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Making Room For ME

January is the month of purging and cleaning. And there’s just as much of this going on inside me as well as inside my house. In many ways I feel I am starting over with who I see myself to be as the anxious me has met its match in the medicine I’m taking. I feel like the space I am making is for the new me to move in.

I have a choice.

I feel I can.

These two statements didn’t belong to me before. I courted them and they whispered their promises but they never belonged to me until now. The background noise has been quelled thanks to Lexapro, and I am intently listening to what my intuition already knows.

Making Room for Me o Shalavee.com

So I am making space for me to move back into my life my spaces. Clearing the corners out so I can expand into them. Letting go of what no longer reflects and serves me. This is not a new concept. I remember a woman named Gail Blanke who made a quick mint selling her book, Throw Out Fifty Things: Clear the Clutter, Find Your Life. And I embraces the concept then as I do now.

We are not static beings. If we evolve then that must mean that most of the flotsam and jetsum that we create from our workings becomes obsolete. We are not even the same person we were last week much less last decade. I do draw the line of discarding stuff at my journals however. Some women were discussing how they either didn’t want to burden their heirs with the collection of their life spewings or they just didn’t want anyone else reading them. I have no problem with either.

Making Room for Me o Shalavee.com

So I am continuing to decide what is important to me. What thoughts make me happy. I saw myself in a vision with a lion’s mane type aura. Pride perhaps? I need room to make that happen. So all the bins with stuff are leaving my craft room and there’s just space, glorious space for me to expand me into.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

My Definition of Me Project

It all started when I asked, who do I think I am? I intended to facetiously ask myself this as in do I have the authority to speak on this subject? And then I realized that knowing who I am is in fact a good way to star the year.

I am on my 11th day now of defining myself via pictures and posts on Instagram and it’s been an interesting project. Here are a few of my Instagram posts.

My definition of me project on SHalavee.com

“Today I decided to challenge myself to two weeks of claiming Who I Think I Am. Every day I am going to focus on a facet of me that I appreciate. I am tagging them with #MydefinitionofShalagh. . 🔮HOPEFUL🔮

I seem to possess an unlimited amount of positivity and hope. This seems odd for all the bad stuff I’ve endured but hope is just in the fiber of my soul. “

#MydefinitionofShalagh .

“Day 4 … I am Kind (but not necessarily nice). #MydefinitionofShalagh .

My Mother told me this the other day. Honestly, I abhor the whole Nice Girl thing as it’s loaded with compliance and subservience. But I agree that I am Kind. I was acutely aware at the holidays of how much kindness means. I thanked people profusely. And I poured it on thickly promising to continue throughout the year with that intention.”

my definition of me project on Shalavee.com

“Day 6 … I am a Domestic Goddess.
#MydefinitionofShalagh

My kids have no concept that many children do not get homemade  chocolate chip buttermilk pancakes for breakfast. They take it for granted and that’s ok. I am a cook, a feeder Mom, and terribly house proud. I want my home to be comfortable, cozy, and fun. There is no shame in being a homebody. I am proud to spin this web of safety everyday for me and my family.”

I am a cat whisperer, I am a lush, and I am trustworthy except to myself. I am continuing to figure out who I think I am. Follow along on social media if you can or would like. As always, thank you for reading.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Manifesting Happiness

I have been asked many times to call up my vision of what I want my life to look like, to feel like. Somehow that always seemed ludicrous to me. Maybe I didn’t believe I deserved to be happy or I didn’t believe that I was in that much control of my destiny. But now I believe it’s not only my choice to be happy, it’s my right. And manifesting your happiness is not only good for you but everyone you know and love.

I erased my white board in my craft room. Ghosts of a year full of pushed and strained aspirations. All those well meant plans scribbled in multiple colors meant to urge me on through all the tasks that I knew I should and must do to make progress. Why do we live must lives instead of want lives? I was living a life of never enough and doing it all for the wrong reasons.

5 years of journals plus planners

Living the “right” life, the happy life will not mean that I hold a knife to my own throat daily as a way of pushing myself to achieve what I think I should. The ends might seem like they justify the means but then I end up not trusting myself to be kind to me.

Instead I want to do more of what makes me happy. To choose to spend my thoughts and efforts on “want to’s ” and to relax into knowing that the world is for me and not against me. To tune into the people and activities that bring me joy and have faith that joy is where my vision will lead me. I am intrigued aren’t you?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

I Was Worthless

I have come to understand that the two areas of me that need the most work are self-trust and self-value. I believe that my lack of self-trust is what causes anxiety. And my lack of self-value is otherwise known as low self-esteem or self-worth.

It struck me the other day that I have truly believed for a long time that I am worthless. I almost laughed at the ludicrousness of this concept.

As children, we believe what we do about ourselves based on what our world shows us. Everything reflects our worth. And if my parents weren’t available to shower me with unlimited love right when I needed it, it must have reflected my lack of worthiness. And that stuff sticks around. The inner child’s decision of worthlessness will not be dissuaded because they are all ego, the center of the universe. Absolute importance or unimportance.

For 10 years, I have been working on raising my self-esteem. But while I could see these parts of me that I disliked and wanted to rid myself of, I was powerless to move from this magnetic grip that my low self-esteem had on me. I was tethered to my recognitions of my worthlessness. Because that is how it always has been. Until I released myself.

The one two punch combination against my worthlessness began with understanding that I was bullying myself. That no man has ever oppressed me as well as I have oppressed myself. And I proceeded to shower compassion down on myself. And then I chose to alleviate my anxiety with my last resorted option : medication.

I have always had a knife to my throat as nothing I ever did was good enough. But now I have been released from my tether to my not good enough thoughts. Instead of seeing myself as fat, I see myself as pre-skinnier. I looked in the mirror the other day and caught sight of myself and thought that I was pretty. The fact that I can see the difference in the way I was as opposed to the way I feel now seems slightly miraculous. And I probably deserve a few miracles in my life

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

My “Who Do I Think I am Challenge”

Something that’s been on my mind or late is how much I do not value myself both who I am and what I do. This is not a new idea. I was teasing myself asking “Who do you think you are?” and suddenly I thought, “No really, who do you think you are?” Because that is a very valid question and may need answering on a regular basis.

Here’s what I thought up to answer this question. I often see people online posting their own personal themed challenges for themselves. As they hashtag their posts specifically, you can see their progress by reading that hashtag page. And they can see what their focused intentions garnered them. And since I chose Focus as my word, I thought this may be a good challenge for myself.

So I’m going to spend each day of the next 2 weeks answering myself on who I think I am in posts on Instagram tagging them with #MydefinitionofShalagh . I have done posts on I Am before but perhaps who you think you are deserves revisiting regularly?

Because who you are and what you’ve done are different values of you. Being and Doing. And If I keep valuing myself for what I do rather than who I am, I don’t know how I will evolve and move onward.

I’ll keep you updated !

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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