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Quietly Starting off 2020

I took a lot of lovely pictures during the Holidays but wasn’t compelled to share them. There’s a calm withdrawal from much of what I automatically have done. I want to find a deeper place to draw from. I am yearning for a profounder place of purpose. Authentically sharing what I know I need to and not because I think people will like me for it.

All of the changes I’ve made have come from my intuition. I watch people, I listen to what they say that makes sense to me, I incorporate the feeling and the thoughts, and I turn in the direction that makes more sense. Resetting my life’s compass is a combined effort of you and me, the reader in me and the writer in you and vice versa.Quietly Starting off 2020 on Shalavee.com

I also think that there can be way too much thinking going on in my brain. Waiting is fine but the best lessons come when we take a step in any direction and gauge what happens next. I have long meant to upgrade the blog site and many steps have been made and then halted. One big step I took in 2019 was to pick this up again. As terrifying as this is for me, and it truly is, I am also in need of being done stepping into a new skin, a new vehicle to inspire me and my readership.

So hold on to your hats, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride into the next phase of what Shalavee means to me and you.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Holidays without Anxieties Update

We’re in full holiday swing now and the mood is different than ever before. Because I’m different. Backstage at the Nutcracker night, I told the other mothers that I had been an ever-loving mess last year but I’m medicated this year. They laughed but this is my truth; I am a different person this year. And I owe that to making a life-changing decision to ask for medication for my anxieties.

Helping myself out of the perpetual swirling vortex of anxiety is allowing me to be present for myself, for my family, and also for others who can choose this for themselves. As my friend Siri on Instagram chimed in to say it better than I could have,

Holidays without Anxieties Update on shalavee.com

Fiona is all the way on the right

Best decision of 2019. Deciding to finally try meds for the depression I’ve battled for decades. It’s early days yet, and my doctor and I are still fiddling with dosages, but I already suspect that this could be, in the words of a friend, a game-changer. Why not sooner? Because it wasn’t “bad enough” – I was able to function wasn’t I? Because I was sure I could fix it without meds if I could just find the combination of lifestyle choices and cognitive-behavioural tools. Because stigma. Shout-out to Shalagh, whose openness encouraged me to try. Shout out to my wonderful husband and friends and family, who have been steadfast with their support as I start this new journey. Shout-out to me.”

Every change and every choice we make for ourselves has a snowball effect in our lives. When we choose to take better care of us, everyone benefits. And in my case, the holidays are more laid back and my hope is that my children will not inherit as much of the anxiety as we did from our parents. I am setting the scene and the tone for this very special time of year when my children deserve all the happiness promised them.

Happy Holidays to Everyone and I’ll be taking a hiatus from the blog to come back with surprises in the New Year!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Another Day, Another Sinus Infection

I have what is termed chronic sinusitis. A have a whopping good amount of allergies. When that got added to an undiagnosed deviated septum which only got operated on not two years ago,  I suffered numerous sinus infections in a year. When it’s really bad, it feels like I have dirt packed into my forehead. And I can hear the little bacterium multiplying as a clicking noise in my face.

Years later, I’m receiving weekly allergy shots and, even though I get way less infections in a year, I always feel a little scared when I get one because multiple antibiotics have failed on me. Imagine, if you get to the doctor’s office after you already start hurting, it still takes two days for the antibiotic to kick in. And imagine there’s a weekend stuck in there and then you call the doctor’s office back to let them know it’s not working and they never get back to you. That was my story this year.

I have had this sinus infection for almost three weeks (which doesn’t top the one I had from Thanksgiving to Valentine’s Day one year). I’ve had two antibiotics fail on me which I will make double darn sure are noted in my chart. And when I visited the doctor’s office in person for the second day in a row, I got an unexpected surprise:

An Apology from the office manager.Another Yer, another sinus infection on Shalavee.com

I got a new prescription on the spot for the antibiotic that I knew would work. Everyone was was mortified. I assured them that I was used to this and that I wasn’t mad, just looking froward to not having a sinus headache.

I get to the point where I think it’s my problem. Like I’m doing something wrong. Am I a hypochondriac? No, that pain means something. I was so proud of myself for continuing to advocate for myself as I fell through their system’s cracks. And that we all proved human after all was such a relief. A further snaffu with an order for a mammogram was straightened out and I have my booby squashing to look forward to too.

I have always been an advocate for my physical and mental health. I understand my body now so much better than I ever did. And I chose recently to change my primary care doctor because I would like a woman as I move into my menopausal years. I have committed to always following the breadcrumbs to my wellness. No one else cares or is as affected by it as much as me. Except maybe my family as they suffer when I suffer.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

What I Learned of Late

I am ruminating on a few lessons this week. Lessons about shame and forgiveness. Lessons on patience and persistence and presence. And lessons on paradox.

See, I am a learner. I am always keeping an eye and an ear open for the next lesson. And the only way I can see to have life be worth the hassle is to grab the lessons as they go by, even if they are prickly ones.

I learned recently that if something really really bothers you about what some one else said or did, it’s most likely reflective of something in you that you are not so proud of that you really see.

I learned that when we act like a jack-a$$, it’s usually because we are afraid of something. But I also found that if I say I’m sorry, own my behavior, and make amends, I feel like my soul is cleaner.

I learned that the reason I am so in hate with the gal in the mirror is because I am not allowed to be friends with a fat person. Even though there are plenty of people larger than me, this is the largest I’ve been since I was pregnant. Feels like a bodily conspiracy. This lesson has only begun.

I learned that if you show up out loud with integrity and authenticity, others will do the same. And you both will inspire more and more to do the same.

And I learned that community is always standing right beside you, you only need to reach out to it from wherever you are.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Soul Selfie 2019

We just wrapped up my third Soul Selfie Challenge hosted by me on Instagram. The first time I hosted this was in May of 2016, the second in October of 2017, and then this one was from the 1st to the 7th of December of 2020. I can say I am thrilled and fulfilled as a result of this challenge every time. There were 197 posts and maybe 20 people together for a week acting as a community.

The intention behind the challenge was to spend a week exploring prompts in a deeper fashion than we usually do online. And I am always so pleased to have people meet me there with their most authentic selves ready to communicate and exchange ideas. We converse on topics that are deep and true. I live for these conversations. The satisfaction for me is quick and powerful.

We had a few new faces and many from my prior challenges who honored the opportunity to show up and be present for themselves for a week. And I think we had some serious aha moments and shifts among us. Facilitating healing is a gift we can give to ourselves as well as to the world. When we show up authentically and take responsibility for ourselves and our actions, there’s no telling what can happen.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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