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Currently Browsing: Daily Shalagh

Evidence

On my walk today in the beautiful Spring-like weather, I saw evidence that the woman of the house is gone. Or more that the evidence that she was there tending to the garden and the porch has ceased. The weeds that grow and the dirt laying down on the porch furniture are telling a tale in their silence.

 

Evidence on Shalavee.com

I am familiar with the houses and yards of the houses I’m walking by for the many stroller rides and runs I’ve taken past them. And I used to admire this one with its screened in porch and mulched plant beds. Admiration which was more like envy but the word sounds like I’m a better person. Now I feel pity for the property in the absence of that female energy. Because where that felt hopeful, this feels hopeless.

 

Evidence on Shalavee.com

The house next door was torn down for its neglect. When we would pass by afterwards, my daughter would say, “It’s still gone”. She’s stopped now. Another house down the street is becoming overrun with weeds all around the base of the house. It screams neglect. I watch for the “for sale” sign to appear.

Our worlds are evidence of us. Others are watching even if we don’t care. We can put out inspiration or we can show the world desperation and desolation. The house doesn’t care nor do the things that grow. They sit and wait. Our humanity shines using the house and the garden as its palette. And our joy and sorrows are reflected there.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Sweet Technology

Were you to know me, you’d be shocked by my use of the phrase of “sweet technology”. I have had a long running substantiated horrible history with technology. Although it’s never the tech’s fault and always my spastic excitable brain’s fault, I still have long had a bad taste in my mouth for technological anything.

But my forced use of technology to blog and pursue becoming a better writer combined with my mandatory use of social media to share this writing, have forced me to walk through many technological fires. I’ve called many a tech geek/helper, I’ve enlisted friends, I’ve Googled, and forumed my way through installations and situations I’d never have willing gone. Yet I’ve done it. And every time I did, I felt a little less frightened and a little more confident. Until now, I actually sometimes look forward to figuring out ways to play with the technologies available.Sweet Technology on Shalavee.com

Yet the last point I need to stress is that you don’t, and shouldn’t, have to do it all yourself. What is it with all of us thinking we must cook from scratch, file our own taxes, and figure out all the technology ourselves? Watch Sandra Lee’s Semi-Homemade show for cooking short-cuts, use a local tax preparer for God’s sake, and call the techies in to install your stuff. I am so calm now when something goes wrong because I know it’s not on my head. I just make a call and for a nominal fee, I’ve got my computer backed up, virus free, and today, I returned to the real world by having Microsoft Word installed on my laptop.

Yes, for all these years, I’ve been using a free program called Apache Open Office. While it worked to type in, I found myself the outcast when it came to sharing my documents because everyone uses Microsoft. So, I am now no longer a Pinocchio girl but a real girl. I am a writer who has words to share with you in a format that your computer will not reject! Huge.

Say yes to easy. Ask for help so that you can get on to doing the things that you are good at and sharing your brilliance with the world.

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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This Week in My Head: On Fighting the Fear and the Pain

A brain spill is a great place to start. And to keep a real face here, this is what I wrote to myself this past week. I have gone through some physical and mental pain and fear which, after sitting with it, has kicked my butt into gear a little.

Fighting to stop the pains in my body, physical and mental. Pain causes fear. Fear causes anxiety. This is my living through the lesson about how “pain means something” and the resolution to rid myself of it takes work. Am I worth fighting for? Because the answer to this question will decide the next step.

Planning is still up to me. I’ve made the next round of physical doctor’s appointments and now I wait for them.

This Week in My Head: On Fighting the Fear and the Pain on Shalavee.com

 

Struggling with finding my footing here in this very place. Wishing to bloom into this amazing space I’ve created (space and time to work distraction free with cool air this summer, story to come). A place where I vanquished my demons enough to write and write and write until I found, and continue to find, my voice. Where I make friends, and create support networks online and in person. Where I’ve systematically rid myself of the excuses that were in my way. And now it’s a struggle to stand in this space and see if for what it is.

And now I am again standing dumbfounded and fear-riddled staring at the next step.

I know it’s time for a call, a scream for me and my worth. 

To count all the blessings.

A Vision board.

To come back around to hope again. 

That I need to do for myself exactly the things that I would suggest others do is true.

I’m smack in that cycle that Sass describes in her Self-Doubt Loop. I’m at the end of the part where I bemoan my inaction and start to gather my hope and speed back up. Maybe its perfect timing. 

 

This Week in My Head: On Fighting the Fear and the Pain on Shalavee.com

Sass suggests finding a totem to remind me of that feeling/place I am working toward. And to consider my life’s work as a devotion. To commit to it as a given. And in return the devotion of my time and effort will give back to me with opportunities and miracles. Read her recent post here and feel free to wander in her happy space for more insight.

Time for me to no longer stay lost but to be found.

Yes I am sometimes Battling Against the Becoming. But that is a part of the cycle. Is this a cycle you go through too?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Battling Against the Becoming

I am the caterpillar inching my way along fueled by the promise of flying one day. But all that potential to fulfill that flight is so scary. Everyone will be watching me! Maybe the beautiful butterfly that I could become is poisonous and very dangerous … to others and myself. And so, I fight the becoming, eschew the wings, and ignore the chrysalis phase. And moan and wail as I see others flying by.

I chatter at myself, trying to pick the lock of myself. I query and banter, I call out and disagree. I cancel and ask for permission and still I can not seem to relinquish the fear that grips me around doing what I “have to do”, Supposed to Vs. Want. What must I do to bring down these defenses and make my life a fearless siege of what I want to do. battling against the becoming on Shalavee.com

I come back to my vision, my plan for my future. A summary of what I believe (a book) and sharing these thoughts with others (speaking engagements and magazine pieces). It all sounds so noble and doable. My heart on my sleeve and everyone chanting “Yes !”… while I search the crowd for the one person who’s going to lunge out and reveal my shortcomings, my illegitimacy, and my lack of pedigree. And I just beat them to the punch by not walking the walk didn’t I?

This is between me and me. I’m standing in my way. I’m coaxing and cajoling, I’m berating and stating, and still I stand here. And then there’s the little voice that says run while she’s not looking. Pull the band-aid off quickly! Just do it and then over think it. Knuckle down and fake the passion because whatever you are avoiding is usually the one thing you truly need to do. battling against the becoming on Shalavee.com

Hope you can figure out how to get out of your own way. Lemme know your tricks please.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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You Will Be Your Own Destiny

I am going through a rough patch right now. It’s a quagmire of doubt I regularly like to reroute myself through. I decided to try to just stay and wait it out, to witness myself and try not to rush in to judge or fix. I know I need to remember my purpose, my destiny and then this morning I woke up with this in my head.

 

 

 

You will be your own destiny and your own reason why.”

 

 

And so, I resigned myself once again to searching again for the breadcrumbs I have left for myself. The clues as to who I think I am and want to be and the Why. That seems to elude me over and over. And as I searched my breadcrumbs, I found this proclamation. I share it as a way of showing you my process, proving my humanity, and resolving in public to once again keep going for me and for everyone who may benefit.

You will be your own destiny on Shalavee.com

I believe that I have a light that shines brightly. That this light is different, unique to me. My light is meant to keep shining so that others can benefit from the hope that it brings them and that this light will keep guiding me towards a better brighter happier version of me. When I’m ready, I always move on. And when others are ready, they/anyone can join with me in the belief that their creativity and voice can make a difference even if it’s just to themselves. I believe my belief influences and augments other people’s beliefs. And that this process I’m describing is non-negotiable.”

As Summer rolls on in, I feel encouraged that I have time set aside for my uninterrupted creativity so that I can pursue what this light needs to be shining on right now. I am thinking that I can commit again to a video series and I think I know the very first topic I want to speak on. Witnessing. Be it witnessing our friends, our family, animals in nature, or ourselves as we struggle and can not “fix” or “save” but just to hold a presence there.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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