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Hide and Seek : The Invisible Woman

The process of valuing myself and what I have to offer the world all comes down to visibility and on choosing whether to be seen or whether to stay the invisible woman. Fear of unspoken imagined horrors like public ostracization will keep us from coming out and being our truest selves. We’ll put on “I’m fine” shows for our perceived audience while all the while hoping no one gets wind that we are anything but fine. I am so guilty of that.

I’ve written many times about how I felt I was invisible. I couldn’t see myself in a mirror because I had no value. And then I came into the public eye online. And as much as you’d think I’d think myself so so visible now with Twitter and Instagram accounts and two Facebook pages plus a blog, I still manage to stay hidden.Hide and Seek : The Invisible Woman on Shalavee.com

I maintain my own status quo. I write three posts a week which may or may not be read. And I show up on Instagram everyday and repost that to Facebook, but I am still very hidden. Crazy considering the content I share is very deep right?

But I am holding myself back from risking more rejection to gather more readers. I do not care for playing the numbers and counting my followership. I care about providing real people with the real truth I have to give and hope that it will be of help to them. But if I do not reach outside my comfort zone and risk to write for a bigger audience, I am stifling my reach and my writing. I am choosing to stay invisible. And I think my message and many other messages in the world are worth receiving.

So, as with many of the moments when I find that what I am doing is no longer serving me but feel stuck against changing them, I am going to make myself a challenge here. A hundred days of visibility challenge. Yes, I’ll post for a hundred days in row on my Shalavee.com Facebook page about the stuff I’m doing to be more visible or tell the public telling things about myself. I will risk. And I’ll do it daily. I honestly didn’t think of doing this until I began writing this post so WOW. We’ll see what this does for me. I will start my challenge today so if you are on Facebook, I encourage you to find my Shalavee.com Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/ShalaghblogsatShalavee/ .Hide and Seek : The Invisible Woman on Shalavee.com 

How does one be more visible you ask? Instead of doing constantly for others,you choose to do things for you and for the greater good and you own those self goals out loud. You ask for help for yourself claiming your worthiness in your community. You tell people about feeling scared or vulnerable. You show your imperfections. You apologize for your mistakes. Be truthful and see how quickly you are freed from your fearful bonds of the “what ifs”. You see yourself as being there for yourself and reliable and trustworthy to have your valuable needs met.

And you risk rejection in the places that mean the most to you if you win.

So here’s to not being the invisible woman anymore. Here’s to being read and celebrated and supported for my talent. Here’s to no longer fearing just being myself.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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The Fall Soul Selfie Challenge is Here

On May 15th of 2016, I hosted my first Soul Selfie Challenge. As you may already know, I’m all about introspection. And I conceived of the hashtag #Soul_Selfie to house posts that I felt were deeper . And so naturally, next I had to offer up a week-long Instagram challenge to share some deeper thoughts with my community. Except, I was terrified!

I direct messaged a group of four people I trusted and asked them if I should host a challenge and their solid advice was to take the Nike approach and “Just Do It”. Bless their supportive little hearts because I went ahead and hosted that first one and it lifted my spirits so much. Some truly lovely people joined in with me on my challenge and I felt so wonderful and validated.

I would go on to host two more Soul Selfie challenges, later that year in October of 2016 and this past Spring in 2017. And it’s time again to do this challenge thing!

The idea is to take the prompt word and think about a story you can tell that you can be a little more honest about with yourself. To be seen a little more by owning a choice or a way of life that no longer serves you. Or perhaps one that changed your life in a great way. We are all so much more interesting than we first offer and that’s what I love about these challenges.

The other part I love about participating in challenges is all the yummy alliances and acquaintances we get to enjoy. I was on Instagram and didn’t have many friends and I dared myself to do a well-known challenge called April Love. I still have friends from that challenge. The Fall Soul Selfie Challenge id Here on Shalavee.com

So here we go… The Fall Soul Selfie Challenge of 2017 starts in three days! And I sooooo look forward to seeing what wonderful offerings show up on that hashtag page which now houses 494 posts! But I look more forward to getting to know more about a community that I hold dear and appreciate for supporting me and helping to raise me up in my self-worth. I am forever indebted.

If you have any questions about the challenge, direct message me on Instagram or Facebook or pop a comment in this post at the bottom.For a sampling of what the last Fall Soul Selfie Challenge held, see this post.

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Hello to October and My Plans

You’ve probably noticed it’s October already. Your calendar and your weather probably gave it away. But the meaning of the season change is personal and relative to each of us. For me it’s a slowing down and an opportunity for deeper work.

 

Yes, this is the month I got married and the month my husband and two of my very good friends were born in. It’s the weather shift I adore the most from Summer to actual Fall, and consequently I feel most alive in. But it’s also back to school time where I get more uninterrupted days in a row than before. Than Ever.Hello to October and What I Have Planned on Shalavee.com

 

And it’s been my practice for the past several years to challenge myself to post every single day of October on the blog. Quite the challenge that I always seem to pull off. But not this year. Where the busy blog may gain a few more readers that I can hope hold on through the holidays and all my decorating posts, that doesn’t honor my deeper needs and intentions for this blog and myself.

 

I am hoping to develop a deeper writing practice this Fall wherein I might come up with deeper thoughts and bigger offerings. To hone my passions and thereby, my purpose. November in fact is the month when many writers take part in the NaNoWriMo challenge. National Novel Writing Month started in 1999 and essentially is an established event during which a bunch of people finish writing their books.

 

What I’d like to establish is a writing habit. I could care less if I finish any book but would rather know I have the ability and the system that is in place to write and think in an organized productive fashion. Period. I’ve headed toward the intention to establish this and think maybe taking yourself seriously and creating a disciplined routine is a very good way to not only accomplish something but also prove you can.Hello to October and What I Have Planned on Shalavee.com

 

So my thoughts on October are for a month full of fall fun (cute pictures to come) and respecting those tasks and goals which you had to deny yourself before but can no longer deny beginning. Be it the painting of the walls of your ugliest room in your house before the weather changes, or creating disciplined habits that serve you well through the coming season, now is the time to set up the list of intentions, tools, and time tables. I’ll share my process with you as it works itself out.

 

Meanwhile, Happy October ! Hope you are embracing its meaning in your life too.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Plans and Choices Are Yours to Make

When I became a new Mom, I perfected part of my system of finding hope by making plans. I would go to the library and collect books on whatever my questioned subject was. And then I would read and read and read. I’d grab some knowledge tidbit from these books and make a plan to use it. This would give me hope to change the outcome I’d been enduring, (think baby perpetually waking at 3 am or continuing to stand up in crib instead of falling asleep) and get me through the days better by fighting my anxiety with an action plan. My confidence was still wobbly but, armed with more knowledge, I believed I had the power to solve my problem.

 

There is no one right way to do self-development. We are all unique and our needs are different for each. Sure we may all benefit from some of the same skill-building exercises but our journeys and life recipes for success are so specific to us, we can not follow anyone’s path but our own.Plans and choices on Shalavee.com

 

Our paths and the choices we make to create them are unique and specific to us. No one but you can tell you what this looks like. You need to tell you. As scary as that is, it’s also liberating. We have the right , the freedom, and the obligation to create our own paths using our own intuitions. Out intuition tells us what we need to know and learn next. And the largest trick, after admitting we’re the ones controlling our lives and our futures, is tuning into our intuitions and hearing what they say.

 

But if we listen hard enough, we can hear hope and excitement burbling up out of our souls. When we engage in pursuing our curiosity and our passions, we discover the ideas and the plans that will be the choices that work for us.

Plans and choices on Shalavee.com

I believe it’s never too late to start listening to ourselves. To give the credibility of choices to our inner child to decide a direction of joy for us to pursue even part-time is a balloon for your soul. My wise husband says, “If you’re not having fun, you’re not doing it right.” And I want to say that definitely applies to your life as a whole. So follow your inklings and twinklings and see where they take you. And listen to everyone who makes sense until they stop. And to yourself when you start.

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

Impatience Makes You Feel You’ve Already Failed

Have you ever you read something and thought immediately you needed that to be true for you too? Sooner than Later. My journey through blogging and self-discovery has set me face to face with so many options and ideas on how to be and do. And it would seem that I often did myself an injustice with my impatience. I wanted desperately to change where I was on my journey timeline. I wanted to be successful and self-actualized already! But because I couldn’t, I felt perpetually bad instead.

Personally, and professionally, I had set my expectations and goals so high, I had to rise to them to be the person I have always meant to be Right Now, knowing everything and producing brilliance… or else I was a failure. Right Now.

There’s no room for humanity in there. There’s no room for growth, no acknowledgement of what I’d already accomplished, and nowhere to stand that’s not inside my skin that felt bad on me.

My impatience was a clue that I already thought I was a failure. The trick is, to move on, you actually have to be OK with where you are now. And then you have to trust yourself that you either posses or will find all the pieces to make that puzzle work. The true trick is in trusting yourself. Impatience Makes You Feel You've Already Failed on Shalavee.com

I came up with an acronym today for TRUST. Take Root Under (the) Self Tree.

We need to feel secure in our ability to shelter ourselves from the life storms. We have to feel grounded in our own vast amounts of knowledge and experience. We can not move on, trust others, or find our own work brilliant, if we don’t have a relationship with ourselves that isn’t hostile and anxiety filled. All that comes of that is more self-bullying and anxiety.

I discovered that being mean to myself and comparing myself and my blog to others and their bodies or bodies of work didn’t help motivate me in the least. So I have my grounding rock in my pocket, I’m sitting down each day to devote myself to my craft and my self-discovery. And my hope is that this work will pay off eventually. So for now, I’m going to trust the process and be OK with right where I am now.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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