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My Herstory of Unwanted Advances

What’s the official name for an uninvited unwanted advance? Those occasions when men have ungraciously invaded our personal spaces to “offer’ their manliness to us. Situations that put we women into a victim role warding off hands or words of a sexual aggressive nature? Yeah the incidents we’ve accepted as just part of womanhood.

I’ve had more than several of those. I just didn’t give the advances or my distaste for their memory any credence. But they’re still there lurking about testifying to a world that victimizes young women. The world where personal boundaries are optional.

There was that time when the well known local television anchorman cornered my twenty year old self in a dead end hallway of the under construction television station. I was a beautiful young intern. He was a lascivious veteran of trapping young beautiful interns.

There was the time when my great uncle tried to grope my teenage body in the local Missouri swimming hole. I think I told him to get his hands off me old man. That did the trick.

My Herstory of Unwanted Advances on Shalavee.com

There was the time my boyfriend’s father tried to give me a back massage, aka feel me up. I was 19 and upon telling my boyfriend this, he exclaimed there was no possible way his father could have done that since that man had almost become a priest.

There was the time that my ex-husband wanted to put his fingers in places I was uncomfortable with.

There was that time when I had split from that husband and my male co-worker wanted to offer his manly services to me if I ever felt lonely.

That’s probably enough to prove my unwanted advance track record? I have endured and stuffed these many occurrences, as many man women do, with the hope that my daughter will be savvier as well as live in a world less tolerant of this. In fact, I want to shout with my new loud voice, do this to my daughters and die. We never ask for the attention so why should I or she ever have to deal with it again? Although I also am reminded, I am never a victim unless I want to claim that title.

And I want to note my hope that our male partners will stand with us for these and so many more issues that separate us and diminish our power. Awareness is something we build together and a collective intolerance is change I support.

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And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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