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Hush Hush Voices Carry

I have always been a loud person. I got my boisterousness, my exuberance, and my volume honestly. My mother’s laugh is loud enough so that you can find her at a State Fair. I am a truth teller, a devotee to honesty and the catharsis of storytelling.

When I was a teen, I met many people who really wanted me to hush up, quiet down, tone it down, etc.. My loudness, my truthfulness made them nervous. And so I began to resent being Shushed. But I believe my honesty makes people the most nervous.

hush hush voices carry on shalavee.com

In a world where you have to strive to fit in, where you supposed to tell other people’s truths, truthfulness isn’t valued. Even though talk television is brimming with true tales of self-defeat by addiction and the tragic sadness of self-hatred, it seems that it is still something that people aren’t allowed to talk about in the real world. Over coffee or a cocktail. Especially not on a public platform like a blog!

But here I am people. I don’t think I knew where this blog would lead me or what I would get up to by writing it. But I bloomed because of it. And my wobbly self-esteem and racy admissions have proven to be the very thing that people secretly wanted to hear someone else saying so they knew they weren’t the only ones.

I am loud and proud to be a wobbly uncertain human. And I appreciate and have compassion for everyone, even the ones that want to shush me, because you are just as human too.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

I Wish I Had Time To Care, But I Don’t , So I Won’t

It seems enough that I just chose to shop at this particular establishment. I chose that over all other places offering the same merchandise to spend my money. Sometimes the proprietor or establishment acknowledges this fact and I like when they do that. Outside my voting power, I equally value my buying power.

NO THANK YOU!

So why is it that I am now expected to fill out an ever loving survey after I’ve done this service for them. The poor cashier who has to pull out their pen and write their name on my receipt and ask me personally to take their online survey within thirty six hours of my purchase and I may be entered into a pool to win a pool.

I Wish I Had Time To Care, But I Don't , So I Won't on Shalavee.com

I walk out of that store and I’m the one spending my effort and time on that item. Except for when I have to enter the amount I spent into my checkbook, I am moving my effort on. I find it rude to be asked to do work for free. I’m exhausted with all the obligatory patience I have to spend already on clothing and children smelling and looking clean. I’m fried after having to fry, or even consider the frying of, the fishes in my pan 21 times a week.

It ‘s not that I want every day to be Mother’s Day, I just don’t want to be asked to do anymore. My time is way more precious. Just Do It requires will power to complete.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Why Do I Do It? When My Reasons Don’t Ring True

I recently told you that I did not achieve the weight loss I had hoped to withing my given amount of time. In fact, I admitted I think being on Weigh Watchers seemed to make me gain weight. As in, who are you to tell me how many points I need, I’ll decide that. 4 months later, I ask myself, what if my why is just wrong. Because no matter the physiological cause and effects, “Whys” run the show.

So I am regarding those today and seeing what my truth might be. In the case of the losing weight, I think my reason is to be skinnier because I hate myself larger. Right there, the anger and judgment is what I’m stumbling on. “So you’ll like me” is never a good reason.

Why Do I Do It? When My Reasons Don't Ring True on Shalavee.com

A year ago when I was anxious and feeling down on myself for not being more successful. I should be publishing more, I should spend ore time writing seriously. But what I realize there is that “Because I should is also not a very good motivator.

These are habits which are tremendously hard to break. The habit of self-judgment. The habit of not enough. And after you recognize yourself participating in this habit, the only thing that can be done is to heap giant doses of self-compassion on yourself, consider that you are always where you are supposed to be despite all your rampant shoulds, and fin a bigger better why.

Why Do I Do It? When My Reasons Don't Ring True on Shalavee.com

So, what is another Reason Why I would like to lose ten pounds? What if I don’t need to be fixed? What if no one cares what I look like but me. What if I would like to prove that I could despite my old lady metabolism? Something needs to change in my thoughts before I can change anything.

But one things for sure, I need to be OK right where I am or I’m not going anywhere.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Motherhood is a Choice, Not Mandatory

Mother’s Day was a hoot this year. Mark made sure that my every need was overly taken care of. My children said they loved me every half hour and I got thee wishes plus one more fulfilled. Household tasks I would otherwise be blown off for asking were taken care of speedily like sorting through a pile of paperwork and reattaching my newel post. And I only went shopping and cooked a tenderloin and a pie. The rests of the meals were taken care of by my family.

Motherhood is a Choice, Not Mandatory on Shalavee.com

But I also understand that Mother’s Day is one of those holidays that not everyone celebrates. Especially if they themselves have chosen not to be a mother.

Jenny Brown, a woman I am friends with on Instagram, in response to conversations about her choice not to choose motherhood but instead chose to devote herself to her art, said this,

“To all of us who have been told that not having kids is “selfish,” who had strangers wish them a Happy Mother’s Day yesterday without even them even knowing if you have a child, and for those like me who chose not to have a child but instead nurture their art, please stand proud. And remember, being a mom is not a requirement of being a woman. When people ask me if I’m sad or feel like I “missed out,” in my heart I know those questions often come from the speaker’s own anxiety on missing out on opportunities, dreams, and travels they didn’t take. I’m so thankful I don’t feel that way about my life ❤️”.

first and 2nd week of the 2019 100 Day project on Shalavee.com
Day 15 of the 100 Day Challenge 2019

Motherhood is an option that not all women choose to follow through with. Just because you can doesn’t mean you must if it’s not right for you. While I feel for the many who would like to have kids and either can’t or are terrified to try, I also know that my creativity wouldn’t have been nourished as well as if I hadn’t had kids.

Motherhood is a Choice, Not Mandatory on Shalavee.com

Creative women often throw out their creative endeavors to keep their children “alive”. A double edged sword because, if you aren’t expressing your authenticity, you may be dying a slow death inside which the children will definitely pick up on and copy later in life. And what it takes to keep them actually alive becomes less and less about alive and more about “comfortable”, aka spoiling them. We give up ourselves for fear of not giving them the best life we could. Not worth the price because the best life would be to model our entitlement to our creative gals, wouldn’t it?

Motherhood is a huge mind mess and everyone would be happier to stand by their choice to be in it all the way, or stay right the heck out of it and cheer us mothers on. Because either way, it is a choice,

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

A Walk in the Woods for a Little Forest Bathing

Walking the Cross Island Trail on Kent Island here on Maryland’s Eastern Shore, USA, is an escape walk for me. Even with the whooshing of the nearby highway, I go just 100 feet down the asphalt pathway and suddenly I’m surrounded by tall trees and wondrous birdsong. I went forest bathing, or Shinrin-yoku, today and the Nature Therapy is always necessary.

A Walk in the Woods for a Little Forest Bathing on Shalavee.com
A Walk in the Woods for a Little Forest Bathing on Shalavee.com

I chose to go East this time instead of West. And I enjoyed the change of the feel of the forest and the water views. Old dark stumps crouching on the woods floor felt like cat beasts ready to pounce. Met a happy little turtle who was sunning himself until I made him panic. A pigeon perched on the bridge across Piney Creek to greeted me. And I avoided plenty of poison ivy as I stayed on the yellow brick road.

A Walk in the Woods for a Little Forest Bathing on Shalavee.com
A Walk in the Woods for a Little Forest Bathing on Shalavee.com

A half hour out and then a half hour back to my car awaiting my return in the parking lot of the Peruvian Chicken place to ferry me and a lunch special homeward. I am full and exercised and can no longer feel the pull in my right hamstring. I finished my walk before the dark clouds unloaded on me.

Sadly, the allergy place was not open for allergy shots which was the reason I had traveled the half hour there. So I’ll just have to reschedule to go back for another walk and a $5 chicken platter with beans and rice after my shots. Oh well.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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