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Spring 2018 Soul Selfie Challenge Kicks Off

I subscribe to a few various blogs from people whom I admire and who inspire me. And recently, a fellow blogger and friend Heather, who pens the blog called Thrive in Midlife at Heather Serody.com , wrote how “healing begins the moment we shine a light on (these) shadowy corners and how they instantly become less scary”. That when we allow those places of fear and perhaps shame to be seen by others, suddenly someone else has the courage to claim their fears and shame.

How witnessing each other becomes permission to be human, that is the miracle of community. A gift that we give to ourselves by allowing us to be a part of a group. I am a living testament to how my online community healed parts of me that I needed to heal to raise up my self-esteem. Taking risks of vulnerability within these groups, I found out from total strangers that what I have to give is worthy of love.Spring Soul Selfie Challenge 2018 on Shalavee.com

I extend the same opportunity to anyone who would reach out to become a part of my world. My community and I are doing a one week Instagram challenge starting today, April 30th, called the #Soul_Selfie Challenge. Prompted by soulful words I chose, we’re posting a picture a day on Instagram and telling a little more about ourselves. I’ve hosted 4 previous Soul Selfie Challenges and they are always amazing to participate in.

Find me at ShalaghHogan on Instagram or Shalagh Hogan on Facebook, look for the announcement post, and jump in or watch what happens. Feel free to Direct Message me with any questions too.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

My Family Self or Myself : Who Do I Know Myself to Be ?

I am on a journey to understand myself. This involves both understanding who I thought I was based on the information I gathered as a child, and who I think Myself to be thus far as an adult. And knowing that I have the power to change what I think of me ensures I stay in process and don’t get stuck in my past. But for people who are used to being told who they are, considering being anyone different may be a daunting and inconceivable project. But it’s quite necessary if you are to decide on what makes you happy because truly no one else knows that but you.

Our upbringing and childhoods play a major role in who we define ourselves to be. And as our primary personality was formed within our households and families growing up, it may put us at internal odds to choose to know ourselves otherwise. We are afraid that if we choose to be someone other than who we perceived our families to want us to be, we may be insulting and discrediting our families. But nothing could be further from the truth.My Family Self or Myself : Who Do I Know Myself to Be ? on Shalavee.com

I completely understand devotion to those whom we love. And at the same time, I can not imagine that our families wouldn’t want us to rise and feel better about ourselves. That they did the best they could is a given. And quietly acknowledging the less than positive things that happened isn’t a bad thing. It just is life.

In other words, we are not dissing our families if we say we have low self-esteem as a result of our upbringing. That our parents did the best they could was a given. But we can not see what we can not see. If they couldn’t bring their own esteem up to a healthy place because of their own upbringings than they were not aware of what they were giving or not giving us.  It was still their best. Sometimes our best is just the best we could do at the time under the circumstances

To claim your lowered self-esteem and to re-parent yourself and trust yourself doesn’t have to cost you the disrespect of your family. It is not in judgement but in compassion that we rise beyond our roots. We give tribute to our pasts and our fight. So having compassion for our upbringings and ourselves will be the permission combination to then decide who we now want to be based on what we need in our lives to make us happy. How do we trust ourselves if we are not governing ourselves by our own rules and standards? We don’t.My Family Self or Myself : Who Do I Know Myself to Be ? on Shalavee.com

At some point, who we are and what we believe we need for ourselves and our families has to be created by us. And that will then be who we are and what we pass along, as functional or dysfunctional as it may be, it was chosen and not auto-set by what we thought we should do. We always have the power to choose our way even if it’s wrong in someone else’s eyes. We only trust ourselves when we do what we know in our hearts is true to us. And trusting ourselves is tantamount to our happiness. You know this too.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Triangle of Feelings, Thoughts, and Actions

My Mother’s maiden name is Head. My Grandpa used to say, “Wherever you are, you’re a Head.” How nice it would be to know with certainty that you are always ahead. I know that at any given moment, there’s a story I’m telling myself about where I am. Although I can’t necessarily argue with my actual physical placement, I decide if I’m ahead or behind in my conceptual placement. And what I think will trigger a feeling and an action and that’s how our life’s days go.

What if I choose the “I’m behind” story more often as a way to make myself feel badly? What if my progress report is a way of always choosing to see myself on the loosing side? Or I Judge myself and say I should have been so much farther along with my career or family planning or retirement investments than I am now. That’s the Thought. The Feeling that may follow is shame. And the Action may be to go eat a chocolate cake or down a bottle of vino. There is always a three part equation to these life patterns.The Triangle of Feelings, Thoughts, and Actions on Shalavee.com

Our perceptions acting in tandem with our repetitive behaviors govern our days. And our years. If we choose to perceive the worst of our life at any given moment, we may pave the way to the same trio of Feelings , Thoughts, and Actions, thus creating a perpetual hiccup of behavior patterns we may not even realize.

The trick to correcting a perpetually misplayed series of notes in music is to start at the end and keep replaying them backwards one note at a time. If you change the sequence in your brain, you disrupt the auto play and reprogram it. So if you choose to abstain from your given action at the end of your sucky life sentencing, you may find yourself in a different place. Don’t drink so much and see what happens. I did that.The Triangle of Feelings, Thoughts, and Actions on Shalavee.com

If you can stop yourself from interpreting the facts of your life into thoughts of failure and instead decide to maybe re-frame where you are and be compassionate, you may not have the same bad feelings. How do you show yourself compassion? You say I’m sorry I treated you that way, I’m sorry I told you that sad story about yourself, and I’m sorry that I have punished you because you are a good person and don’t deserve that.

The triangle of Feelings, Thoughts, and Actions does not continue to make sense if you change one of the sides. It’s up to us to decide where the change in our perception will happen. And to learn from our hearts what the truth really is. Because self-created mental hell moments are not made of truths. And only we have the power to disrupt the pattern of perpetually recreating these.

(Check out any of my pieces on Cognitive Distortions to find out the power you truly have at your disposal.)  

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Edit Your Story and Persist with Faith Like Cinderella

The story that is our life, up to a certain point, is written and told by others. We do not choose our parents or where we are born or the social status we are born into. Nor do we have control over who keeps us alive and what they teach us as littles. Our lives are a given in many ways and at least we can be grateful for our chance to exist. But then the story becomes ours to tell. 

Cinderella was loved and wanted when she was born. But bad things can happen to nice people. And the reverse is also true. We can be born into chaos and find a way to rise from the ashes. In my own personal experience, holding tightly to the resentment of my unlucky creation and existence doesn’t serve me. It keeps me routed to where I was and not able to move forward.Endure and Persist Like Cinderella on Shalavee.com

I would also say that a little adversity creates personal character. Cinderella is interesting because she somehow holds that love she had as a child and endures the cruelty with a faith for her future. We would expect her to want revenge for the ill-doings of the step-people but instead her inner-beauty is what gives her a chance to rise. Were she to hate them, she’d just be slumming with the haters instead of rising above as she does.

There aren’t any fairy godmothers per se, but I believe we can create our own hope and magic. And it starts with the basic understanding that we are all worthy of the effort and the hope. The only way I’ve moved on from my darkness is to maintain a blind faith that I was worth the work it has taken to get here. As if I was my daughter, an odd but profound thought.Endure and Persist Like Cinderella on Shalavee.com

As parents, and as women, we are teachers by example. Knowing that what I do is so much more powerful than what I say, I rise with as much power as I can to my life and the occasions I am creating to grow. Because deep down, even with devastating self-doubt and low self-esteem I suffered from, I still believed that this life was worth working on. And it is within my power to change my perceptions and choices and shift my life in directions of empowerment instead of self-destruction.

As women, I don’t think we will make any progress shifting our power back to ourselves until we acknowledge that we are much more than our circumstances and that our worth is a given worth fighting for. The rest of the process is figuring out how we rise as individuals to add our wealth of selves to the collective. What do we each need to learn about compassion and courage to continue our journeys to become who we authentically are? That is our real goal and the path that lights us on fire to our destinies.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

100 Day Project : First Two Weeks

It would seem I’m two weeks into my 100 Day Project. And it’s been a real joy to be participating. I have no regrets for joining other than that I wish I knew my medium better. But I think this project will be the teacher of that lesson undoubtedly. 100 Day Project : First Two Weeks on Shalavee.com

I began only with the idea of quick sketches in mind. But I quickly realized that the items available for quick sketches were also everyday objects. Mundanity is laying about the house all the time. And such a realization elevates the everyday object to something bigger. Our everyday existence is just as glamorous and glorious as any other day, it’s just how we see it.100 Day Project : First Two Weeks on Shalavee.com

Somehow I doubt that I will run out of everyday objects.

100 Day Project : First Two Weeks on Shalavee.com

Follow along with my progress on Instagram and then Facebook as my Instagram account dumps out into Facebook. Any requests for objects? Let me know. Also I’ve asked if there is any subjects that you know I/we should be talking about but aren’t in my last post.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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