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A Redefinition of Me

A redefinition of me means finding out what I am not. I am not 25. Haven’t been for a while.

Resigned to my limitations, I have permission to become someone I want to be instead of someone I can’t be.

I begin to see my power disguised in what I can’t and won’t do. Frankly, it’s been a lot of work being a sex kitten.

If I judge myself with the eyes of the 25 year old me, I disregard all my learnings and earnings getting here. Being called Mom doesn’t always actually suck. Can’t vouch for my son’s take on this but he’d probably agree.

I can only look to the future for the changes I’ll be proud of. They’re the only changes I’ll be able to make.

I revel in these choices, the ones I can make. The ones I couldn’t make, like who my parents weren’t and what their genetics did to me, certainly can be seen to mean something more. But they still are what they are.

I am what I am and daily, I find the beauty and humor in just being me… here… now. “Sometimes that’s all we have”, said the friend who fell out of my life.

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2 Responses to “A Redefinition of Me”

  1. Shari says:

    Oh, my god! I love this page. I miss you girlfriend. My life, working and soon working and go to school, is beginning to settle in. I would love to get together with you.

    I am so proud of you for doing the blog. I will go back and read the rest of them. But for now, GET READY FOR WORK OR YOU WILL BE LATE!! Love you

  2. Julie Buchness says:

    It is late, and I don’t have anything intelligent to say, but just wanted to give you my support on your blog. I have thought about you many times over the years, and your strength was always foremost in my mind. I am glad you are writing and exploring all things soulful.

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