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The Process and the Presence will Release You

There’s a lie we seem to like to tell ourselves, probably one that others sold us on once. That to be the best us, we need to have arrived somewhere. A set of circumstances needs to be in place, be that an amount of money or success or a certain weight. And we will be OK when this is set, and not until then. We’ve replaced process with destination.

I am reminded of my bedtime ritual as a kid. There were two alligators and a fox under my bed and only when I had on my clean underwear and then my PJs on was I safe from them. Except it was all a construct of my imagination. And when we’re all grown up, we are certain that those goals  are all adult and on the up and up. And so are the feelings of anxiety because we haven’t reached them. They are most certainly reliable indications that we need to work harder to achieve these things.The Process and the Presence will Release You on Shalavee.com

So like rats on a treadmill, we exhaust ourselves in the pursuit of enough. When there really is only one now that we can live while our fears play us for the fear junkies that we are.

We have forgotten the importance of process. That it is through finding out what we are and what we truly need to be complete (hint: not anything we can get at Wal-Mart) that we’ll find we are home with ourselves and no longer scrabbling for the unobtainable “enough”.The Process and the Presence will Release You on Shalavee.com

Allow for your process. In fact, thank the process when it messes your plans up. It’s trying to show you a better path. Ask yourself, what am I to learn from this detour and then learn it. As you collect your gleaned tidbits, your lessons, your insights, and your grief, you can be proud of you going forward. Because that messiness is exactly how you become a better you. The rinse and repeat of the daily anxiety dance will get you more of the same scared life. And the presence of mind to learn from yourself now will release you.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

I’m No Longer a Runner

 

When is a runner no longer a runner? When they no longer run. 30 years later…

 

I am not a runner. My body has declared war on itself and I’m held captive on my ship, waves of doubt crashing against the side, storms of serious uncertainty, and I’m huddled inside my body wondering “Am I old now? Is this where I no longer get to be me and start having to be old lady me?

I'm No Longer a Runner on Shalavee.com

Where last year I started thinking I was going to “fix it” this year, it’s now next year and it’s not fixed. Afraid of the pain, I am in limbo trying to decide who I am now and how I define myself now.

 

I assume this is the slippery slope of age. When you begin to fear your own body. Every twitch and tick, every ache and pain seem to be the harbinger of bad news to come. And if you haven’t been upkeeping yourself, visiting the primary Physician, exercising, or eating well, you can be even more terrified. You may be sure this was all preventable if only…

 

For me, I know it’s not a matter of my diet or exercising enough. It may be about exercising too much and probably genetics. I have all the specialists lined up, they’re just not helping fast enough. No one expects me to be 51 or in pain. They underestimate how far I’ve already come.I'm No Longer a Runner on Shalavee.com

 

There are all sorts of crazy cool treatments now to fix all sorts of things. And I’m headed for a few of them. I just thought I’d have the procedures and the pain behind me already. So it takes as long as it takes. Expectations are tough not to have. And I start again.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Faith In You Delivers You to You

I’ve visited the subject of Faith before and I felt the need to come and redefine it for myself today. Because the next phase of my life will rely on some wicked amounts of Faith driven work to deliver me through my goals. It’s OK to know and be terrified of what you need to do in life but there’s got to be some tricks to guiding you through the fear minefield of your future. And I believe Faith is one of them.

Now when I say faith, one may immediately go for the God version. And if you’ve got that, go for it. Believing in a divine love supporting you through the work it takes to fulfill your life’s purpose is awesome! But it’s also wayyyy OK if that Faith is one in yourself and your community’s support. You have worked something all your life that’s been working for you, why not believe it’ll keep working.

Faith means you believe that you are capable of many small steps that will lead you where you need to go. It means that the things you want in your life are worth achieving. It means the people who are rooting for you are very nearby to catch you if you fall. It means you are never alone when you love what you are doing. Faith In Your Future Will See You Through on Shalavee.com

I will offer again the acronym that allows a further understanding of how your imagination can lead you to a place you only dream of. Feel As If the Thing has Happened. You manifest everything in your life whether you realize it or not. And understanding this, you can harness that magic and imagine yourself arrived at the place you want. Imagine your pride and the joy of others. And there, in that feeling, is your faith.

Yes, your fear will intervene. It knows everything you know. Can use you against you. And yet, you can also choose the next step and the next step and the next step even as your fear clambers in your ear. Turn to your fear and kindly thank it for trying to keep you from your imminent death but you’ve got this for the next 24 hours and tell it to go take a coffee break. I guarantee you, months from now, you will know exactly what faith will get you. Everywhere.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Do You Use Scare Tactics or Self Care Tactics?

Yes, I can definitely see my wish to “succeed” in my life. I want to find a dream to pursue purposefully. I’ve had occasions where I really thought I knew what I wanted and knew what I needed to do to get there. But those were also the days when I didn’t realize that I was still trying to impress people and gain favor. Days when I secretly thought it was about popularity and competition. And I may have accomplished stuff but my why was wrong and my scare tactic methods of accomplishing my goals left me tired. I felt beaten up and bullied by myself.Do You Use Scare Tactics or Self Care Tactics? on Shalavee.com

Eventually I would discover that any goals that included impressing others and making them like me were not goals with integrity. My new rule became that I would only work towards goals and projects that made me happy and that if others were happy too, great. But what also came of this was a kindness and a patience I have never given myself before. I have always bullied myself and now I am committed to witnessing myself and giving myself enough compassion through the scary bits to move on. I have the permission and power to acknowledge me and move through.Do You Use Scare Tactics or Self Care Tactics? on Shalavee.com

At the very core of reaching any destination is the knowledge that I deserve the perceived reward. And to keep fuel in the “worthy” tanks, I am regularly bestowing the kindest care I can on myself. For me this looks like getting pedicures (which I am due up for), having alone time to think and write, and lovely lunches with the people who I care about. Do what you want to do verses what you have to do. Because honestly, unless you’re at work with a boss hanging over your shoulder, life should be fun and not a grueling rat race of perfection and wealth and achievement. You can choose to bully you or you can choose to be kind to you.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

We All Feel This Way

On two occasions recently, I was gifted these words :”We all feel this way.” And it struck me so profoundly that I thought I should share this in case you too were feeling a little like “no one will understand” and “I’m the only one”.

I know we all think that we’re the only ones. In fact, some say that addicts feel they are “terminally unique”. The entitlement to our “unique” pain fuels our self-hatred and our loneliness. It both defines us and outcasts us. And gives us cause to assuage our pain with our many pain reducing choices of addiction.

I told my friends that I didn’t always feel so certain about what I knew and wanted and that everyone should believe me when I often have doubts about where I’m standing and what I’m really doing. And my friend said,”We all feel that way.” And I believed her. My doubts are not a deficit but a human commonality and do not detract from the legitimacy of anything I say or believe. I know what I know and yet I don’t know it all. That’s OK.We All Feel This Way on Shalavee.com

So I was killing some time cruising through a thrift store. I put my hands on a very soft nice pair of pants that were in my size and a size I no longer wished I was in. I commented to the lady who took my money that I felt aggravated at buying this size (and that perhaps the only way to move forward is to accept where we are now). And the woman said, “We all feel that way.” Sadly, we women often bemoan our aging and plumping, our metabolic slowdown making us cushions for our grandchildren. Our humanity is our commonality.We All Feel This Way on Shalavee.com

I do believe that many of us feel the same about our bodies changing and there’s always a comfort in knowing we are not alone. I would never wish suffering on others but we might as well find comfort in knowing each other’s grief is similar And if we want to change where we are, we need to find the support or an account-a-bili-buddy for our new plan so that we can feel we have the power to hedge our own bets against mother nature slowly. And know we’re not alone in doing so.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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