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Torn Between the Garden and the Spring Cleaning : First World Problems

I can remember being very impatient with the way the seasons would take their time to move on. It seemed like an infinity to wait before Spring would arrive. I feel very differently now at twice the age. I like how long Winter takes because I don’t have as much to be responsible for while it’s cold out.

But once the sun begins to shine and the windows open up, I’m screwed. Because suddenly there’s Spring cleaning to do since the beautiful new sunlight angles are showing me exactly where I’ve been missing all Winter. And now I have to hustle outside and clean up, seed, plant, and replant everything in the garden everywhere.Torn Between the Garden and the Spring Cleaning : First World Problems on Shalavee.com

I have no plan so I panic. And what if I don’t get the seeds in quickly enough? And now I have all the outside life to be responsible for besides the indoor life. So that every beautiful day, if I’m not going to spend it outside gardening feels like I’m wasting it. Gardening doesn’t start off so well for me emotionally.

Eventually I’ll enjoy it. I’ll be proud of something or another. But in the meantime, I’m thinking of calling in a few favors and hiring some help. Windows and woodwork and bathroom cleaning isn’t my idea of joyful time spent. And I’m a Virgo so don’t even ask me to ignore all this dirt. Just encourage me to rethink how I’m going to get all the work done.

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What if You Find Yourself in a Hole?

Say you find yourself in a hole? You have been in the hole your entire life but you just never looked up. But one person then another person told you to look up. And now you know you’re in a hole.

There are several choices you can make. If you are actually slightly mentally imbalanced, you can convince yourself that that was some kind of dream and those people are crazy, not you. And then you can continue to live in the hole and forget you ever saw you were in a hole.

You can become obsessed with the fact that you have just realized you were in a hole and run around screaming to everyone that “we all live in a hole!”. That will probably get you nowhere. They may even shun or stone you because they do not want this information. They may be overwhelmed by that fiction because that would mean having to look at their lives as lies and then start a whole new life of hole awareness.

Or you can turn to those that showed you that you were living in a hole and ask them how you can all help each other out of the hole. Because you know once you’ve seen this, you can not unsee this. And your integrity understands that the most challenging moments in life bring you the greatest and most beautiful lessons.

For me, this was exactly how I felt when I began to understand how I have been a victim to the patriarchal society all of my life. How I have been applying their judgments to myself and my body. No one has had to keep me down because I’m still doing it myself.

What does this analogy bring up for you? Have you found yourself here before?

Interested in reading my future thoughts on Creative Soul Living?

Enter your name into the subscription box in the sidebar to the right and subscribe to my bi-weekly posts via your emailbox.

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I love community, soulful candid conversation, and being in touch.

And as always, thank you for your visit.

 

Moments of Profundity

I tried to sit with my thoughts today. To write. To extract some sort of profound truth from my day. And my brain said “sploop”.

Moments of profundity sometimes won’t show up on demand betwixt days and days of 7 year old daughter harassment and 15 year old son idiocy. So be it.

It may be enough that I breath today. And that’s OK.

Happy Monday and I wish you profound moments in the coming week. I find life is a little more fun with profundity.

Interested in reading my future ponderings on Creative Soul Living?Subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my weekly posts via your emailbox.

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Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too.

I am a community kinda person and am always practicing Intentional Intouchness.

I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Grow Through What You Go Through

Grow through what you go through.

The best way out is always though.

For me, the largest shift happened not because I chose for it to happen

But because I stopped stopping it from happening.

My story two years ago,

The Fear shield comes up.

It disallows all the work I’ve done prior to matter.

Infantalizing me, ignoring all my efforts, it insists it needs to keep me safe in its way.

But I’ve done all of this work i say. I’ve studied and thought and grieved to get here.

Let me pass.

But there was always an impasse. Until l introduced anti-anxiety medication into my equation.

Then an unexpected shift happened.

I felt less resistance to my thoughts and dreams. My perpetual daily fear tape stopped running.

And I began to feel hope and movement.

Growth wanted to happen. It took all my learning and knowledge and applied it.

And fear took a back seat.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Safe for Just Five Things

Another word for my Just Five Things course, Safe. These are my first five immediate thoughts on this word.

As a woman, my first struggle with safety is always from not holding back from saying and being who I really am. I have had stones thrown at me when I expressed theories and truths deemed unacceptable. People regard me in silent horror as I say what I think. I am kind but I’m not nice. That is unsafe.

Safe from sickness? Someone in my family contracted the Covid-19 virus and they were through it and well before they knew as the  symptoms were atypical. I know my children and I would would most likely recuperate fine and then we could be Teflon people. But our elderly parents are the ones we are keeping safe. Anyone remember how chicken pox was something you wanted your kids to contract? You don’t know until you know, you know?

The largest part of who I am is needing to have my kids feel safe. In he beginning of our coronacation, I have fussed and hovered like I did when we would take our littles on vacation and I’d worry they couldn’t sleep. I’d be the sleepless one while the kids would pass out happily. They have done well, broken down and cried on and at me. But their feelings have been honored and I feel successful that they feel safe. However, it’s exhausting to care for people this hard. Especially dramatic redheaded daughters.Safe for Just Five Things on Shalavee.com

My husband and I venture to the store like bandits. Other than wearing our masks and cleaning our hands immediately, we don’t take extra precautions such as wiping each item down. I feel safe enough that our rural town is largely unaffected. And I’m also not wanting to worry too much about what I can’t control. And that’s the place where mental safety becomes a mind feck. How much can we truly control? When do we let go and let God?

I stay mentally safe by not watching the news. My husband reports plague numbers or news tidbits (RIP Eddie Haskell) and that lack of too much information makes me feel safe. I am proud to say I haven’t laid my eyes on the pompous orange faced 45th president but maybe thrice during his reign. I’m not missing anything, I’m certain.

We feel pretty safe here in our first world abode. It’s dusty and leaky but we are not at risk of having people break in while we sleep and drag us out of our beds and incarcerate or murder us. Some people in the world will never feel this kind of safety. Organic grapes aren’t a thing where they live. So gratitude for the levels of unsafety I feel today.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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