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Grow Through What You Go Through

Grow through what you go through.

The best way out is always though.

For me, the largest shift happened not because I chose for it to happen

But because I stopped stopping it from happening.

My story two years ago,

The Fear shield comes up.

It disallows all the work I’ve done prior to matter.

Infantalizing me, ignoring all my efforts, it insists it needs to keep me safe in its way.

But I’ve done all of this work i say. I’ve studied and thought and grieved to get here.

Let me pass.

But there was always an impasse. Until l introduced anti-anxiety medication into my equation.

Then an unexpected shift happened.

I felt less resistance to my thoughts and dreams. My perpetual daily fear tape stopped running.

And I began to feel hope and movement.

Growth wanted to happen. It took all my learning and knowledge and applied it.

And fear took a back seat.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Safe for Just Five Things

Another word for my Just Five Things course, Safe. These are my first five immediate thoughts on this word.

As a woman, my first struggle with safety is always from not holding back from saying and being who I really am. I have had stones thrown at me when I expressed theories and truths deemed unacceptable. People regard me in silent horror as I say what I think. I am kind but I’m not nice. That is unsafe.

Safe from sickness? Someone in my family contracted the Covid-19 virus and they were through it and well before they knew as the  symptoms were atypical. I know my children and I would would most likely recuperate fine and then we could be Teflon people. But our elderly parents are the ones we are keeping safe. Anyone remember how chicken pox was something you wanted your kids to contract? You don’t know until you know, you know?

The largest part of who I am is needing to have my kids feel safe. In he beginning of our coronacation, I have fussed and hovered like I did when we would take our littles on vacation and I’d worry they couldn’t sleep. I’d be the sleepless one while the kids would pass out happily. They have done well, broken down and cried on and at me. But their feelings have been honored and I feel successful that they feel safe. However, it’s exhausting to care for people this hard. Especially dramatic redheaded daughters.Safe for Just Five Things on Shalavee.com

My husband and I venture to the store like bandits. Other than wearing our masks and cleaning our hands immediately, we don’t take extra precautions such as wiping each item down. I feel safe enough that our rural town is largely unaffected. And I’m also not wanting to worry too much about what I can’t control. And that’s the place where mental safety becomes a mind feck. How much can we truly control? When do we let go and let God?

I stay mentally safe by not watching the news. My husband reports plague numbers or news tidbits (RIP Eddie Haskell) and that lack of too much information makes me feel safe. I am proud to say I haven’t laid my eyes on the pompous orange faced 45th president but maybe thrice during his reign. I’m not missing anything, I’m certain.

We feel pretty safe here in our first world abode. It’s dusty and leaky but we are not at risk of having people break in while we sleep and drag us out of our beds and incarcerate or murder us. Some people in the world will never feel this kind of safety. Organic grapes aren’t a thing where they live. So gratitude for the levels of unsafety I feel today.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Keep Safe and Keep Walking

Besides wanting to fight off the extra pounds that will be attempting to attach themselves to my butt during this plague season, the reason that I exercise regularly is so that I can sleep harder and better. It’s good to alleviate stress and get me away from my family who is getting on my nerves and, Yes, I know it’s good for my heart and essentially will allow me to live longer to see my kids grow up. But I hate not sleeping well. It’s a waste of downtime.Keep Safe and Keep Walking on Shalavee.com

But with the recent restrictions piling up about keeping distance away from people, we all start to think that we need to stay inside where it’s “safe”. In fact, when I went out walking, I found it equally odd that people refused to meet my gaze. You know you can’t get this virus by eye contact right? I began to question if exercising was verboten and banned as well and we were exercisers were all guilty of some crime.Keep Safe and Keep Walking on Shalavee.com

Then I came across this article today on Medium titled This Is the Exercise Your Body Needs During the Coronavirus Outbreak written by science writer Christie Aschwanden, which spoke to the exact issue of exercise. I’m sharing what I read to empower everyone out there who values exercise as much as I do. (As for those who don’t really want to exercise, I wonder whether they’re just happy to have an excuse not to have make any more effort than obsessively worry about the end of the world.) Seems that we need to alleviate our stress with exercise.Keep Safe and Keep Walking on Shalavee.com

“In this time of danger and uncertainty, we all need to engage in self-care, and exercise is one of the best tools we have to keep ourselves well.”

You can exercise outside while still adhering to social distancing guidelines. Even under California’s “shelter-in-place” order, going outside for a walk or exercise is allowed, as long as you keep six feet apart from other people. No matter where you live, whether walking, running, or cycling, if you come upon another person on your path, move away to maintain a distance of at least six feet as you pass. Avoid touching things like jungle gyms, parcourse equipment, or gates that could have come into contact with someone carrying the novel coronavirus.”Keep Safe and Keep Walking on Shalavee.com

And PS, speaking with people, as in saying “HI!” and “How are you?” is actually a considerate thing to do when you walk by someone, even 6 feet apart. And making eye contact and smiling is always the respectful way to meet people. So many people need hugs right now and smiling and acknowledging people is a way of giving mental hugs out without touching.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Monday Gratitude Journal Post

I feel so fortunate this week. Let me name you the reasons why.

  • My blog is on it’s way to being a big girl’s site. Read about how I was feeling in February.
  • I created beautiful pictures that I am proud of and are so ME to use in the redesign.
  • I wrote and edited the heck out of a piece for International Women’s Day on self-bullying that was the best I could write. It’ll be published on another site to link back to me! That’s what bloggers do, you see.
  • My anxiety is at bay. No more swirling vortex episodes in over a year.
  • I am hosting a creativity challenge and am so happy to be in community with all these lovely people! I am a rich woman in my soul.
  • My daughter Fiona is turning 7 this week. She is happy and beautiful and a blessing to everyone she meets.
  • My son is so talented and engaged in using his talents, it’s all I ever want for kids his age, especially him.
  • I am moving forward, not stalled and frozen, in so many ways.

That concludes my Monday gratitude journal post. I hope everyone is feeling the hope of Spring or Fall in your own worlds. And you sleep well this evening.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Stop Apologizing to Me People

During the past month, I have noticed a rather disturbing trend. People perpetually apologize for themselves. I’ll just be walking, enough room for all of us to walk, and suddenly someone will pass me by and apologize for themselves. I can not figure out why they have apologized. And this has happened at least four times in a month.

Why are we compelled to apologize for our existence? Am I truly sorry I was born? While I’ve met people who are mad that they were born and there’s not a daggone thing you can do for them, however being sorry for taking up space in the same area as another person seems weird. Now if you ran over my foot or took my parking space or burped in my face, you can totally apologize to me.Stop Apologizing to Me People on Shalavee.com

I found myself saying out loud, “Oh please don’t apologize.” Or “there’s no need to apologize”. Whether they believed me or not is theirs not mine. But I can tell you, I won’t be uttering any random apologies this year. Only well founded apologies with good cause. Because I believe in good manners, but I will not apologize for my existence anymore. Sorry not sorry.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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