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Let It Be Well

As I write this, it is New Year’s Adam. More visiting with relatives scheduled, German potato to make, and getting presents packed and children readied. And yet, there is a feeling of “all is well” with me. I honestly can not remember the last time I felt so calm and happy knowing that all is as it should be.let it be well on Shalavee.com

I can remember, as if a bad dream, the general feeling of unease that I needed to keep watch, to fix, to guard against, and to keep up the busyness against the doom. The anxiety pervaded every day in every way. And my Present to myself this season was to release that. I chose to just see if that was possible and to my delight, it was. I fought the stigma of treating my anxiety with medicine and said yes to help.

My Christmas was peaceful. My days were worry free as I watched my family laugh and play games. I made marvelous food and listened to my son play music and watched my daughter dance. And I marveled at how much joy there was all around me that I was so privileged to be a part of.let it be well on Shalavee.com

I heard a song this morning that I’d like to share with you because it seemed to convey the perfection of the simplicity of letting go. Rayland Baxter’s Let it all go Man. Follow the link to listen in Spotify.

https://open.spotify.com/track/7Cbz1nHuX3eDskwV566MGB

Happy New Year to you dear readers. I’ll see you next year.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Minutia of Christmas

( From December 2014 and last year, I adore this look back ) The sound was a thwap and a roll, hollow plastic bouncing and traveling across the floor. My new Christmas tree balls were this moment’s entertainment. The “ball balls” were being extracted from their big clear box and thrown while I hurried to put my laundry away. Although that’s exactly why I bought those, I underestimated the little monkey’s reasoning skills.let the ball-a-thon begin on Shalavee.com

Every day is jam-packed with holiday fun.

Not unlike any other day in my life, I’ve been cramming the carrying out of Christmas details into the tiny time slots when I’m kid free. I got started early! Then stalled. And then the holiday started to close in on me and every other person in the free First world.

garland as a boa on shalavee.com

No one to impress but me, I knew I had time. But the tree had been lit and yet naked for a week. On the heels of the Christmas ball shot put incident, the unearthing of ribbon and tinsel garland set off a playing frenzy with Fiona dragging the garland around screaming “Mine, Mine” while the cat chased and pounced on the end. I’m not accustomed to the toddler mayhem yet. I like my holiday decorating to be quiet thinking time for me. Ha!garland and kitty games on Shalavee.com

Today was cookie making day as well. My son and husband conceived that cookies would be Eamon’s offering to the school class party. I apparently was no where around for this important strategy tete a tete because I am no cookie baker. And alas, Pilsbury’s Sugar cookies with embedded Christmas tree designs that you just cut and bake were all gone from the grocery store’s refrigerated section. So I talked myself up into helping Eamon make chocolate chip and sugar cookies. From scratch.

creaming the butter and sugar on shalavee.com

I hate baking because I’m a cook. Exact measurements? And a toddler who refused to eat her dinner and is now milling around your feet and now falling off the step stool knocking sprinkles everywhere? Call them disaster cookies. choc chip cookies on Shalavee.com

I was feeling generally hostile and irritated and pulled out just enough patience to have Eamon do most of the work. And yes, for her sake and mine, I sent Fiona out to Dada who was doing train garden setting up.

I enjoy my domesticity straight up. I am good with all the ten million details of Christmas but I just want to do them alone. No I don’t want to ever bake cookies with the kids again unless they are well-behaved young adults. No they won’t ever be decorating my Christmas tree unless they’ve proven to have tree decorating abilities. And yes, I will totally take advantage of their cute art project creations to make gifts for people at Christmas and cash in on their one absolute contribution. Creative mindless fun. The rest of Christmas is serious business and better left to the professionals. Christmas cookies from Shalavee.com

Merry Christmas to all you perfectionistic special event planners and decorators otherwise known as moms across the world. You’ve given enough. Take a seat and enjoy the event because it’ll be over in a blink.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

It’s My Wonderful Life

I suffered a pretty major stumble recently. An anxiety episode had me spiral out in my head to a place of grief and shame. And I allowed the decision to ask for medicinal help from my doctor to become very public. I did this because I knew that if my transparency and vulnerability could help someone else, I’d be paying forward the same from those who had shown me the permission too. Paying it forward is a beautiful part of my wonderful life.

The response from my online community was overwhelming. People showed up to offer their well wishes and their own coping mechanisms. They showed up to offer an ear if I needed one. And I watched as it made some people squirm rather hard at the thought that happy go lucky Shalagh wasn’t as put together as she seemed.It's My Wonderful Life on Shalavee.com

My wobbles didn’t embarrass me but showed me I’m just another human being trying to get through her days in a better way. And what I was gifted was to see how I have many angels in the form of people looking out for me. I may not have taken up many offers to talk but that doesn’t mean it didn’t mean the world to me that they were willing to be there for me. My life has so much more value than I often can see. It takes seeing me through the eyes of others to really drive the idea to my door. The final scene in It’s Wonderful Life became mine.

Privately, I have heard from people who say thank you for my honesty, for putting into words how things feel. Because it gives them permission to acknowledge and take care of themselves when I own my humanity. And that kind of paying it forward is free and freeing.

May you are be well and feel calm in the winter days to come. I know you are there and I hope you know I am here for you too.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Fits and Spurts of Holiday Happenings

Christmas gives me such clarity. Doing all the necessary Christmas tasks and I feel plugged in and purposed. It gives me a legitimate excuse to not dwell on all the career procrastination I’m doing. I just want to decorate and cook and entertain.

I notice though, that even in my holiday frenzy and event planning, I hit walls. I lost energy and inspiration while decorating the house the other day. And I wanted to feel bummed until I remembered that this has happened before.

We have only so much energy and inspiration to spend in one day. So it is wise to remember you can have permission to stop. You re allowed to be uninspired and return at a later time with renewed inspiration and sense of excitement. I give you permission if you can not give it to yourself.Fits and Spurts of Holiday Happenings on Shalavee.com

I came back with an idea to use the old brick paper behind my bar and it looks great. And although the tree wasn’t inspired, it’s up and decorated and sometimes, good enough has to be good enough. I have a little more time to poke at the decorations before we swing into full Nutcracker rehearsals and cooking cooking cooking. Women bear such a responsibility for the happiness of our families especially at the holidays. I hope we all find pockets of blessed moments within the madness.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

My Christmas Tree Fell Down

I was so proud I got my Christmas decorations up in enough time to enjoy them for two weeks before Christmas proper. But I plum forgot that I had intended to redesign my Christmas tree. So that when the decorations came out of the boxes, I was less than thrilled. “Oh those”my inner child said. And so I dutifully dressed the Christmas tree in last year’s already tired frocks and said,”Good Enough.”

I felt kinda growly about it but I know no one else will see what I see and isn’t most of this for everyone else anyway? So imagine how I felt when I came down this morning to find the tree laying on the floor, prostrate at the goddess of perfection’s feet.My Christmas Tree Fell Down on Shalavee.com

If there isn’t one phrase I keep hearing people offer me, it’s, “Be gentle with yourself“. And that’s what I channeled at that moment. I admittedly had this impulse to scrap the whole thing and start from scratch but I knew that wasn’t realistic. So I took care of all my other chores while the tree stood in timeout in the corner and then I got an eyehook and some twine and tethered that bad boy.

It is crunchier than death but all the ornaments have been put back on and there are wrapped presents underneath, a sure sign that Christmas and Santa are almost here. And the gift that I included for myself with those under the tree? Permission to begin again at any moment. And to lower those perfection expectations and “Go easier on myself”.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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