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A Poem Prayer for Ease

I chatter at it and

Batter at it and

still it is not fixed.

The ages old self-diatribe

I am not enough, I am not enough

 

I tell everyone, I’m OK, I’m fine

But in my mind there’s a line

And I’m on the wrong side.

 

The impossibility of moving on

Tethered to a ghost.

I trust no one, even myself

And so I remain lost

 

I crave the ease

The easy squeeze

that will fill my future full

Of gratitude and tenderness

of purposed hours filled.

 

I write at night

with all my sight

that I might

win this fight.

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Yes You Have Too Much To Do

Yes you have too much to do. Or should I say, I have too much I think I can do. The emails are piling up. There are stacks of unread magazines. There are outdated frozen soups in the freezer. And there are items in my closet that just don’t fit me well. There are dust bunnies with bad attitudes under our beds. And there were more important tasks than these looming in my future too.

As long as I’m still terrified of doing what I’m already putting off, then all those tasks get pushed back further because I have a priority hierarchy in my head. And when I added the yet to do list of tasks to get done before I went away on my trip or before the holiday event happens in my living room, I am drowning in my to do’s, Inundated with must do’s, and desperately wanting to be UN-inundated. Because vacations and holidays are supposed to be relaxing Damn it!yes you have to much to do on Shalavee.com

The trick to being UN-inundated is to actually do those things that you’ve put off. You need to take your fear and stare at it and tell it you will best it. Even beginning a dreaded tasks makes t less dreadful. It’s amazing how everything runs much more smoothly after that happens.

I did the hard things. Drove through the doubt storm. And I must say I was both pleased with myself and relieved and rattled by the fear which is my impostor syndrome stuff. But suddenly I was freed to get to cleaning out my closet and my freezer. I redecorated for Fall and am about to go dye my hair.

Yes, you will get it all done if you keep at it. Drops in the bucket fill the bucket up. But what of the sabotage by overwhelm? Attempting to take on too much is a great and mean way to get yourself to feel like a failure.

In my blog post The Evil Organizer Date Planner , I said this about my over-achieving ways,

I saw a driveway today doubled up with two rows of cars that looked like they were all in need of some sort of repair. And I realized that that’s my mental driveway. With that many tasks to do, it will never look like I’m succeeding even though I am. In fact the opposite may be true. The amount of accomplishments I do get done daily is staggering considering all that is on my plate. And I’m the only one who can’t see this.”yes you have to much to do on Shalavee.com

It’s one thing to say I really expect too much of myself, and it’s a complete change of lifestyle to actually weed away the overwhelm. And especially at Christmas when we’re all expected to be event planners, it’s easy to lose perspective on exactly how much we’re asking ourselves to do on top of all the rest of life’s necessary tasks. I have been a Superwoman all my life who never gave herself credit for the miraculous things I did. So this season, I’ve an eye on me to be mindful of what is enough and what is too much.

Did I mention we’re going out for Thanksgiving dinner?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Creativist or Consumerist : Which one are You?

I believe that you are choosing to live your life on one of two paths. You are either living your life as a Creativist or as a Consumerist. And this is how this story and the dawning of my understanding between creativism and consumerism unfolded. I made friends with fellow uber-creative Olivia Sprinkel via Instagram. And I see in her bio she calls herself a creativist. I ask her what’s this?

She answers, “Hello! I saw a friend’s Facebook post about Eddie Izzard, an English comedian who asked ‘Are you a capitalist or creativist?’

I’m not a capitalist, I am a creativist. I want to make money so that I can create things. Suddenly all these people have come along who want to create things so they can make money.” – Eddie Izzard –

She says,”I really liked the word so ended up building out my own definition of creating + connecting + acting .”Creativist or Consumerist on Shalavee.com

So I read Olivia’s Manifesto on Creativism and I am hooked ! In her manifesto, The Creativist Manifesto : Consumer or Creativist ? , I began to understand what I had already known in my gut. Our system of capitalism and consumerism is destructive. It’s disingenuous and abusive. It does not value the individuality of the creative. 

I summed up my initial understanding of creativism in this post. Citing work by Author Orna Ross, another great resource for understanding creativism. The consumer wants to own or destroy what can’t be owned. This a masculine state of being whereas the creative state is the feminine. In this state we experience flow. We are responsible for our own happiness. We see the relativity of all experiences and input. We seek to work together as a collective to create a better outcome.Creativist or Consumerist on Shalavee.com

The way we perceive and use our minds differently in relation to these modes, Ms. Ross refers to as The Con-Mind verses the Creative Mind. That we are in different mind modes when we are creating as opposed to fixing and surviving and worrying is absolute. From my own research on anxiety and creativity, it is physically impossible to have an anxiety attack and be in creative flow at the same time. Physically, the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous systems can not be engaged at the same time.

The initial understanding of what we are being asked to do to fit in and survive leaves me numb. Our inner children are outraged at the crimes we are committing by denying our creativity. And only in valuing our individuality and ingenuity will we not only be happier beings but we’ll begin to truly create a sustainable existence. I hope this sparked you to ask more questions abut this subject. Awareness is the first chapter to change.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Why I’m OK Teaching a Creativity Workshop

If I had a dime for every time I heard, “Oh Shalagh you are so creative”, I’d at least have five bucks. This became one of those phrases that made me twitch perhaps because I didn’t think of myself as having any kind of creative superpowers which was obvious to them but not to me, until it finally was. I think perhaps what they meant was they wished they knew the secret creative permission spell too.Why I'm OK Teaching a Creativity Workshop on Shalavee.com

Fast forward to the past several years when I intentionally indulged myself in creative challenges to gain creative confidence. I followed many of my creative curiosities until I finally owned that I was an Uber-creative. And I am beginning to understand that I believe in creative living aka Creativism as a way of life, one that is at odds with the consume and destroy mode of existence I see all too much of.

So if there is a purpose to my life, one of the facets seems to be sharing my creativity with others so that they too have permission to create.  To this end, I am offering a creativity workshop locally this Fall because I believe that everyone can benefit, and perhaps heal, from increased creativity in their lives.Why I'm OK Teaching a Creativity Workshop on Shalavee.com

Each of us looks to understand ourselves based on our interaction with the world. The advertising propaganda would have us believe conformity and possession would be our best safe bet to easy existence. But in fact, we crave to understand our uniqueness through our interactions. We long to be carefree, to be unique and yet connected to our community at the same time. We want self-confidence that comes from owning our own uniqueness and perspective. Not only are these human needs, they are only a few of the many benefits of creativity.

Somehow, as we become older, we conform to the idea that creativity will get us outcast from the tribe. That we need to focus only on the earning of money and security for our family. My hope is that by opening up a conversation with people, and consequently they with themselves, the tantalizing benefits will begin to tickle people slightly out of their fear zones so that they may try creativity in small bursts in their lives. A little creativity in one’s life is better than none. And the money people can save by ceasing to try to find themselves by spending rather than creating will make it an even more enticing proposition.Why I'm OK Teaching a Creativity Workshop on Shalavee.com

My final realization is that I don’t have to be a “professional” artist to legitimize my knowledge and experience around creativity. I can be a small “a” artist. I only need to acknowledge that I am creative and share what I feel and know to be my truth around this process as it relates to my growth and development as a more rounded human being. I can honestly say that the permission I have given myself to create has created a better happier more confident me. And that is a completely good thing.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

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Focus is My New Word of the Year for 2019

Last year, I chose the word Trust as my word of the year for 2018. I wanted to trust the world, my process, and myself. But I’ve found that just because I want something to be a certain way doesn’t mean that I am inspired by telling myself it has to be that way. In fact, I’ve found that it can work quite the opposite way for me. If you tell me to do it, I’m not necessarily going to do it. Our inner punks are like that.

So the well meant word of the year didn’t inspire me to trust myself anymore. I think I just didn’t know how to weave it’s lesson into my world well enough yet. At one point I flat out forgot what the word was even after I had used it to prompt my ICAD art. Again, fear can make you forgetful when it wants to keep you safe.Focus if my word of the year for 2019 on Shalavee.com

So I took a walk this morning, just as I had on the day I chose Trust, and had a dialogue with myself about what I might want my word to be for the upcoming year. And after much debate and many bantered about words including Permit and Create, I decided on Focus.

I absolutely know that when I focus, stuff happens. It seems the operative word for Proactivity. I am capable of doing great things. I have come to understand that once I allow myself to focus, these great things happen. The reason they don’t happen is not a lack of ability on my part but a fear based lack of focus that makes it look like I can’t. Aha!

Focus looks like designated time for my tasks, scheduling even small stuff so that I feel the momentum and the certainty that “I can”. Focus looks like sitting down with a task and working through the fear-storm. Focus looks like ridding myself of all obligations and distractions to hedge my bets for success.Focus if my word of the year for 2019 on Shalavee.com

And of course, focus rhymes with hocus and pocus and I kinda like that concept especially at this time of the year. Perhaps there’s a little magic in the word focus after all.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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