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Currently Browsing: Daily Shalagh

Navigating the World’s Shoulds

So many shoulds coming at us daily. Other people’s recipes for our lives flooding our heads. The shoulds of womanhood, motherhood, parenthood, successful people, healthy people, and intelligent people. Of good daughters and good citizens and good Christians.

Oh you know what the shoulds sound like. I should have a clean house, a balanced diet, and spiritual practice. I should have polite children, a health insurance plan, and an IRA account. Everywhere I turn, there is some spoken, or unspoken rule that tells me what I should be, say, and know. And I find it exhausting.Navigating the World's Shoulds on Shalavee.com

As former small people, we have a hard time doing what we are told we should do, even when the should comes from ourselves. So there we are with our own laundry list of shoulds and then we get the world adding to it. We should be skinny, we should be saving, and we should be up on current events.

But in the end, what we truly think is what matters. Do we trust ourselves to say, “No thank you, I don’t need to worry about being skinnier with the holidays coming up.” Or, “No thank you, I don’t care to worry about decorating the outside of my house when I need to clean the kitchen floor today.” It’s always our choice to decide what matters to us.Navigating the World's Shoulds on Shalavee.com

We get to throw out the shoulds that do not serve us and listen hard to the coulds that are in or hearts. We really should go see that movie before it leaves the theater but we feel like staying home and watching a movie on our own couch instead. Or, we really should finish reading the library book due tomorrow but instead we feel like cooking brownies with our kids.

What shoulds are you holding on to that you may be able to let go of for the holiday season? If you must, schedule your number one in your calendar and then gift yourself with a schedule of coulds instead.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Daunting Freedom of Choice to Fail

I have written ad nauseam about the amazing gift we have to choose our lives. We get to choose our lifestyles and who we call community. We get to choose what we believe and how we practice what we believe, where we spend our money and where we don’t. And while it’s a giddy freedom to know that our choices are truly up to us, it is also daunting and possibly terrifying.

The potential to make a mistake is forever your company. I have a “first marriage”. There were people we hired to work on our house who we shouldn’t have. There is an amount of debt rolled into my mortgage for the antiques and gift shop that I failed to succeed with.The Daunting Freedom of Choice to Fail on Shalavee.com

But there are also bits and pieces of those failed choices that made me who I am. Disappointments that shaped me into the person I am. Choices that will lead me to better choices, to streamlining my choice making processes. And to be a little more aware of when my inner voice tells me to beware.

If I believe that failure lays the path to success then the faith in this is the very tool I need to get through to the success. That and the knowledge that failure is a circumstance and not something you are. Separating myself from the outcomes of the my choices may be the key to choosing to fail more. And aspiring to more successes than just keeping safe.

What is your outlook today on the success of your life? Are you choosing to risk or staying safe within a life recipe that doesn’t fit you?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Is My Life a Problem or a Pleasure?

I woke up this morning doubting my ability to accurately decide if I was living a good life. “Is my life a problem or a pleasure”, I asked myself. I questioned my decision on this day being a good one or a bad one because I truly hadn’t lived any of it yet. Yet, how often do my thoughts on my life then immediately lead to feelings about my life, good or bad? 

What we focus on, be it the things that we need to “fix” or the things that we’re grateful for, determines our feelings about our lives. How we feel about our life is all we have to decide if we like living them or not. Having the “trappings” of a good life, like wealth or social status, does not guarantee that inside, people still don’t feel good about their lives.

If I decide that my life is hard and problematic, then I’m probably not going to be enjoying my life as I await the next thing to go wrong or the shoe to drop. Waiting for catastrophe is a choice I made for a long time.

Is My Life a Problem or a Pleasure? on Shalavee.comBut is I decide that I am living a charmed life, which I surely am, and that I have it pretty good today, then I am able to smile and appreciate my day more and be grateful for the pleasure of living this lie. How many times do you see other people grumbling and ungrateful and you think, “Don’ t they know how lucky they are?” That’s all of us. Each of us able to enjoy and be grateful for our gifts every day, not just at Christmas. A half full day awaits you.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

My Cup is Half Full

A cold rainy day has driven me to light the fire and my favorite smelly candle. My first cup of earl grey tea for the season has been brewed.

There’s a lull between holiday storms. Thanksgiving is only leftovers and memories and Christmas is still contained in lists. And I am maintaining a ‘be here now mindset’ as the calendar moves ever onward and may to try to hijack me and my anxieties with “all the things” to come.

Gratitude and appreciation keep us grounded. I am grateful that this old gas fireplace is still lighting after a dozen years in service. That I am still able to buy Paddywax’s Ralph Wald Emerson candle from their Library collection.My cup is half full on Shalavee.com

For the fact that we have money in savings for Christmas this year. And that family will visit to see Fiona in her première performance of the Nutcracker.

I have plenty of time to say what needs saying. And I have plenty of words to do that with. I m also infinitely grateful for all the eyes that take in my words and appreciate them.

My cup is half full only if I think it is. So today, I think it is.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Two Weeks After the Emotional Fallout

It’s been two weeks since the anxiety episode that hijacked my heart and silenced my soul. It wasn’t a panic attack, it was just a crisis of confidence. I’ve had these before. And after I took myself to the doctor’s to ask for some pharmaceutical help and did all the various and assorted self-care activities I could, I’ve just been sitting back and taking it easy. Listening to and watching what my inner-self needs. Not overtaxing myself with have tos but asking what I want to do instead.

Perspective is always a good friend if you allow it to come in and stand with you as time passes. And what I realized was that I have been telling myself a story about how OK I was when I wasn’t. I was passing myself as “doing great” when I wasn’t always doing great. I was so frustrated because I feel like I’ve made a lot of progress in fighting my anxieties and having this spell felt like I’d never gotten anywhere.Two Weeks After the Emotional Fallout on Shalavee.com

Again, another cognitive distortion. I self-sabotaged some major progress by expecting myself to be all in, there already, safe and confident on a high platform away from the fear lions. And there was no voice loud enough to shout me in from the doubt storm as it spiraled out of control shaking me with doubt and grief and shame. “Why do I even try? I put myself in harm’s way. I am a fraud.”

It’s two weeks later, and although I no longer feel like a fraud, I’m still trying to find my footing. My therapist is my own personal wonder woman handing me perspective and tools. And she asked me “What’s your Purpose?”. I said,”I Dunno”. So we’re starting there.

Stuff certainly happens. Regularly. And it’s always up to us to translate what it means, to tell our own story about where we are and what we need to do next. I wanted to run away from all my aspirations. But I let myself sit and watch and what I think I’ve done is blow some unreal expectations out of the water and made room for some compassionate wisdom instead.

I’m just letting go of what doesn’t serve me presently and caring for myself through this fallout. I feel the numbness subsiding and the hope wanting to seep in again.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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