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Currently Browsing: Blogging Along

Not a Loser or a Gainer but a Wicked Maintainer

When it comes to my body and my soul work, I can maintain what I’ve got for all eternity. It’s movement that I seem to be having a tough time with. I managed to move my body weight down maybe 6 pounds last year with Weight Watchers. And maintained it until Christmas when I gave myself permission to eat what I wanted assuming I’d gain it back. Which I did. I chose it. And now, a year later, I’m back where I started. Maintaining my weight gain despite good intentions and motivation. Not a loser or a gainer but a wicked maintainer.not a loser or a gainer but a wicked maintainer on Shalavee.com

The same can be said for my progress in my writing. I gained ground when I committed to writing daily and posting three times weekly. Yet when it comes to moving beyond the commitment of writing for my blog and trying to get published, I haven’t been able to allow myself to gain ground. I seem to expect just enough of myself to keep my blog afloat. I blame my need to mother simultaneously but I know that’s malarkey. I’m maintaining my writing practice but not growing it.

In a way I feel good about it all. At least I’m not losing ground I think. That’s a win isn’t it? But in a world where we judge ourselves for the progress we’ve made, I am not proud of treading water. I like writing and love connecting with other people on the subjects I love talking about. But being bold and disciplined is tough. Retreating, snuggling in, and not risking seems like it’s easy. But it’s not feeling easy. not a loser or a gainer but a wicked maintainer on Shalavee.com

So I’m asking myself those questions again about what makes me happy? What is it I value and what would it take to achieve that value? And I am recommitting to that process. Not because I want you to like and approve of me. But because I want to be proud of me. I want to know that I am not caving in to my fear but making small efforts to make myself proud to be me on a daily basis.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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We Gather to Feel Hope

As she poured us some of her white sangria, our hostess Annie admitted that she was compelled to organize our Saturday night gathering since she wasn’t a participant in the Women’s March that afternoon. I hadn’t traveled to Washington either and so the six of us, all Moms, sat and shared our feelings and concerns. And I felt grateful to be able to gather and share my fears and doubts with these women. It was validating and affirming and necessary. And as each of us had brought a nibble and a sweet, our opinions and stories were equally nourishing.We Gather to Feel Hope on Shalavee.com

At the close of the lovely evening, we all offered that it was so nice to be able to speak our truths and hear them echoed back. That we’ve never experienced this fearful uncertainty in our country before. As one woman’s wise husband had pointed out, we were not alive during Watergate or the assassinations of JFK or Martin Luther King.This election is our horrible US citizen moment (if you don’t remember the second Bush Administration).

And even though nothing in the world “changed” last night, our inner worlds changed tremendously. We felt like we were facing this together with like-minded women. We felt safer in our collective souls. And that was something I’m so very grateful for. I think we all were. I look forward to hosting similar gatherings in the coming year to keep the spirit of hope alive for myself and anyone who would join me.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Thinking Through the Fear

I was sure there had to be another way of thinking of this. I was tired of being terrified of beginning my submission process again. There had to be a way that I could see and understand my fear that would make it OK. I needed to reframe it. And so I thought and thought as I drove the hour and a half home from Baltimore last night.

You see, while having our birthday lunch a month ago, my best friend looked me in the eye and made me promise I’d start submitting my writing again. She said my stuff is as good as anyone’s out there publishing now on the same subjects. She likened my writing to life coach Martha Beck’s. I’m slightly speechless. And this is what best friends are for.Thinking through the fear on Shalavee.com

Publishing my personal essays in magazines and online publications has been a longtime goal of mine. And after repeated attempts to publish my stuff in the wrong places, I gave up. It was too hard and felt too raw. The rejection felt like being outcast and that wasn’t fun. So last night I again questioned myself as to why I have wanted to do this and what my fear really was. And I discovered the truth and the way around it in my answer.

You see, when you are thinking that your life’s work is all about you and your ego, you are easy prey for the fear of rejection. It’s always personal. But when I started to think of the good that my writing has done even so far, the permission that it has given people to do brave things, I realize it is of me but it is not mine altogether. Like a child, you need to set it free for the world to enjoy. In making it about me. I’ve lost sight of what’s important. The writing is the most important thing.

I have found a purpose in my passion. I am here to tell my story and in sharing it, if it helps one other person than it’s worth the work and risk and fear to have done so. I have heard the thirty or so people who have told me to keep going, keep writing what they’re thinking. As I said before, I need to submit…to the process that I now understand is part of a larger plan I can not see. As long as I make it about me, I stay small. The fear is about being rejected. But really it’s about being accepted. I am afraid of discovering that I spent all this time hiding and controlling my talent for fear of nothing.

Thinking through the fear on Shalavee.com

Staying small is no longer an option. It was OK that while I grew as a writer, I stayed small. My blog was a tiny universe where I told my truths and culled my skills as a writer. But the time has come, my 50th year I suppose was the doorway to the next phase, when I need to risk being a bigger better me. Although the faith is wobbly, I am doing the next thing and the next thing. And making it about my readership. I am devoting myself to to my best work for the people who enjoy reading me. For my future book lovers, I am committing to making them proud, giving them the words that they want to pour over and highlight and quote. Because I sometimes see that what I write is even 30% better than what I thought it was.

Before the end of the year, there will be big changes in my blog. Keep your eyes wide open my lovely readers.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Wrap-Up of the Month-Long October Post-athon 2016

And so again, my October month-long marathon post-athon of posting everyday is coming to an abrupt end. As usual, I’m here to tell you again why I did it and what I got out of it. Because that’s how these wrap up things work. See the previous years’ 2015 here, 2014 here, and here is the intro to the first time in 2013.

Like many, I can get to telling myself lies about how I don’t have enough. Time is the biggest resource I can convince myself I’m lacking although it’s really fear of success I’m feeling. So this self-imposed torture/yearly practice of posting every day of October pretty much dispels that lie, short and sweet. I manage to post every loving day, keep my kids and my house fairly tidy, and do other stuff like creativity challenges and have a social life too.Wrap up for the October Post-athon 2016 on Shalavee.com

There’s a Jewish parable, a tale I’ve spoken of before in last years wrap-up, where the man complains about having too much mayhem in his house. So his rabbi tells him to bring in the chickens. Then the goat. Then the cows. And finally, he tells the man to go ahead and move them all out. And then asks him how things are now. He says great. It’s all about creating the perspective. ( See the story here. )

I am amazed that I get away with this every year. That the amount of subjects and creativity keeps coming out of me endlessly seems miraculous. But then creativity flourishes within confines. So I have just about shown myself again how much of a super woman I am and how I can pull off anything I put my mind to.Wrap up for the October Post-athon 2016 on Shalavee.com

So here’s to another month of Sundays gone by and a Happy Halloween to end my month-long gauntlet on. Let it be Spooktacular and Funny Fun Fun!!!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Live to Tape Chats Starring Me

Since the end of July, I have been doing live video broadcasts from my Shalavee.com Facebook page here. My thoughts were that I like talking and people like to see people talk so why the heck don’t I start talking online. Subjects have included Burnout, Creativity, and Perfectionism which was the talk the screen froze and I had to finish in another broadcast. Irony is a funny sexy thing. After I am done taping the 10 -12 minute video, the live video goes to “tape” and is held on my page forever more. As of today, I have done 11 (counting the perfectionism one as one) broadcasts. And this is what I’ve learned.

Personal Ahas

  • Anything you devote yourself to regularly you get better at. I was so timid at first that I almost didn’t want people to be watching. Now that I’ve seen myself over and over, I find I’m compelling and interesting.
  • You have to do your thing just for you. It’s a thrill to share it and get other people to watch your progress but it has to be for your happiness.
  • I’m interesting to watch. My personality really comes through and that’s a strength of mine.
  • Keep writing or talking or dancing even if nobody’s watching.

Live to tape chats on Shalavee.com

Technological Ahas

  • Where there’s a will, the way is even simpler than you think. Fish around and find out how things work. That’s how children learn.
  • Essentially the web is now so user freaking friendly and interconnected that you only need to poke at a few buttons and everything you need to accomplish a task such as downloading or sharing is right there.
  • Conversely, when the writer of the article you read on shooting a live Facebook broadcast apparently has an Iphone and you have an Android, you may shoot the video of yourself sideways (twice) because she said the comments would show up on the side instead of below.
  • And you should always test out your technology ahead of time to make sure it all looks good and upright and loud enough.
  • When doing Live Facebook broadcast, disconnect notifications of Facebook during or your phone will lock up and you’ll have to force stop the app. Sigh.
  • If you have bad internet connection with Verizon, suck it up and accept that you will be pixelated and have weak signal until you figure out another provider.

I think you should do anything you consider a possibility twice before you decide if it’s a good fit. So far, I rather like doing these broadcast. In fact last week I had uninstalled and reinstalled Facebook on my phone to rid myself of a glitch, and inadvertently posted live to my personal page. But in making this mistake, I had a few people show up that I was pleased to see were watching me.

I showed up in the wrong place. But I showed up. And so did they so Yay!!!  Look for me every Friday at noon on my Shalavee Facebook page or watch the taped version of my talking head on my YouTube channel here.

Enjoy my taped talk on Perfectionism. And it’s part two too.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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