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Currently Browsing: Daily Shalagh

Waiting for Creating

For a very long time, I had no permission to be myself. Seems silly considering there wasn’t anyone threatening my life if I created. But it felt like a NO No. A hidden shame. An act of treason and insanity. Artists are crazy. You can only create if you have some sort of degree in art. You can’t make money doing it. You will be stoned to death if they find out what you are thinking.

Waiting for Creating on Shalavee.com

These messages are deeply rooted in our history. We’re kept in check by fear of authenticity and failure. Our parents want us to be pragmatic and stay safe and they pass these inane messages onto us meaning well. We so quickly forget that we owe our existences to innovators and creators who stepped out of their boxes and found a new way to do everything.

I read a quote online from Stephi Wagner, MSW. She said, “Please don’t wait to ‘be healed’ to do your creating. Your creating is your healing.” She further says, “Creating is an act of self-care. Creating is an act of self-love. Creating is and act of self-healing. You deserve to create because you deserve care, love, healing”.

Waiting for Creating on Shalavee.com

How can any of us believe we are so unworthy as to not deserve self-healing, self-care, or self-love ? And yet here we are controlling and bullying and punishing ourselves by holding back out primary beings, our inner six year-old. They are joyful prolific beings who love to be and see themselves emerge. And they deserve all the love we are capable of coming up with.

So keep creating and caring for yourself in all the ways that make you feel loved. And I will too.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Let It Be

So many things I think I should be doing. I should have a spiritual practice. I should be exercising more. I should be publishing my brilliant writing in big magazines. But most of the time, I can’t accommodate all of my shoulds. And my day turns into cleaned bathrooms, walk taken, and dinner
made. Throw a holiday in there and I don additional job hats as a fat elf and an invisible bunny rabbit. There’s no such thing as regularity. Yet somehow I keep hoping it’s possible.

Yes I could use a wife. And here comes Summer time when I suddenly become Julie your cruise director organizing all you fun Summer Family happenings and packing and planning and scheduling. But I dare say, I love it in many ways and it won’t be like this always. So I think I’m gonna let it be.

At any given point, your life is what you think it is. If you keep thinking it’s bad, it’s bad. If your think it’s a messy blessing, than that’s exactly what it is.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Alone Zone

Undeniably, we spend our lives alone. We are the only ones in our bodies, in our minds, and in our souls. Our family and friends will love us but they will always think of themselves first. It’s just humanity in action. We are loyal to preserve ourselves.

Yet, we are also pack animals. We need to be in community, to be witnessed and heard by our fellowship. To hear that we are in fact not alone. That we aren’t the only ones feeling this way.

Leave me alone but hold me.

Stay away from me but I’m lonely.

Love me but don’t get too close.

It costs your soul a high price to stay alone. I spent a lifetime of searching for partners only then using them to hurt myself. It was a lonely hard life where I perpetually gave up on myself. And I decided that it was harder to perpetually give up on myself then to give myself a chance. And I gave myself a chance to be happy even if I didn’t think I was worth it.

The alone zone on Shalavee.com

Now I have a huge community which I don’t even give myself credit for. I love to exchange ideas with like-minded people and my blog and Instagram posts allow me that privilege. And recently, I’ve been having prophetic community dreams. I think I am giving myself the high sign that it’s time to come out of hiding. Time to stop being alone and circle my wagons with others for some meaningful work.

Alone time is good and necessary for me when I need to ponder and work through stuff but then team work makes me feel truly alive and part of something bigger than me.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Hurry, Scurry, and Worry

I became so tired of the hurry, scurry, and worry. As I read blog posts and Instagram posts about how people had experienced adrenal gland burn out from all the anxiety juice they were pumping into their bodies, I understood even more my own addiction to Doing.

In my case, the anxiety manifested into stomach problems. As a child, I had stomach aches. As a college student, I had gastritis which was one step away from an ulcer. And when I had my children I would devlop a pain in my stomach that went straight back to my rib cage. My anxieties were physically manifesting right where Virgos are known to be vulnerable: in my gut. Gradually I caught on that taking Zantac quelled the acid, but two Christmases ago, my stomach was so ouchy that I couldn’t drink red wine or eat tomato sauce.

The Hurry, Worry, and Scurry on Shalavee.com

Flash forward to this November when a stressful October and a November emotional episode led me to ask for medicine to alleviate my anxieties. The sky opened up for me.

I slowly began to notice that anything I said I couldn’t do made me anxious at the anticipated outcome of failure. And when I just did my best and let life happen, I was much more calmer. I’ve stayed very easy going and worry free as much as possible. I avoid making lists but rather just make the effort to do the things I need to get done. I’m 100 times less neurotic.

The Hurry, Worry, and Scurry on Shalavee.com

This morning, I am looking at a day that seems to yawn time in front of me, although I also know that the time is finite and will come crashing down around my shoulders at 3:30 when the bus returns my daughter. And I feel completely happy and lucky that I am not in a frenzied hurry to scurry mode doing all the things I never used to give myself credit for. I give myself a ton of credit now. And I want to credit a lot of this claim and productivity to the regular art practice of the ICAD project last year and the
100 day project last and this year. What is meant to get done today will get done today. And there is a bunch more tomorrows to embrace hopefully.

How to gain self trust has been of the truest interest to me. See this article for the list of top methods of building self-trust.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Mugged by Grief

My Sister was visiting recently and we were talking about lost earrings. How we end up with that single lonesome earring and we say, “ I can make a necklace out of it”. Except we don’t and we won’t and that earring just ends up sitting in that jewelry box waiting to mug us with bad energy when we open it up.

One of the methods that now famous house clearer Marie Kondo uses to make decisions on whether to keep an object or toss it is to ask if it brings you joy. I can tell you that when I see those single earrings laying in hiding for me, I just feel grief.

.Mugged by grief on Shalavee.com

So I decided that out of sight was out of mind and I plucked them out and tossed them. Alternately you could donate the bin of beads and single earrings to the local thrift store. Crafty people love that. The point is, getting rid of them saved me from repeating the negative emotions of the loss every time I saw the one remaining earring. Then there were the red vase shards I found while weeding the garden…

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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