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Currently Browsing: Blogging Along

The Daring Young Girl On the Flying Trapeze

Thought I’d catch you up my lovely reader on where I am and what I’ve been thinking about.

Year of Making

I’m committed to A Year of Making. I am keeping a list and pictures of my everyday making but my documenting system needs a little tweaking. When you do all the creating and the mothering all in the same day, you need really great systems. And I just don’t always feel like I have the clarity to create those. But I keep on keepin’ on.

goal board

I did however clean out my craft room. And updated my goals mapping wall piece.

And speaking of goals, I put out the newsletter I’d been dragging my feet about creating and ironically did so on the day when Fiona was sick. If you aren’t signed up to receive my newsletters, you can put your name into the sign up space on the side bar of the blog. I will be sending these out more often with original extra content. We’ll talk.

Sticking My Neck Out

The daring young girl continues sticking her neck out and in less than 2 months time I’m teaching a workshop on blogging. I fought against doing this. Told the man I wasn’t his gal. He insisted I was. So I bring what I know from my personal perspective and know that at least they’ll be entertained and feel supported in their efforts.

Shalagh of Shalavee.com

I learned blogging in dribs and drabs with a steep learning curve. As I was driving us back home from our Valentine’s date through snow blind conditions last night, I was explaining to my husband that I had needed to find out who I was while I learned how to blog. These happened simultaneously. I was committed to being a writer and my blogging led to reading and learning and reflecting and friending. And that has all lifted me up to such a different place in my inner world. My self-esteem has risen and my anxieties have diminished. Yes I feel scared but more sure that the tasks I posted up to that goals board are the right ones for my future. I am constructing a future of work that feels good to me and that I’ll be proud of.

Feeling vs. Thinking

I intend to do more writing with more feeling instead of thinking. I will continue to be the best cheerleader I can be for me and everyone and if that means I’m a leader, I’ll learn to like that term. And I am about to really look hard at my value. Read over my stuff and decide what value needs to be offered elsewhere. Stop looking outwards in hopes that someone will come tell me why I’m here. And look hard and long at the value I have already produced and created with 575 posts.

Hot pink coat from Shalavee.com

I’d like to feel like I’m wearing a hot pink fake fur coat with a butt warmer when I’m out doing my thing being the super cool productive how-do-you-do kinda me.  I want to feel safe and cozy and happy doing my thing.  These have been my thoughts of recent. Thanks for listening.

 

Blog Suicide

Don’t stop me if I’ve told you this because I’m going somewhere different with it today. A thoughtful and somewhat sad place but I can’t stop thinking about it.

I started blogging with truly no clue about blogging. I did it because someone I knew said I should. I’d never really even read a blog. And I just began. What’s followed is a lot of blood, sweat , and tantrums.

I have stayed the course though and am glad I did because of the growth I have experienced both as a writer and as a human being who needed to prove my worth and the value of human connection. But you don’t get to enjoy the lessons unless you go the distance.

This can be a very solitary practice. So many sources of input vying for your attention that I feel lucky if anyone reads my blog. Please don’t feel bad that you don’t comment either. Those that can do. Purposes of entertainment are personal to everyone. And I can remember being reluctant to comment once too.

I have been online now long enough to see some of my fellow bloggers discontinue their blogging. One gal got a full-time job. Two just sort of stopped publishing posts and show up to “like” something every once in a while. But the one that upset me the most was a gal who I almost met this past Summer at the Blog U conference. She committed blog suicide.

I was just about to write a piece on how upset I was about her abrupt disappearance when Robin Williams took his life. And the death of this wonderful and beloved man seemed too tragic to even use the word suicide in any other context. But I do feel a kind of concern for this gal’s welfare and here’s why.

There’s a community here online and when you connect with people, they’re just like the people you know from your everyday life. Like your mail carrier or your bus driver. They make you happy when they chat with you. But then what if you heard them start to say that you were so pretty and that they could never consider themselves pretty. Or that you were smart and they just knew they were dumb. And then one day they were missing from their job permanently.

This gal praised me and I was so flattered but I felt that shift into implosion. Suggestions of unhappiness and unworthiness and anxiety. And then wham, she was missing. She had deleted her blog address and all of her social media outlets. I wanted to scream out, why? One of ours was gone. Many of us new bloggers have felt that wavering doubt of that first year of blogging. I understand low self-esteem so well. I comprehend comparing myself to other bloggers and writers (and designers) and feeling crappy about me. And I guess I am reminded again of how I love doing this and how tenuous our bonds with others really are.

So Jean, if you are still reading my blog, know that I heard your distress and felt absolutely powerless to help you. I did notice you go missing. I am not a more talented a blogger or writer or mother than you are. I hope that you and your children are well and looking forward to a happy holiday season. And that if you ever needed an ear or anything I have to give you, I am still here. Imprisoned in this box but also out in the world contributing my soul and gathering happiness anyway I can.

Sincerely,

Shalagh

What I Want You To Think of Me

At the same time that I don’t want to need to ask your permission to be myself, I am feeling like I also need someone to tell me what I’m supposed to be and do. We have so much invested in what we perceive others are thinking of us. We’ll never really know what they think but boy do we all believe we’re Amazing Kreskins. Mind readers unite!

But with a public platform and a “brand”, there’s a conflict between wanting you to think of me in a certain way , and not wanting to care what you think and do my thing. I am trapped in a place between.

Fiona's fond of the Ravens flamingo on Shalavee.com

I’m naturally codependent so I already want you to like me. Put the added pressure around creating a “face’ and a “thing” that you will like when all I really want to do is just be me. As a person who feels she is way more than can be condensed , I’m done before I begin. What I want you to think of me just got exhausting. And now I understand why these high school girls have suffered breakdowns over their “personas”. Poor things. In my shadow

Truthfully, I’m always concerned that I sound like a fake, That what I’m preaching isn’t what I’m practicing.Frankly, even when you think “I’ve got this”, and it seems like I’ve got this, I have it and the next minute, I don’t  But the truth is that I tell the truth always. And for that fact, I’ll never be a fake. Just a human being with an ebb and flow of doubt.

Walking the line in the monkey shoes on Shalavee.com

Foot nailed to the floor, I continue to listen to everything everyone says to me as I cull my important thoughts and passionate rants into something that seems to represent me. I am looking for the me that I like to be. This will all get easier once I’ve decided which me to stand in. I just need to decide. This is all low self-esteem hangover stuff.

My kindest wish for you is my hope that you know and like yourself today and everyday.

Bloggers Meet-Up

I got this idea into my head that my geographical area here on the Delmarva peninsula, with its multitude of writers, needed an opportunity to network and connect on the subject of blogging. That the people who are timid to start need support. And the people who have started need camaraderie, commentators, and technical reference resources. I had the idea to create a bloggers’ meet-up. I think it’s a really good idea. Really.

So my friend Christina created a graphic for me and helped disperse the event information. I was excited to be available to help all the people that I just knew needed a network or support or a new direction. And when the day finally came last Sunday, I took my cookies over to the Rural Life Museum here in downtown Denton to meet and greet whomever would show up.

Rural Life museum in Denton for the Blogger's Meet-up on Shalavee.com

 

Thankfully, the someones who showed up for this maiden Meet-up were near and dear to me and they came armed with a mission. And I can say that I helped them to move from a concept to some action steps for their blog that make sense of what they’ve considered. In other words, I helped them. And that made my ever-loving day. We answered their “Why” for blogging and that freed them to move onto the how.

Rural Life museum in Denton for the Blogger's Meet-up on Shalavee.com

If you live here on the Delmarva peninsula, are considering starting, or have a blog and need support, and you missed the bloggers meet-up event this weekend, I am planning to have an encore meet-up in maybe February of 2015 when we all have really nothing better to do but get out and on with our lives. Looking forward to that and please, if there are questions or discussions that need to happen earlier, please don’t hesitate to ask and talk to me here or at any other communication platform you and I share. There are links on the sidebar and in the paragraph below.

Sincerely,

Shalagh

 

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Muchier and Truthier

In the beginning of the year, I felt stronger. I might have had some goals and some purpose. My fellow bloggers did too. They were all picking out their words for the year and saying how they missed themselves. How they wanted to feel muchier and more truthful. Truthier. I can totally get with that as I don’t even remember the path that I may have strayed from. I have blogging amnesia. So without further adieu, I give you myself and my blog’s purpose and progress as I see it.

My name is Shalagh and I have written this blog for three years. I began this because I needed to practice my writing. It was lonely and full of doubts at first. Then I found my voice. And I kept using it. I am not as published as I’d like in alternates spaces but I have found people online and made connections I never knew were possible. And if I asked them, they’d help me. I just tend to ask the wrong things of the wrong people and see the imminent demise of my effort as a character flaw in myself.

muchier and truthier me from shalavee.com

I discovered I am both verbal and visual and in need of expressing and balancing both. Where I began here with all words, I then included pictures more and more. Now I am focusing on a balance of the two. A reformatting of the site has been long overdue but I am still looking for definition and branding for what my “thing” is.It may be apparent to everyone but me I fear.

I used to be funny and then I got serious and now I like to be both. My need to always be different makes it difficult for me to do what everyone else is doing and just fit in. I used to love to cuss, at least in person and I find its gratuitous usage in print annoying, but I am finding it hard to contain myself recently with the chaos that’s the onset of toddlerhood. I am a personal essayist who need to get myself published.

I keep looking for that grand master plan that will allow me to see the purpose of my life and direction I need to be headed. But I can tell you that may be a ruse. That I tend to make it harder than it should be is something I’m meditating on now. That I am very much who I am and still have yet to meet her, that is the muchier and truthier part of the story.

If you didn’t get a chance to play with/fill out my fun Questionnaire, you can do so here.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

 

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