his head, he was trying to help me. In mine, I didn’t understand what he was doing. I hadn’t asked for the help that he was aggravated I wasn’t being grateful for. Miscommunication.
He says something is wrong. Every day this week there’s been something wrong. And I think he’s telling me that it needs to be fixed by me immediately. I feel irritated because I’m exhausted from fixing his complaints. Miscommunication re-occurrence. Do I get to be aggravated at you for what I think you said or need from me? Or do you have to actually say it ?
I come from a well-practiced league of mind readers. I think we could have made some real money if we’d hooked up with a traveling band of gypsies and taken our act on the road. Because I am certain I know what you are thinking. About me, about us, about the situation we are in. I guess that keeps me ready for action? Protects me against unjust thoughts that might become unjust actions. Forewarned is forearmed.
But this “knowledge” proves to cause more problems in the longer run. Resentments get harder to trudge through, to move our relationship along. Perceived evils and ill-intents eventually muck and rut our road so badly that we can no longer traverse it. Better just to part ways and say goodbye then.
Unless I were to ask you what you thought I was saying. And then you would get to hear me say I didn’t mean it that way. Or I’m sorry you thought that and were hurt because this is what I really meant by this. Isn’t that what you wish people said to you yesterday even? Isn’t the best advice to exhibit the behavior that you want others to exhibit, especially children. Because they’re watching. And listening. And when you pass the buck and blame others, they’ll annoy you with that same blame behavior later.
I am proud to say I’m not the yelling parent I once thought I was becoming. Now I want to be the ‘own my own stuff and communicate through and over the bumps’ parent. To make the roads of living with people easier to navigate. And to feel proud of my integrity and intent. They do as I do, not as I say. And I have never had any business being in your head. Clearing out space to make better choices for me means I have to dump anything I think you’re thinking off the shelves. Either let me know how you feel or let me let go.
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Visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or you can find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness. Thanks to you as always for your visit. We’ll talk if you want to.
Jun 30, 2014
Christina just became a Missus this past month. She’s a friend I’ve made recently and she is just so beautiful and sweet. We met through the promotion and development of the town I live in. She lives in a charming town an hour to the north called Chestertown on the Chester River. And we have maintained a lunching chatting status for over a year and become friends. When I visited her with a wee Fiona Over the Bridge last year, that was the day she told me Dan had proposed. I was extremely flattered when she then included me and my husband in her nuptial celebration. Husband the lighting guy also did her wedding lighting and her sister’s too.
The wedding was held at an old Episcopal church deep into the Shore country in a parish that claimed to have been established in 1693. The church was tiny, had a turnbuckle holding the sides in, and had the charming waterside graveyard and gigantic tree for a wedding party photo-op.
She and Dan are just perfect for each other and their sweet anticipation for their moment was palpable in the church. And to watch her joy after wards was the cherry on top. Her beauty shone through her beauty. The pictures I took of her here needed no touching up.
The reception was held at her parents house on Rock Hall and many of the people we know from our little town were there. So it was fun to dance with them and sit with them at the celebration. My husband and I are the ones on the right in the orange dress and blue shirt.
We had to scoot home too early as it was an hours drive away. And thankfully the rain didn’t let down until the end of the night. So Christina remains a lucky bride. I think it’s so important to attend weddings to remember the promise of the union of two people. And these two have so many people who love them, the toast speeches were wonderful. The food was fabulous. And the tent lighting, if I must brag, looked great. Congratulations to Tina and Dan Divilio.
If you are getting married on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, Baltimore, Maryland, or In the District of Columbia and were thinking about lighting for your event, give my husband a call. He’s a great guy and talented too.
Jun 9, 2014
As I’ve written before, I love me some Instagram. What began as a just a “you look at my cool pictures and I look at your cool pictures” has become much more. It’s about storytelling for me. But it’s also about knowing other people’s stories. And it’s also about improving my ability to capture and spice up and frame an image for the storytelling.
I like the engagement more than I do the numbers. Whereas many people hashtag (make it searchable by others with a key word) the heck out of their pictures to garner more likes, I would rather have people come and like it enough to tell me they do. To engage me.
I truly like being involved in others’ challenges/projects and people’s interactions and interpretations of the picture prompts. And I was part of an ongoing pictorial collage project recently for Nothing’s Ordinary. When I saw their fabric prompt, I went back and hashtagged my image of a fabric stack from a previously taken challenge photo and they chose it to use in this collage. I had maybe entered their challenge twice. So I was tickled to have it chosen. My picture is on the top right.
Here’s some other pictures that I have posted within the past month.
Discovering other people’s beautiful visions while poking at my fiddle phone just seems like a simple honest pleasure. When I only have a half hour of coffee time to do what I want in the AM.
If you have an interest to keep an eye on what I’m up to, follow me on Instagram, twitter, or Facebook from these links or via the icons in the sidebar. And engage me. We’ll talk.
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