search
top

What Will I Get Up To This Year?

Now that I have addressed the majority of my anxiety by taking the step to ask for pharmaceutical assistance from my doctor (he actually warned me not to quit after I was feeling better and I laughed at him and said,”You don’t know me. I’m the first one to admit I have this problem all over social media. I’m good for life now”), I realized that I can again start from here and do anything I want to do.

Armed with my Word of the Year, Focus, I can don my sparkly cape and head off in the direction that feels the best for me. That kind of permission is a little daunting. Like a free period during school, should you binge eat Hoho’s of go grab a smoke or take a walk or write in your journal? Suddenly being able to choose feels overwhelming.

But I started to think about the projects in my year that will be inevitable. I’ll most likely do a 100 day project again come April. There’s the ICAD project in June and July. And perhaps I’ll host my own creativity month somewhere in there. Those are the times when I feel focused and alive. Unlike writing, I have a pretty tangible thing for my efforts. It’s very gratifying too to have all the admiration that production gets you.

What else have I been thinking? I claimed my intention to continue to work on my soul as I connect with community and devote myself to creativity. So it would seem that community connections would be something that may need my attention. I say this but I still have yet to join those group classes at the gym. Or create a Facebook group or make a date to chat via Skype with some of my online people. I need to put my actions behind my words it seems.

And then there’s my writing. I need to respect my abilities and share them with the world. I love blogging and will continue to share what I am doing because it keeps me alive as a writer. This is the year that I need to commit to larger writing challenges more. I enjoyed the heck out of writing the Wholehearted piece for Quiet Writing’s Terri Connelan. So we shall see what and where I can find to continue this kind of writing expansion.

As always, I commit t0 my growth and betterment and to use the blog as a way to pursue that. Whether it’s reporting my art project progress or speaking about what I’m feeling or the lovely place and people I share my life with, I will keep showing up here. Until it no longer serves me. Thank you for reading what I write even if I don’t know you are. You make my day.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Being Where You Are isn’t a Race

I was driving to my appointment this morning on a salt encrusted two lane highway, my cruise control set at 60 mph when I noticed that the speed limit was 55 mph. And I went to set it up five more notches and realized this: if there’s no one to compare ourselves to, we are fine going at our own pace. That hit me kind of funny.

Being Where You Are isn't a Race on Shalavee.com

I do in fact believe we are all exactly where we need to be at any given moment. The idea that we should be somewhere different is a construct of comparison. The people that sped past me today needed to be ahead of me. But if I’m on time for my appointment then I am exactly where I need to be even with people passing me.

I struggle with my limiting beliefs of my value and my competence. Certain that I’ll be unable to do something, I may not even try. Or I may find myself jealous of some peoples’ progress but not of others. Which all comes down to fear every time. But what if I knew I was right where I needed to be. And the only person I needed to impress or challenge was me? What if I kept my eyes on my prize, what would that look like? Maybe I have been too distracted to be clear about what my destination truly is?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Searching For Self Boundaries

As Little People, we have a lot of work to do sorting out where we start and others end, how capable we are, and how important and loved we are. These tasks are our primary objectives second only to playing. And if these tasks are incomplete, we’ll live a lifetime of trying to complete them. We will do this perpetually until we decide what we’re worth.

My daughter pokes at me with her misbehavior to find out all of these things. Is she important enough to care about to put boundaries on? Discipline actually means love. Just yesterday we pulled back out the chore chart because she is begging to e reeled in.

Searching for self boundaries on Shalavee.com

Kids whose parents just aren’t or can’t be there for them may look further for boundaries to be set for them by teachers or school authorities or law enforcement as they fear their unimportance. We all just want to be seen and to know we’re important. We forget or never learn that we become the parent to ourselves as we grow. We fear our own abandonment and we quell our fears of unimportance with eating, drinking, drugging, or sex.

I am committed to being as present and as mean a parent as I possibly can because I know the pain of feeling unimportant. And I want my daughter to not have to work so hard to know she exists and matters to the world. And because I want my children to be as addiction free as they can be. I wish for the unhappy cycle to end in this generation.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

My New Fitness Goals

While I mull over possible new work/art goals for the coming year, using my new word of the year “Focus” to guide me, I have taken other proactive steps to take care of my body betterment too. For a week plus, I have been using my new Christmas Fitbit to track my movements and exercise. And yesterday I resigned up with Weight Watchers for three months. The difference in my attitude, I believe I can improve my body fitness.

My husband and I both lost weight on their program a couple years ago. But between living and Christmas, I regained the ten pounds. Happily, before Christmas I decided to only wear clothing that was comfortable and stylish. I bought enough pieces to rotate, and I let go of my daily body hatred. What a difference not to be mean to myself daily. And through the holidays, I knew that I had the intention of rejoining the Weight Watchers program so I trusted this was not always the way I would be.

my new fitness goals on Shalavee.com

“In Process” means that you get to give yourself credit even though you haven’t reached your ultimate goal yet. Results in the making are something to be proud of. You can’t birth a baby or a book in a day but people are always wishing you luck when you’re gestating. Because life takes work, it is a process.

So in three months time I hope to be twelve pounds lighter, extremely proud of myself, and truly letting go of wardrobe pieces that don’t fit me stylistically. We’ll see what April 10th brings but I’m sure you’ll know sooner.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

In the Process : No Worry, Scurry, or Hurry

Beyond the lovey afterglow of our holiday happenings, what I’m enjoying the most is the lack of worrying about pretty much everything. I used to run on my anxiety. I’d wake in the morning and consider all the ways in which I’d already failed. But my new medication has got me waking up to see what the day will bring. And that is a good thing.

No more hurry, scurry, and worry. Just be in the process.

I used to make lists at the end of the day of all that I did just to give myself credit for my work. Now I approach the day with the attitude of whatever I get done gets done. I’m not as concerned about what needs doing as long as I’m engaged in doing it. And this reminded me of the concept that it is never about the results but always about the process. Because life itself is a process. Yes, if you keep going, eventually you will reach the completion of a task. But the gratifying part is the work. As soon as you finish reading a book,your are sad because there is no more.

I dragged the crunchy Christmas tree outside and stripped it of it’s lights today. And I plucked the little electric Christmas candles from our windows. I dragged my slothlike body back to the YMCA and burned 300 calories on the elliptical. And spent some time prepping salad mix for the upcoming week of salads I will be eating. All without a thought as to how incompetent or fat I am today. All without speeding here or there or angsting over what I can’t do today.

When I get my daughter off the bus, that will prove the more trying part of my day. The rush of changing to go back to ballet tonight. But tomorrow, a sweet silent day to wile away as I please focusing on anything that I deem most important at the moment. No worry, no scurry, no hurry on Shalavee.com

When I get my daughter off the bus, that will prove the more trying part of my day. The rush of changing to go back to ballet tonight. But tomorrow, a sweet silent day to while away as I please focusing on anything that I deem most important at the moment. No worry, no scurry, no hurry.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

« Previous Entries Next Entries »

top