search
top

Embrace the Hedonistic Ways of Your 20’s

In my 20’s, there was a beauty supply outlet up the street from me. I bought my first bottle of henna there. And over the years, I collected, nay amassed, a pretty impressive array of lipsticks and nail polishes. I hoarded mud masks and liquid eyeliners and I was hedonistic heroine with a date to go somewhere every weekend.

Flash forward to today and self-care looks like deodorant, a root touch-up, and my bi-monthly pedicure by someone who I pay to touch my grody feet. Gone are the days of beauty laden afternoons with a Walkman playing my favorite Inxs cassette. There is no one to buy me a drink and check out my hot body at the singles bar.Embrace the Hedonistic Ways of Your 20's

Instead, I’ve got my comfy pants on and hair pulled back in a unbrushed pony knot while I consider whether I want to enjoy gluten on Friday night pizza and movie night or not. I am the first one and the last one my daughter sees every day and she often points out my saggy skin and crooked teeth. The mirror mirror on my wall isn’t telling me what I what to hear anymore.

Life can be determinedly unfun and I was thinking, maybe I need to get back to some of the more selfish practices that made my youth so carefree. Plan days where fun is the only objective. Or days where it’s just me I can think of. Free to Be Me days.Embrace the Hedonistic Ways of Your 20's

Coffee or lunch with a girlfriend always feels decadent. Manicures are so unnecessary until you get them. And even reading can feel like an absolute luxury. But what would my inner hedonistic 20 year old do? Get a facial and go dancing. A spontaneous road trip to visit an old friend for lunch? Or buy something completely frivolous and pretty just because.

No I’m not going to go pick up strange men in bars but I forget that I’m still a person inside this wife and mother’s body. And she may need to be repaid with more fun units on occasion. To remember how it was when I prioritized me before the small ones usurped my existence. To entertain the ridiculous whims of a hormonal 20 something and see what happens. To feel like, to know I’m a goddess and treat myself as much.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Choosing to Live in the House of Can

I had a profound and liberating thought this past weekend.

What if we knew and understood that every day we understood our ability to ground and anchor our thoughts. If we could lead ourselves with knowledge and intention through our days instead of reacting to fearful feelings that take over and derail us. Take myself out of autopilot. What a different life I’d lead.

Somehow we get our feelings tangled up with our facts. We can believe that how we are feeling, mainly fear, means there was something to be afraid of. But that truly isn’t the reality most of the time.Choosing to Live in the House of Can on Shalavee.com

With all of these thoughts that we have, the perception that we are powerless against our own feelings and thoughts means that we are powerless against ourselves??? Powerless against ourselves. And further we feel powerless against the news and our neighbors and anyone who crosses our path. That just seems a little crazy and exhausting to me.

So I am thinking that perhaps I need to create a mantra, a spiritual practice, every day to remind me that in every moment there’s an opportunity to choose how we want to think about our lives and our purpose for our days. And perhaps I won’t dwell so much in the house of Can’t as much but instead in the house of Can.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

A Poem Prayer for Ease

I chatter at it and

Batter at it and

still it is not fixed.

The ages old self-diatribe

I am not enough, I am not enough

 

I tell everyone, I’m OK, I’m fine

But in my mind there’s a line

And I’m on the wrong side.

 

The impossibility of moving on

Tethered to a ghost.

I trust no one, even myself

And so I remain lost

 

I crave the ease

The easy squeeze

that will fill my future full

Of gratitude and tenderness

of purposed hours filled.

 

I write at night

with all my sight

that I might

win this fight.

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Navigating the World’s Shoulds

So many shoulds coming at us daily. Other people’s recipes for our lives flooding our heads. The shoulds of womanhood, motherhood, parenthood, successful people, healthy people, and intelligent people. Of good daughters and good citizens and good Christians.

Oh you know what the shoulds sound like. I should have a clean house, a balanced diet, and spiritual practice. I should have polite children, a health insurance plan, and an IRA account. Everywhere I turn, there is some spoken, or unspoken rule that tells me what I should be, say, and know. And I find it exhausting.Navigating the World's Shoulds on Shalavee.com

As former small people, we have a hard time doing what we are told we should do, even when the should comes from ourselves. So there we are with our own laundry list of shoulds and then we get the world adding to it. We should be skinny, we should be saving, and we should be up on current events.

But in the end, what we truly think is what matters. Do we trust ourselves to say, “No thank you, I don’t need to worry about being skinnier with the holidays coming up.” Or, “No thank you, I don’t care to worry about decorating the outside of my house when I need to clean the kitchen floor today.” It’s always our choice to decide what matters to us.Navigating the World's Shoulds on Shalavee.com

We get to throw out the shoulds that do not serve us and listen hard to the coulds that are in or hearts. We really should go see that movie before it leaves the theater but we feel like staying home and watching a movie on our own couch instead. Or, we really should finish reading the library book due tomorrow but instead we feel like cooking brownies with our kids.

What shoulds are you holding on to that you may be able to let go of for the holiday season? If you must, schedule your number one in your calendar and then gift yourself with a schedule of coulds instead.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Daunting Freedom of Choice to Fail

I have written ad nauseam about the amazing gift we have to choose our lives. We get to choose our lifestyles and who we call community. We get to choose what we believe and how we practice what we believe, where we spend our money and where we don’t. And while it’s a giddy freedom to know that our choices are truly up to us, it is also daunting and possibly terrifying.

The potential to make a mistake is forever your company. I have a “first marriage”. There were people we hired to work on our house who we shouldn’t have. There is an amount of debt rolled into my mortgage for the antiques and gift shop that I failed to succeed with.The Daunting Freedom of Choice to Fail on Shalavee.com

But there are also bits and pieces of those failed choices that made me who I am. Disappointments that shaped me into the person I am. Choices that will lead me to better choices, to streamlining my choice making processes. And to be a little more aware of when my inner voice tells me to beware.

If I believe that failure lays the path to success then the faith in this is the very tool I need to get through to the success. That and the knowledge that failure is a circumstance and not something you are. Separating myself from the outcomes of the my choices may be the key to choosing to fail more. And aspiring to more successes than just keeping safe.

What is your outlook today on the success of your life? Are you choosing to risk or staying safe within a life recipe that doesn’t fit you?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

« Previous Entries Next Entries »

top