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My Empty Box Method

When I had to shut my business down (See the post about Bally Eden) and bring the contents of my shop home, all my stuff ended up in boxes piled to the ceiling of the garage. I advertised a yard sale and set to work sorting through my stuff. And what I realized yet again, was that your plan needs an empty box or space to sort into. When you have one foot nailed to the ground, it’s an sign that you may need to open up a new space to sort and move you and your thoughts into. So I cleared a corner and placed empty boxes there and began.

I am moving into a different space of possibilities. Like an empty box I put there in my brain so that I could move my thoughts on and sort them into. The shift was from impossibility to probability. And the room opened up. There’s more room to work with. There’s comfortable spots to have a seat with myself and intuit my next step.My Empty Box Method on Shalavee.com

When I have an auto-fearful thought, I challenge its validity, I write it out in my journal, I call a friend, and I engage in compassion and creativity hard to not let that thought become the thought/feeling/action triangle that shuts me down.

When I see that I am drowning in too many possibilities and too many options, I am taking time to sort through and put aside what I can’t do now. And question what I think I should do as opposed to what I want to do. And I’m packing this stuff away in boxes. Because sometimes just letting something sit for a while and returning to it later can provide enough perspective to know exactly what to do with it.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

I May Still Be a Runner Yet

A while back, I wrote a post titled, I’m No Longer a Runner. I bemoaned the fact that my apparent SI joint malformation was increasing in pain and that it may stop me cold from doing the one thing that had always been my happy exercise: running. Because when we are faced with chronic pain, we think we have to give up hope. We begin to compromise and make due and tell ourselves there are other ways we can be happy. Never an excuse to stop following the breadcrumbs to our wellness but it slows us down with the not knowing.

I am happy to say that I am running again. The steroid injections eventually helped, although it seemed like a long time for them to kick in. I can take Ibuprofen and go for a run/walk and my affected joint only aches. I can totally settle for that because these early Summer days are exquisite and all I want to do is go running and huff the heady lemony scent of magnolias in bloom.I may still be a runner yet on Shalavee.com

I think sometimes we get to worrying and apprehending the future, especially if it includes pain, and we try to come up with solutions that if we were to buy, would solve all the dissonance. If I didn’t want to be a runner, than not running would be fine. Except it isn’t, because in my heart of hearts, I am still a runner. I love the breeze and the smells. The rhythm and honesty of it. And I love that I trust myself to just start and stop and go where I want. Running is such a longstanding part of me that I hope I can keep doing it for a long time.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Being on Purple : The Good Girl Control

At my daughter’s school, the children’s behavior is monitored daily by a stoplight inspired grading system. If you’ve behaved yourself , you get on a green status. If you received a warning, its yellow. And a bad choice will get you to red status and probably get you sent to a principal’s waiting room, or maybe that’s just what I remember. But the most insipid of all is the purple. Because that represents better than good behavior and it’s all my daughter seems to want. To be the good girl.

When she’s at school, she thinks she needs to make sure that she is liked and fits in so no one votes her off the island. But the minute she’s off the bus and in my company, she let’s it all hang out mostly to our mutual detriment. Six-year-olds are immense people-pleasers and they are also control freaks. So she is trying to get a purple so hard everyday that I think it’s sending her over the edge when she doesn’t get it.Being on Purple : The Good Girl Control on Shalavee.com

So this morning, after another night and day of not so stellar choices and listening, we missed our bus for the first time ever. And as I drove her to school, I started to realize and discuss with her how striving for that purple might be messing with her. And that perhaps, she could just go ahead and be the sweet kind and helpful little gal that she always is and that when she was rewarded with the purple as she often seems to be especially on Fridays, she could be surprised and happy.

Teach her to reject likeability.

Her job is not to make herself likeable,

her job is to be her full self…”

–Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie–

The Good Girl programming is a little pervasive and creepy. That we as girls are taught to be mindful of others’ expectations and needs instead of rewarded for being kind people and taking care of ourselves in marvelous caring ways, is just society’s flaw. But let us as parents try to counteract these expectations by encouraging them to be proud of just who they are and not what they do. And to care for themselves with the same compassion and effort as they are asked to give to others.Being on Purple : The Good Girl Control on Shalavee.com

Purple is a beautiful color to earn. Especially if you can enjoy it just because it is the way life made you and your day based on the choices you made with integrity and joy.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

We Are Scared of Our Own Power to Choose

The most empowering and terrifying thought you can have is that it’s all up to you. You’re the master of your destiny, your own life chef, the navigator, the choice maker. And there’s just no other option. Sorry. Why are we so scared of our own power to choose?

I spoke with some people the other day about the shift in the value and the validity of religion in people’s lives. Many people are wandering away from what they were raised with but when they find a new place, they may not stay long because they do not find the element that tethers them. I think that we detested being told what to do and believe and yet it is ultimately what we are looking for in the absence of the permission to tell ourselves. Religion was a recipe and it’s hard to see ourselves as the re-creators of that.We Are Scared of Our Own Power to Choose on Shalavee.com

Choices, be they religious preference, family size, or the type of car we drive, are what we have the privilege of enjoying here in America. Yet I think that for as much as we would give our lives to have these choices, we are terrified to truly make them. The thought of varying our paths from those we are expected to follow. Or doing something that would cause us to be the center of uncomfortable attention in our community. These freak us out, make us panic, and cause us anxiety to consider.

We understand from a small age that to rock the conformity boat is to risk peril and being outcast. Better to conform. But in doing so, we can never trust ourselves again and are caught in a perpetual loop of anxiety and mistrust of ourselves and our world. The same world that we so revere our freedom in. Ironic.We Are Scared of Our Own Power to Choose on Shalavee.com

Each of us has the freedom to follow our own paths to what we consider freedom and happiness. So what holds us back? What do we choose automatically every day instead of making empowered changes? Being American says we can choose so why do we think that means to keep buying things? What does freedom mean to you? Now go grab a hunk of it. 

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Our Creative June Week One

A week into Our Creative June creativity challenge on Instagram and the excitement is all there. To feel and watch as people grab a hold of the idea of creativity as a gift they can give themselves daily is so satisfying. I know that for me, it always brings such a jolt to my esteem when I create. And then sharing it with my community gives me another happy zing.

Am delighted to say that after a week run, there are over 120 posts of creations on the #OurCreativeJune page and there are at least 25 participants including myself. I give you a smattering of some of the art that’s happening. These are all the other creators. I will follow up with a post of my own work soon.

 

I understand now that I am an Ambassador of Creativity. That having felt its immense healing powers in my life, there is every reason to share the wonder and joy of this gift with others. I don’t care if you don’t share what you creatively do with others publicly, just as long as you make something for you and feel the ease and comfort that it provides.

In the Instagram post that announced #OurCreativeJune, I wrote, “The antidote to fear is love. I believe creativity and the practice of being in touch with who you really are is the greatest act of self-love.”

My IG friend Kylie gave this back to me by saying,”I love the way Shalagh refers to the practice of being in touch with who you truly are as creative expression. We too often refer to creativity in terms of making something with paint or paper etc but it’s more than that. It’s authenticity, unique thought, honoring what makes you feel good, breaking a routine, reaching out to make a new connection, being yourself or looking at your life, a situation, a relationship with a fresh (and more helpful perspective).”

Where there is love of oneself and authenticity, there is peace and no anxiety. While engaged in creativity, you do not feel the anxiety or fear of a nuclear attack. All you feel is flow. And that is some powerful mojo.

I’m doing two creative pieces a day now. I am still engaged in the 100 Day Project with sketches of everyday objects. See the first post here. And the Icad project (index card a day) has me doing collage or whatever alternate medium I’m in the mood to use. Anyone can jump into our month at anytime with any sort of creativity. Writing is something I do a lot of but don’t acknowledge except it’s highly creative. Photography and Cooking too. So feel free to switch up mediums and just jump in occasionally. There aren’t any true rules but to indulge our creativity.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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