search
top
Currently Browsing: Blogging Along

Thinking Through the Fear

I was sure there had to be another way of thinking of this. I was tired of being terrified of beginning my submission process again. There had to be a way that I could see and understand my fear that would make it OK. I needed to reframe it. And so I thought and thought as I drove the hour and a half home from Baltimore last night.

You see, while having our birthday lunch a month ago, my best friend looked me in the eye and made me promise I’d start submitting my writing again. She said my stuff is as good as anyone’s out there publishing now on the same subjects. She likened my writing to life coach Martha Beck’s. I’m slightly speechless. And this is what best friends are for.Thinking through the fear on Shalavee.com

Publishing my personal essays in magazines and online publications has been a longtime goal of mine. And after repeated attempts to publish my stuff in the wrong places, I gave up. It was too hard and felt too raw. The rejection felt like being outcast and that wasn’t fun. So last night I again questioned myself as to why I have wanted to do this and what my fear really was. And I discovered the truth and the way around it in my answer.

You see, when you are thinking that your life’s work is all about you and your ego, you are easy prey for the fear of rejection. It’s always personal. But when I started to think of the good that my writing has done even so far, the permission that it has given people to do brave things, I realize it is of me but it is not mine altogether. Like a child, you need to set it free for the world to enjoy. In making it about me. I’ve lost sight of what’s important. The writing is the most important thing.

I have found a purpose in my passion. I am here to tell my story and in sharing it, if it helps one other person than it’s worth the work and risk and fear to have done so. I have heard the thirty or so people who have told me to keep going, keep writing what they’re thinking. As I said before, I need to submit…to the process that I now understand is part of a larger plan I can not see. As long as I make it about me, I stay small. The fear is about being rejected. But really it’s about being accepted. I am afraid of discovering that I spent all this time hiding and controlling my talent for fear of nothing.

Thinking through the fear on Shalavee.com

Staying small is no longer an option. It was OK that while I grew as a writer, I stayed small. My blog was a tiny universe where I told my truths and culled my skills as a writer. But the time has come, my 50th year I suppose was the doorway to the next phase, when I need to risk being a bigger better me. Although the faith is wobbly, I am doing the next thing and the next thing. And making it about my readership. I am devoting myself to to my best work for the people who enjoy reading me. For my future book lovers, I am committing to making them proud, giving them the words that they want to pour over and highlight and quote. Because I sometimes see that what I write is even 30% better than what I thought it was.

Before the end of the year, there will be big changes in my blog. Keep your eyes wide open my lovely readers.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Save

Save

Wrap-Up of the Month-Long October Post-athon 2016

And so again, my October month-long marathon post-athon of posting everyday is coming to an abrupt end. As usual, I’m here to tell you again why I did it and what I got out of it. Because that’s how these wrap up things work. See the previous years’ 2015 here, 2014 here, and here is the intro to the first time in 2013.

Like many, I can get to telling myself lies about how I don’t have enough. Time is the biggest resource I can convince myself I’m lacking although it’s really fear of success I’m feeling. So this self-imposed torture/yearly practice of posting every day of October pretty much dispels that lie, short and sweet. I manage to post every loving day, keep my kids and my house fairly tidy, and do other stuff like creativity challenges and have a social life too.Wrap up for the October Post-athon 2016 on Shalavee.com

There’s a Jewish parable, a tale I’ve spoken of before in last years wrap-up, where the man complains about having too much mayhem in his house. So his rabbi tells him to bring in the chickens. Then the goat. Then the cows. And finally, he tells the man to go ahead and move them all out. And then asks him how things are now. He says great. It’s all about creating the perspective. ( See the story here. )

I am amazed that I get away with this every year. That the amount of subjects and creativity keeps coming out of me endlessly seems miraculous. But then creativity flourishes within confines. So I have just about shown myself again how much of a super woman I am and how I can pull off anything I put my mind to.Wrap up for the October Post-athon 2016 on Shalavee.com

So here’s to another month of Sundays gone by and a Happy Halloween to end my month-long gauntlet on. Let it be Spooktacular and Funny Fun Fun!!!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Save

Save

Save

Live to Tape Chats Starring Me

Since the end of July, I have been doing live video broadcasts from my Shalavee.com Facebook page here. My thoughts were that I like talking and people like to see people talk so why the heck don’t I start talking online. Subjects have included Burnout, Creativity, and Perfectionism which was the talk the screen froze and I had to finish in another broadcast. Irony is a funny sexy thing. After I am done taping the 10 -12 minute video, the live video goes to “tape” and is held on my page forever more. As of today, I have done 11 (counting the perfectionism one as one) broadcasts. And this is what I’ve learned.

Personal Ahas

  • Anything you devote yourself to regularly you get better at. I was so timid at first that I almost didn’t want people to be watching. Now that I’ve seen myself over and over, I find I’m compelling and interesting.
  • You have to do your thing just for you. It’s a thrill to share it and get other people to watch your progress but it has to be for your happiness.
  • I’m interesting to watch. My personality really comes through and that’s a strength of mine.
  • Keep writing or talking or dancing even if nobody’s watching.

Live to tape chats on Shalavee.com

Technological Ahas

  • Where there’s a will, the way is even simpler than you think. Fish around and find out how things work. That’s how children learn.
  • Essentially the web is now so user freaking friendly and interconnected that you only need to poke at a few buttons and everything you need to accomplish a task such as downloading or sharing is right there.
  • Conversely, when the writer of the article you read on shooting a live Facebook broadcast apparently has an Iphone and you have an Android, you may shoot the video of yourself sideways (twice) because she said the comments would show up on the side instead of below.
  • And you should always test out your technology ahead of time to make sure it all looks good and upright and loud enough.
  • When doing Live Facebook broadcast, disconnect notifications of Facebook during or your phone will lock up and you’ll have to force stop the app. Sigh.
  • If you have bad internet connection with Verizon, suck it up and accept that you will be pixelated and have weak signal until you figure out another provider.

I think you should do anything you consider a possibility twice before you decide if it’s a good fit. So far, I rather like doing these broadcast. In fact last week I had uninstalled and reinstalled Facebook on my phone to rid myself of a glitch, and inadvertently posted live to my personal page. But in making this mistake, I had a few people show up that I was pleased to see were watching me.

I showed up in the wrong place. But I showed up. And so did they so Yay!!!  Look for me every Friday at noon on my Shalavee Facebook page or watch the taped version of my talking head on my YouTube channel here.

Enjoy my taped talk on Perfectionism. And it’s part two too.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Save

Save

Save

Everyday Posts in October and a Soul Selfie Challenge Too !

As this month wraps up and my month of creativity/Create every day challenge comes to an end, a reminder and perhaps a surprise for new readers, October is the month where I will post a post everyday ! Yes, every loving day! PLUS I will be doing another Soul Selfie Instagram challenge.

For the past several years, I’ve done an entire month of posts in October as a reminder to myself of how much I am capable of. That we can fit a lot of things into our lives with a bit of planning followed by a little autopilot. So 31 days of posting is near upon us. See the start of 2015 here. And the first day of 2014 here. Or peruse the calendar widget in the sidebar.Everyday posts in October on Shalavee.com

It’s a mixed grab bag of posts ranging from pictures without words to evergreen posts (previously published) to all out manifestos. I kinda take it a week at a time and since I’ve done my creativity thing every day in September, it may be a daily show and tell of art pictures.

So set your dials for daily Shalavee and don’t forget to tune in for the Soul Selfie video chats Fridays at noon on my Shalavee.com Facebook page. Or you can just watch it later on my page on YouTube but it sure would be cool if you were there while it happens!Everyday posts in October on Shalavee.com

And yes, I’m announcing another Soul Selfie challenge on Instagram. It will be one week (7 days) of inspirational words for you to use as you see fit to show and tell us what is on your mind, in your heart, weighing you down , or making your soul sail. Soul Selfie week starts the second week of October, the 10th through the 16th.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Save

Save

Save

Save

My Worth on this Earth : Should vs. Wanna Be

I hit a bumpy patch recently where I had to stop myself dead in my tracks. I was drowning in my own good ambitious intentions. And it wasn’t even August yet. So I pulled the plug on myself to reevaluate my priorities. Because knowing what you don’t want is as good as knowing what you do. My inherent worth on the planet was being mugged by shoulds.

I’ve journaled a lot recently and sorting out what I think I see going on. This doesn’t mean I’ll have kicked this recurring habit, this brain hiccup I’m accustomed to having, but I’m closer to calling it the should trap that it is at least.

Seems my drive and ambition to succeed are really just me

trying to prove my worth on this earth.

I am desperate to prove I have a purpose because

I secretly I suspect that I have none. WOW!

My worth in this earth on Shalavee.com

I could feel the fear lapping at my ankles. Misting over my thoughts to avoid letting me get to the bottom of this recurring nightmare. Having had a father who was very ambitious, much to the detriment of our family, I’ve lived the bad effects of ambition. However, I clearly know I want to do work that fulfills my soul and calls me to it. I do not want to do work to impress people but to see what else I can add to the world’s worth by doing it. And to see who I can become by doing this work. If people are impressed, all the better.

While fear pushes, vision pulls.

This is a concept given to me recently by Anna Lovind, a creative coach and wise sage. I can reframe and base my future on what makes my heart sing instead of trying to control the unwanted outcome. And I decide whether the shoulds I’m shoving onto my platter to devour are distasteful. Do they or don’t they represent my purpose? Or am I afraid of fulfilling the potential I have long been swallowing ?My worth in this earth on Shalavee.com

The conflict I’m experiencing, the push and the pull, is all about fear. Fear I’m crap, what I make and write is crap and isn‘t worth publishing. That I have nothing of worth to give. Or that once I start to truly give, I won’t be able to stop and people will expect it of me. Come to think of it, having someone expect me to continue is not too bad a thing. That’s accountability that keeps me blogging or vlogging.

If you maintain integrity with your own happy purpose, people to then expect you to do your best work out of love. C’mon now, that sounds like Heaven to be able to be more you and have people enjoying it and be inspired by it. Now that I put it that way, I’ll have to sit fear down and let her know, she’s getting in my way and if she could have a seat in the corner, that’d be great. We have fun we need to get on to.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Save

Page 1 of 1912345...10...Last »
top