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Embrace the Hedonistic Ways of Your 20’s

In my 20’s, there was a beauty supply outlet up the street from me. I bought my first bottle of henna there. And over the years, I collected, nay amassed, a pretty impressive array of lipsticks and nail polishes. I hoarded mud masks and liquid eyeliners and I was hedonistic heroine with a date to go somewhere every weekend.

Flash forward to today and self-care looks like deodorant, a root touch-up, and my bi-monthly pedicure by someone who I pay to touch my grody feet. Gone are the days of beauty laden afternoons with a Walkman playing my favorite Inxs cassette. There is no one to buy me a drink and check out my hot body at the singles bar.Embrace the Hedonistic Ways of Your 20's

Instead, I’ve got my comfy pants on and hair pulled back in a unbrushed pony knot while I consider whether I want to enjoy gluten on Friday night pizza and movie night or not. I am the first one and the last one my daughter sees every day and she often points out my saggy skin and crooked teeth. The mirror mirror on my wall isn’t telling me what I what to hear anymore.

Life can be determinedly unfun and I was thinking, maybe I need to get back to some of the more selfish practices that made my youth so carefree. Plan days where fun is the only objective. Or days where it’s just me I can think of. Free to Be Me days.Embrace the Hedonistic Ways of Your 20's

Coffee or lunch with a girlfriend always feels decadent. Manicures are so unnecessary until you get them. And even reading can feel like an absolute luxury. But what would my inner hedonistic 20 year old do? Get a facial and go dancing. A spontaneous road trip to visit an old friend for lunch? Or buy something completely frivolous and pretty just because.

No I’m not going to go pick up strange men in bars but I forget that I’m still a person inside this wife and mother’s body. And she may need to be repaid with more fun units on occasion. To remember how it was when I prioritized me before the small ones usurped my existence. To entertain the ridiculous whims of a hormonal 20 something and see what happens. To feel like, to know I’m a goddess and treat myself as much.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

We Are All Event Planners for Christmas

If you were told you’d been volunteered as an event planner and decorator for a royal ball, you’d laugh your butt off right? But regular people across the globe will do their best to plan and execute a special event all on their own this month mostly without professional help. And I’m darn proud of all of them for their upcoming efforts.

We pull it off, you and me, every year. That once a year special event for which we have to send out a hundred invitations, cater quantities of food, and decorate huge floral centerpieces for. We spend lots of time and/or money to gift everyone we know with the right present as if they’re all having a birthday at the same time.

Yes I mean Christmas.

It’s truly a miracle we all don’t lose our minds feeling overwhelmed and incompetent. But then the end comes and you sigh with relief that it’s over and think perhaps there’s a better way to execute it next year. Until the next year comes and you have the same game plan as always.We Are All Event Planners for Christmas on Shalavee.com

At my house, I make it all look so easy to accomplish. Deep down I do love it. But I also would love if anyone could do the majority of it so I could just make the wrapped presents pretty and decorate the house for multiple uninterrupted hours. The cleaning and card sending and even the cooking I could farm right out. Alas, last year, I accomplished the musts but fell short of the wannas. Holiday expectational debts I would soon forget.

But last year, the kids were treated to a Christmas just as they should with sweets for breakfast and Santa gifts and stockings brimming with stuff. They played with their stuff, bickered about sharing each other’s stuff, and played at a couple playgrounds. Oh and watched multiple movies. And then attended one more holiday get together to be showered more gifts from family.

Hoping you make sure to get your needs met during the siege of the holiday event season. That your gratitude for being surrounded with the ones you love surpasses the anxiety of cookie baking and clean toilets. I eventually always find relief and rest after the chaos finally, basking in the afterglow of a job well-done and look forward to having the brain room to get back to regular creativity.

Let the planning begin.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Choosing to Live in the House of Can

I had a profound and liberating thought this past weekend.

What if we knew and understood that every day we understood our ability to ground and anchor our thoughts. If we could lead ourselves with knowledge and intention through our days instead of reacting to fearful feelings that take over and derail us. Take myself out of autopilot. What a different life I’d lead.

Somehow we get our feelings tangled up with our facts. We can believe that how we are feeling, mainly fear, means there was something to be afraid of. But that truly isn’t the reality most of the time.Choosing to Live in the House of Can on Shalavee.com

With all of these thoughts that we have, the perception that we are powerless against our own feelings and thoughts means that we are powerless against ourselves??? Powerless against ourselves. And further we feel powerless against the news and our neighbors and anyone who crosses our path. That just seems a little crazy and exhausting to me.

So I am thinking that perhaps I need to create a mantra, a spiritual practice, every day to remind me that in every moment there’s an opportunity to choose how we want to think about our lives and our purpose for our days. And perhaps I won’t dwell so much in the house of Can’t as much but instead in the house of Can.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

A Poem Prayer for Ease

I chatter at it and

Batter at it and

still it is not fixed.

The ages old self-diatribe

I am not enough, I am not enough

 

I tell everyone, I’m OK, I’m fine

But in my mind there’s a line

And I’m on the wrong side.

 

The impossibility of moving on

Tethered to a ghost.

I trust no one, even myself

And so I remain lost

 

I crave the ease

The easy squeeze

that will fill my future full

Of gratitude and tenderness

of purposed hours filled.

 

I write at night

with all my sight

that I might

win this fight.

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Navigating the World’s Shoulds

So many shoulds coming at us daily. Other people’s recipes for our lives flooding our heads. The shoulds of womanhood, motherhood, parenthood, successful people, healthy people, and intelligent people. Of good daughters and good citizens and good Christians.

Oh you know what the shoulds sound like. I should have a clean house, a balanced diet, and spiritual practice. I should have polite children, a health insurance plan, and an IRA account. Everywhere I turn, there is some spoken, or unspoken rule that tells me what I should be, say, and know. And I find it exhausting.Navigating the World's Shoulds on Shalavee.com

As former small people, we have a hard time doing what we are told we should do, even when the should comes from ourselves. So there we are with our own laundry list of shoulds and then we get the world adding to it. We should be skinny, we should be saving, and we should be up on current events.

But in the end, what we truly think is what matters. Do we trust ourselves to say, “No thank you, I don’t need to worry about being skinnier with the holidays coming up.” Or, “No thank you, I don’t care to worry about decorating the outside of my house when I need to clean the kitchen floor today.” It’s always our choice to decide what matters to us.Navigating the World's Shoulds on Shalavee.com

We get to throw out the shoulds that do not serve us and listen hard to the coulds that are in or hearts. We really should go see that movie before it leaves the theater but we feel like staying home and watching a movie on our own couch instead. Or, we really should finish reading the library book due tomorrow but instead we feel like cooking brownies with our kids.

What shoulds are you holding on to that you may be able to let go of for the holiday season? If you must, schedule your number one in your calendar and then gift yourself with a schedule of coulds instead.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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