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Is My Life Glass Full or Empty : Expectation Adjustment

My everyday, nay, my every moment is full of my expectation thoughts. I have expectations of how my day will play out. Then, I base my feelings of how my day and my life is going on how I perceive it is going as compared to how I expected it would go and then I pass a judgement. The End.

 

But perceptions are still subjective. I have a nasty habit of judging my glass to be half empty. Same fill line as half full but it’s the way I am used to seeing it. I think this way, if anything blindsided me with bad news or disappointment, I won’t have far to fall. I guard against joy.

 Is My Life Glass Full or Empty : Expectation Adjustment on Shalavee.com

But if this is all a habitual equation, a standard pair of sunglasses I’m so used to donning, I no longer notice them, then that means there’s a chance to backpedal and find another way to seeing my life. Because I get the distinct feeling that my life is waaaayyyy better than I’m giving it credit for. The habit to guard against disaster and seeing it all as in need of fixing, is robbing me of my every day every moment high.

 

What if I am already living the life I always wanted? What if in this constant looking beyond to the future and then disregarding my now is robbing me of the one life I get to enjoy? Because I think that’s exactly what is going on.Is My Life Glass Full or Empty : Expectation Adjustment on Shalavee.com

 

I get to see my healthy children grow up every day. I get to create words and pictures as often as I choose. I have a supportive as heck husband and several really nice supportive communities. My healthcare is paid for and I have a new roof on my house. I’d say I have a lot to count my glass as half full. So here’s to taking my fear glasses back and getting the prescription and tint changed. I’ll settle for 20/40 and rose-tinted sunglasses.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Self-Trust and The Need to Acknowledge Our Creativity

At some point, modern thought leaders had to listen to and value their own creativity to form their theories and opinions that were outside their culturally acceptable boxes. They had to weave what they knew with what they felt and go beyond the conformity edict from their schooling. And thus we had the Civil Rights movement, Jung’s counter theories to Freud’s, and Sandra Lee’s Semi-Homemade food revolution.

When we acknowledge how we feel about our world around us and share it, we find a comfort and a trust within ourselves and in this experience, we are rewarded with praise and wonder. This is a basic premise for our existence and the magic of creativity.Self-Trust and The Need to Acknowledge Our Creativity on Shalavee.com

Yet the outright fear I see in people’s faces when I mention the idea of allowing themselves to be creative is alarming. The general population is not supported in being true to themselves. Instead, they are told that if they do as they are told, stand in line, fit in, and prepare for the worse, they will live safe lives. Somehow safe became happy. And so we sell our individuality down the river for a promise of security.

But fitting in feels like crap. It’s in the company of the people you know you belong with that you feel most at home regardless of whether you are related to them. Your values are the same, you see each other as you truly are, and you call them community.Self-Trust and The Need to Acknowledge Our Creativity on Shalavee.com

The world isn’t a community and it does not support individuality. Sure, unique creative people are rewarded with movie and music contracts to entertain the masses but they still had to prove their creativity and uniqueness beforehand. They had to strike someone as profitable too. We ironically crave to see it and are equally terrified by it.

What happens when we express our true selves and become vulnerable? We fear that we will be rejected even outcast. It seems a sort of death. But creating has no bearing on our daily survival right? But then again, how can I ever trust people who like my false offering of myself? I mistrust those who do not know the true me and if I am not allowing for the true me to be seen, I will stay alone and suspicious of the world I long to belong to.Self-Trust and The Need to Acknowledge Our Creativity on Shalavee.com

We are pack animals. Being alone only serves to make us nuttier. Perfectionism is only about us and keeps us from connecting with others. And connecting with others is where we truly live. Where we can find hope is in our collective humanity when we hear others telling the same stories we could tell of fear and loneliness and our experience with human drama.

When we do not practice our own individuality, we feel disoriented and disconnected from ourselves and there is no reflection of us in the world. This causes us strife and anxiety. Our purpose here is unclear and we just end up surviving and grieving what we don’t understand is our birthright to give ourselves. Not allowing ourselves to be creative and instead to search for ourselves by shopping in a discount store leaves us with a feeling of crazed hopelessness.

So where are the psychological statistics that support this need to shift our educational practices? Where are the warnings that tell us we are not what we buy! Nowhere because they aren’t profitable. And people do as they know. So I guess the change is up to the people. In fact, it’s always been up to each of us.Self-Trust and The Need to Acknowledge Our Creativity on Shalavee.com

We can not possibly make any lasting differences in our world if we don’t prioritize our mental health first. And a society that considers anxieties and low self-esteem as a norm seems pretty powerless to make any changes. We need to start by trusting ourselves. If that takes a few anti-anxiety meds, group meetings, and some really ugly artwork, so be it.

Once you see what you can break free of, you can never truly see things the same way again. And your hope and self-trust spreads as you reach your hand out to help the next person see a little light in their dark world. Hope is a gift you give yourself and one you can eventually help to give your world. It is my hope that just one person today has a perspective shift on their need to create and thus find out who they are in their world and what they need to shift to support this change.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

How Their Fear of Creativity Surprised Me

I probably shouldn’t have been surprised but I was. What I saw on their faces was fear. Specifically fear of creativity. When I announced I was to host a creativity workshop and then wandered around to see if anyone was interested, there was fear in their faces … that I might want them to participate. Why are people afraid of their own creativity?

I know that I spent many many years miserably denying that I needed to indulge my creative outlets more intentionally and effectively. And I assume I was afraid but I can’t remember anything really but grief. As if I’d accepted that I had to deny this deep urge to be myself and that brought me grief.How their fear surprised me on Shalavee.com

At some point, many of us accepted the idea we are not allowed to “indulge” ourselves and our inner children, in ‘non-productive” activities. We are expected to act our age, be responsible, and lead our lives productively, safely. We came to an understanding that our heart indulgences were no-no’s and would distract us and keep us from our task to fend and survive.

What’s so weird about being told to not be creative is that creativity has been necessary for our daily livelihoods forever. We are makers. We make clothing, candles, food, blankets and even fires as a way of surviving. Pottery and gardens, tinctures and jewelry are all creative products found necessary in our lives as human beings. And all required an amount of creativity to pull off.

I think this brain hiccup is more a malfunction of the modern age. Of a production mentality and a righteousness obtained in working hard. The Puritan/Protestant work ethic is the root of capitalism. That being seen as hard-working gets you points with your God, parents, teachers, and scout leader. And playing in ways that make your inner child happy gets no praise from the outside world and therefore must be dangerous to that child’s survival.  How their fear surprised me on Shalavee.com

It wasn’t until my inner child had an outright tantrum that I realized I may want to pay attention to what was going on inside. And so I set about paying more concentrated and deliberate attention to what I thought I might need to calm down. Turns out it only took a little while of daily creativity to assure my inner child I had her back. I had wasted So much time but now I know that the fear looked like anger and grief for me but it was still fear of being my true self.  And only in being our true selves can we ever hope to be truly in touch with makes us happy.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Work and Waiting

As a new blogger, I knew I wanted to write and be read. And I wanted it all to happen right now. Happen naturally? Ha! Now, now, now with no waiting. And that tension of not believing I really could do it and wanting it now, served to deflate me instead of inspire me. My submissions were rejected, my site was not glamorous enough, and I just wasn’t narcissistic enough to perpetually fan the flames of fan-ship. Thankfully and eventually, I had enough sense to know this too would pass and I did keep writing because at least I knew practice would make me better. This blog was my living resume. And the constancy made me feel like I was still part of a process bigger than me. The work and the waiting on Shalavee.com

What I learned and continue to learn is that even in the quiet moments of just showing up, work is in fact being done. My regular contributions were proving I was reliable to myself and that I was resilient. I learned what I was truly in the long haul for my betterment. Sometimes this looks like connecting with others and myself and sometimes it looks like silence but it’s all hard work to re-see myself devoid of perfectionism. There’s a stubborn sustained single-mindedness that seems to show up and mirror my worth. It may even be slightly divine.The work and the waiting on Shalavee.com

When my doubt storms have finally quieted down, I have emerged victorious. I waited out my ego’s silliness and found myself still standing on the other side. Beautiful and flawed and human and in more awe of how hard life can be when we make it so. And knowing that sometimes, when we commit to taking our hands off of changing things and just letting them go instead, work will be done.

Our processes are personal to each of us. It takes as long as it takes. And we are so worth the wait.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

It’s Nice to be Nice to the Nice

I was almost surprised at myself when I heard me say “Good job, you did great” inside my head. Because how often do I give myself compliments? Can’t remember. But I recognized recently that if you are not appreciating your own efforts, how can you be truly appreciative of others’ efforts. Being nice to you and others is truly the least we can do.It's Nice to be Nice to the Nice on Shalavee.com

So, I started to notice others’ efforts. I started to tell people what I was impressed with when they did their jobs, especially when that job affected my life and well-being. I complimented the receptionist at the orthodontist on handling all our insurance submission paperwork so well. I complimented my chiropractor on how amazing it is that he understands the body so well to truly help us with our physical pain.

Giving out nice words and nice feelings in a day makes both your day and theirs a little better. And somehow, I think it opened me up to being mindful of the effort it takes others and myself to accomplish our own jobs. While I would play down my own artistic talent, I can appreciate the effort it takes to pull of the luncheon party I did last week. And the Halloween night festivities. And the daily running of the lives and needs in my household while also indulging myself in playing and self-care.It's Nice to be Nice to the Nice on Shalavee.com

As Frank Burns gushed guiltily over his commander’s cheerleader girlfriend, “It’s nice to be nice to the nice.” And the more happy karma you dump into the world, the more will come back to you. Respecting and thanking yourself for your efforts and your world will allow you to know that your life is worth living. And make a greater joyous impact on the world in the end. Ain’t nothing wrong with a life well-lived.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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