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Misunderstand and Misunderstood

Fact is, anytime we are out in the world, we have the possibility to encounter people. People who can be as wonderful as they are annoying. A chance to be misunderstood and misunderstand one another. A chance to experience the joy of human gifts of compassion as well as the same chance to create conflict.

I had two negative experiences in this world recently. But it was also pointed out to me that I am a knee jerk to feelings kinda person instead of considering the facts and circumstances and then deciding kinda person. Mostly, what happens in the world, especially with random strangers, isn’t about you. It only reflects the fears you may have about what people are thinking about you.

The first occurrence was at the grocery store. I had 27 items and entered the 12 items or less line with no one in the line or behind me. And as I’m unloading the cart , Fiona takes over, and I see a man with a basket behind us, and I begin to pack my own bags. I am the only customer who does this at this store. As the last item goes in, the teller who I’ve never seen before says, “For future reference, this aisle is for 12 items or less. People are in a hurry.” And I just smiled and told her the card reader hadn’t read my card when I’d swiped it. Misunderstand and misunderstood on Shalavee.com

It was shame attack. She was calling me rude and inconsiderate. I should have turned to the line behind me and apologized for the inconvenience and turned the thing around. But my daughter started to whine for candy. And I was done.

The next time I was there, I told Eamon to stare a hole through checker number 244 in the 12 item line again. I then let the gentlemen behind me in line play through as they had a beverage and were getting a bag of ice. I packed my own bags again. I felt I’d paid it forward. Who knows what her deal was but it was one of those moments that you continue to replay because you want it to un-happen. I know how many times I let people in front of me. And I always ask the checker if it’s OK if I have over a dozen items, except this once. Bad timing and I’m not rude.Misunderstand and misunderstood on Shalavee.com

The next situation was the other day when I got my last round of shots in my SI joints. The nurse needed to take my blood pressure before and after the procedure. I had not requested Valium this time for the procedure. I was already vulnerable, perhaps PMS, and then I had lots needles stuck into my backside. When I left the procedure room, I was so happy to be done. Until I sat back into the chair.

My blood pressure had raised. I assured her I didn’t need a blood pressure cuff at home. She pushed, “Well this is really high”. I said I had been to the doctors multiple times and I never had a problem. And we waited for a few minutes and then she took it again and insisted that I take my blood pressure when I’m just in my regular life, go into the Rite Aid she said. Surely she just meant well. When I got into the car, I cried. And over lunch, I read their release instructions. Seems steroid shots can elevate your blood pressure. No shit.

Again, she knows that the leading cause of women dying at my age is from stroking out, from high blood pressure. But after a dozen doctor’s appointments in the last three months, my husband agreed that I am usually 134/85. I felt vulnerable and what I chose was to go with feeling attacked. I was not giving her the benefit of being a nurse, even though her chair side manner had a bit to be desired. Again, I could have said,”I’m sure you are not trying to be condescending to me and you do realize I just had multiple needles stuck in my bum. But, just like the other situation, I just wanted out of there. I was held hostage in the last yucky procedure I plan to have this year.

It’s hard to separate ourselves from our circumstances and the people in them sometimes. We shade these occurrences, what’s happening with how we’re feeling. We see through those feelings and make a decision about what has happened. Or maybe that’s just me.Thanks for letting me rant. Because it is my blog.

That’s a few bad stories from my life recently but I promise there are way better stories happening now. I’ll be writing those next.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Proof That I Have More Guts Than You

This past Friday, I willingly subjected myself to my obligatory “You just turned 50!” booby prize procedure and had my very first colonoscopy. Yes I know, am I really 50 already ? I made sure I dyed my daggone roots before I went so they would feel it necessary to card me and make sure I was old enough. Best news is, with this done, I have nothing more to dread for the upcoming year. And I was compelled to tell all because it seems I have more guts than most.

My body based homework from my annual exam included a full panel of bloodwork, my yearly mammogram (getting my boobies squashed), and that horror procedure reserved for the newest eligible members for the American Association of Retired Citizens, the colonoscopy.

This procedure is the number one thing everyone dreads. Foremost, it means you have to fast for 36 hours. You have to pop laxatives like they’re candy and then drink almost a gallon of fluid laced with thankfully tasteless stool softeners. It’s the prep that’s the hell. Concerned that I hadn’t yet cleared myself out 5 hours beforehand, I was forced to drink one last liquid bomb at 5 am. And in telling this to my doctor before I was knocked out for the procedure, I said that I suspected something was going on in there. My colon is like the lazy river at the theme park. I often suspect my body of trying to make butt diamonds.

After a marvelous and speedy sleep and wake up administered by the most kick butt anesthesiologist ever, I was informed that, yes, there’s a reason for my seemingly slower than molasses in the wintertime bowels : I have more guts than normal people. Literally, my innards are lengthier than other people’s which I later found out is called a redundant colon. Just in case, here’s some more exit ramp. Annoying but true.

Then I thought, if you thought me a little more brazen and risk-taking than other people,  I now have actual proof you are right!  I do have more guts than other people. Hahahahahaha ! Proof That I Have More Guts than You on Shalavee.com

After the procedure, as I had announced on social media on my boring long fasting day, I was ready to go eat my predestined cheese steak sub. After some thoughtful discussion, my husband and I decided to take our business to a well established Easton, Maryland eatery in the strip mall that houses the JC Penney and the Kohl’s stores, called Rusticana Pizza. Exactly what I had wanted. The cheese steak submarine was made with care, the fries were soft on the inside and crunchy on the outside as they always are, and I washed it down with a coke over crushed ice. That hit the spot. Mark’s Stromboli was great too. I kept being reminded of the one delicious bite I took by my burps throughout the day. Our waitress has worked there a long time and her dearness just added to my gratitude.

And what I learned too was how I can see fasting as a noble religious practice. It will show you what you are and aren’t made of. I am not the sum of the contents of my belly or my fat cells. I can withstand discomfort and still live. I was glad that it all went well and that the found polyp was benign. Does however guarantee that I’ll be another total colon cleanse years from now. Yeah because who doesn’t need a complete colon reset every once in a while?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Hallelujah it’s Halloween 2016

And lastly, Halloween wraps up my month straight of posts in October, 2016. I used to really celebrate this holiday when I was younger. Even way into my 30’s, Mark and I had a great time dressed as a pirate and his cabin boy. And a pimento loaf and cheese sandwich. Kids came and its now all about them and their fun and costumes. I made sure I decorated this year 4 days ahead to make it real and Fiona babbled with excitement when she got home and saw the decorations.halloween-at-turnbridge-point on Halloween 2016 on Shalavee.com

fiona-and-juliet-at-the-trunk-or-treat

In a wonderful article by fellow blogger Rae Ritchie here called “Forget Bah Pumpkin! Hallowe’en is just a handy excuse for life’s good stuff”, she gives a fabulous reflection of how this holiday is being embraced in Britain, previously skeptical of a holiday which seemed so American (or is it Irish?). And she insists that this holiday kicks butt because of three factors. For her it’s friendship, time to hang out and play with friends. For us it’s Family time. I so agree with her that it’s also Community involved fun. People get to dress up their houses and then visit one another. And thirdly, it’s creative as heck. From those house decorations to costumes, it’s fun to make stuff and be whacky with décor you’d otherwise be worried about being perfect.Halloween 2016 on Shalavee.com

bonfire-boo on Halloween 2016 on Shalavee.com

We try to carve pumpkins close enough to Halloween so that they won’t rot. And then on the night, after trick or treating we usually have grilled cheese, potato chips, and tomato soup for dinner and watch a scary movie. This year’s trick or treating night date however is on a Monday which is a school night. So we may enjoy our TV frightfest on Sunday night. Saturday night we did a bonfire/fire pit and I think that may become a part of the holiday traditions when the weather permits. So much fun opportunities this holiday provides.

Halloween 2016 on Shalavee.com

A Search for Halloween on the blog gave me this for 2012. This for 2013. And this for 2015. Soon to be 2016 under our belt. I might have fought the decorating a bit. And Eamon didn’t decide what he wanted to be until two days prior. But darn it, we had fun and played and created. Community and family and creativity and friendship was what Rae Ritchie said it was all about and I would agree! Happy Halloween!!!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Ravens and Crows

Ravens and their close cousins the crows always seem to make their appearance around now. Black figures circling overhead. I not only see them lurking about in flocks but I hear them in the trees making their specific noises. Some just a cawing while the Fish Crow saws “uh huh” “uh huh”. Audio for their calls can be found to the right of the descriptions on this All about birds site.

Ravens and crows were fellow blogger and artist Marissa’s inspiration for an artful mail piece she was making. Her Post here got me thinking as she had about the crows and ravens in mythology and lore. And I fell down the same rabbit, or raven, hole.

I went through a bit of exploration and research and managed to develop quite a fascination with ravens, sifting through poems such as Edgar Allan Poe’s ‘The Raven‘, folklore, fairy-tales, fables–almost picked Aesop’s The Crow and the Pitcher–so it isn’t too surprising that I went with this pair in the end … In Norse mythology, Huginn (from Old Norse “thought”) and Muninn (Old Norse “memory” or “mind”) are a pair of ravens that fly all over the world of Midgard, and bring information and news back to the god Odin. Flying messengers. Perfect. – – From Marissa’s Floating Lemons Blog

floating lemons art mail on Shalavee.com

So here’s all the fun pictures and artwork from Pinterest with the Raven and Crow theme that I found intriguing.

black keys coachella on Shalavee.com

crow country by sarah jarrod from Shalavee.com

Crow Country by Sarah Jarrod

child inside crow from Shalavee.com

Raven by Audrey Niffenegger, the author of the Time Traveler’s Wife

ravens and beards from Shalavee.com

Beards and Ravens!!!!

crows and leaves from Shalavee.com

Fine Art Prints by Carolyn Doe

crow and sun from Shalavee.com

The Naga, the Sun, and the Crow (based on a tale from Burma)

red winged blackbird from Shalavee.com

Unsure what this is but I really really like it.

crows from her head from Shalavee.com

Entitled A Feast For Crows, the pinner had this to say underneath.

“I blinked in dismay as her hair… or should I say crows, as they flew from her head. So I hadn’t been going bonkers, her hair was made of sleek feathers.”

prey by peter james field from Shalavee.com

Prey by Peter James Field

poems of Poe from Shalavee.com

poe poem from Shalavee.com

girl and bird from Shalavee.com

Koseatra seems to be a Polish corset maker.

bird and flower by Unity Coombs from Shalavee.com

Bird and flower by Unity Coombs

hitchcock and a raven from Shalavee.com

Hitchcock and a raven

poe illustration from Shalavee.com

Poe book art

grafitti from Shalavee.com

Graffiti street art

you'll follow the crows for it from Shalavee.com

An Irish expression, “Youll follow the Crows for it” meant that a person would miss something after it was gone.

anatomy of a crow from Shalavee.com

Jonelle Johnson Yearn for Words from Shalavee.com

Yearn For Words by artist Jonelle Johnson Yearn

the elms vintage robert frost from Shalavee.com

What fun this was. Hope you enjoyed it too. More Pinterest madness for the Halloween Holiday fun to come.

(Originally published Oct 29, 2014 I’m republishing…because it’s cool and I can)

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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The Next Ten Things You Didn’t know About Me

So so serious. I am always feeling like I’m taking myself so seriously. So this Friday, I wanted to do a Soul Selfie of another sort. Secrets and stories. Who am I?

Whereas last time on my video lunchtime chat, I spoke about what it is to blog and why I do it, this time I want to talk about me, who and what I am.

Do that “Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Me” kinda thing. Off the top of my head:

  1. I have a ghost fear about swimming that I gave to my kid. So that I never empowered him to swim. I earned it honestly with several near drowning incidents as a kid. But this Summer was all about giving him the confidence to swim. And I succeeded!
  2. Fiona my second baby at 46 was a “spontaneous” conception. There was no fertility help. I just began to worry that I was going to have to throw a wake for my fertility soon and I hedged my bets. Had no idea that there were tests to take. I just willed her into being.
  3. I was past 40 before I started to write and publish my essays on-line. 45 when I started to blog. I’m a believer in Late Blooming.
  4. I was a DIY-aholic when we bought this house. For a whole year it was all I did. I redid every room in this house before I stopped when I had kids. Only their rooms were done since. And recently, I’ve been reminded that I love it so much, I may need to start it up again to fulfill that part of my creativity needs.10 Things you may not know about me on Shalavee.com
  5. It took me 6 1/2 years to matriculate from the University. I skipped my last year of the all girls high school I was in and went to college. There were boys there with fancy haircuts and suntans. I worked the entire time and took a semester off and one part-time semester. My very last semester had me needing one credit in any upper level course so I took poetry. I memorized a Wordsworth poem.
  6. In my other life, I’d be an interior designer. See number 4. Were I to go back to school, that would be it. Set design too. Ooh La La.
  7. I suck at roller skating and ice skating. I’m a very athletic person, good at any sport you put me to doing. Except those.
  8. I had orthroscopic surgery inside my left shoulder to remove extra bone almost 20 years ago. Only surgery ever. And a shot recently in my left SI joint (near hip) to reduce pain from a bone spur tells me there’s more orthroscopic surgery in my future. That was in February. I just finished paying that off.
  9. Which brings me to the biggest secret of the year. We are now are covered under the government health insurance. We make little enough to have the government subsidize our health. We were paying $550 a month and now we’re not starting last May. I had Fiona with the government’s help, thank you US GOV. And our children have always been covered by their health program, I’d just never had them run our income for us. This subject was one I touched on when Fiona was in my belly in this piece and gave me my very first taste of hate mail and troll comments on the blog. A bit of an eye-opener for the very sensitive pregnant lady.
  10. And because I need one more, Number Ten !!! I have written 850 posts, I’m about to turn 50, and I never really lost that ten pounds permanently. And it doesn’t make me a bad person !!!10 Things you may not know about me on Shalavee.com

If you have actually stuck around to read this last one, you are the lucky winner of my undying admiration and devotion. If you are on Facebook, take a moment to pop over to my Shalavee Facebook page and see my videotaped self in live to recorded action. Like the page, take a look at the other videos. Something. Wednesday is another post day. Talk at you then.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit. If you Sign up for my newsletter in the sign up box over there to the right, you’ll receive a first look-see at my Creative Mothers’ Manifesto! Heartfelt impassioned words on the need for expressing creativity for your soul and being a better mother for it.

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