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The Incomplete, the Ignored, and the Undone

There is a lot of incomplete, ignored, and undone tasks hovering over my head. I come across a pile of stuff in my closet or attic or bookshelf and I think , I don’t have the time to deal with this. Then multiply this by 100 and I’m kinda a captive of all the uncompleted piles of stuff. A prisoner of my past, my intentions, and my stuff.

Years of living reactively, of not completely cleaning up after myself, and of not knowing what to value has led to a slight hoarding problem. I get it honest from my family. I began my reformation 10 years ago when I shut my shop down. My story is here. And as processes are just that, I still have much to let go of. The Incomplete, the ignored, and the undone on Shalavee.com

It’s never been about the stuff. The stuff represents who you think you are. Or who you used to think you were or who you think you might want to be. The stuff represents the tension and your confusion between these undecided upon possibilities. I have been very concertedly attempting to better decide on who I am. I’m a work in progress and process.

Meanwhile, I picked up Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up recently. I started in a little clearing some of my clothing and folding my shirts in my drawers so that you can see all of them in a row. Very satisfying and I completely love that your decision criteria to hold or let go of what you own depends on whether you love it. Quite simply, does it bring you happiness?

The theme that is emerging in my life is Happiness. That what doesn’t make you happy isn’t worth the space either in your head or on your shelf. If the memory that you have when you hold the object makes you happy then “heck yeah” you should hold on to it. But if it only brings you confusion or sadness, then letting it go is an act of kindness.The Incomplete, the ignored, and the undone on Shalavee.com

I know there’s a button making gizmo in a box at the top of my closet which we used to make pins and magnets with our picture on it as wedding favors 15 years ago. A button maker is a really cool thing to have but I have never needed it since. And the life-size cardboard stand up of Han Solo frozen in carbonite? That makes me enormously happy. It reminds me of a life changing moment in my life in the movie theater at the age of 14. And my kids can do whatever they want with it after I’m gone.

Sometimes, we have to allow for things to be undecided and incomplete until we have shifted and chosen something else. Until we know ourselves better. I know this and so I often leave stuff alone and undecided upon until this happens, until it becomes clear what I need to do with my opportunities. My tendency is to collect options but that can wear me out quickly. Too many options is as bad as none. So my intentions for the year are to move through my space, my possibilities, and my stuff with an awareness of my happiness, my benefits, and my abundance. Less to look at and deal with is less brain clutter too. And I need the space to make better choices on my happiness in other areas of my life.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Fiona’s Fourth Birthday Bash

Today was Fiona’s fourth birthday party and it was a complete success, by her standards and mine. Yes, she got enough Frozen themed party paraphernalia and stuff to satisfy all Frozen itches for a decade. And I got to bask in the knowledge that me and my daughter matter to all these lovely people.birthday flowers on Shalavee.comFiona's 4th party on Shalaee.com

Fiona and Emma at the party on Shalavee.com

birthday girls on shalavee.com

The reason I go to such efforts to decorate and to heap yummy food on my kitchen table is a tribute to the love that these people have for and show me and my family. My gratitude runs very deeply. I am almost speechless but then, not quite, right?Frozen Birthday party cake by Steve Konapelski on Shalaee.com

Fiona and Emma at the party on Shalavee.com

Fiona and Emma at the party on Shalavee.com

birthday flowers on Shalavee.com

Aunts and Uncles, real and respected, grandmothers, cousins, neighbors, friends, and kin came to celebrate my miraculous daughter’s birth four years ago. And in a puff and a whoosh, it’s all done. Only a dirty kitchen, drooping streamers, and falling balloons to tell the tale. But we’ll remember this fondly for many years. Another year passed and another successful party.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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They Do Not Have a Plan for You, You Do

There are several issues that I could holler from the rooftops about. The importance of these issues has become abundantly clear for me as I continue to write and speak about what I’m thinking and working on. One of these bones I’ll chew on til my dying day concerns the power we have but ignore to make out lives better.

I spent too many years giving my power away to anyone who wanted it. Nothing I lived seemed to be my choice. My bosses, my ex-boyfriends, and my ex-husband were all the masters of my destiny and my resulting misery. I was not. Until that moment when I realized that I had chosen them to be mean to myself. To treat me the way I felt about myself : badly. And after the grief of this realization subsided, I was truly free.They don't have ou do on Shalavee.coma plan, y

They” do not have a plan for you. You need to make a plan for you. Your plan can include whomever and whatever you’d like until you don’t like it anymore. But it will always be your plan, your choice. And the sooner you know that it’s all your journey to navigate, the sooner you get to choose the directions and the upgrades you want to make to your life’s vehicle for the journey. Your destination is always Now.

Everyone’s journey is completely different. It’s so unfair to compare them. And the work you do to mend yourself and reach your goals may not be linear. I have jumped around and studied and learned from anything and anyone that struck my fancy. I followed my intuition and my curiosity to heal my inner child. I spoke my most sincere fears to my therapist and she offered me what she had. I built and bridged gaps in my knowledge of myself until I began to know I had truly begun to rebuild my understanding of me and the life I wanted to be living instead.They don't have ou do on Shalavee.coma plan, you do on Shalavee.com

This is a puzzle that is so worth the effort. Just as your knowledge continues to grow and can never be taken from you, the work you invest in you is yours to benefit from as long as you live, and even longer if you’ve left your thoughts written down. Yes, there are some people who don’t want to be accountable for themselves but I think life is really boring without this work. I am thrilled to work on me and share and glean from other people in my community that spreads throughout the world.

The puzzle that is a happier life worth living is yours to put together. There is no right way. And you can’t find the instructions or the approval for it online. It is both freeing and terrifying to know this is now yours to conduct and compose. There are internal intangibles that you need to grab with faith from within. And then you just need to begin. I’ll be here if you need a cheerleader or a bit of inspiration.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Do You Think or Do You Feel : Trusting Your Intuition

I thought today about following my heart. I’ve listened more to myself when I have a day where there’s multiple choices which challenge me to listen honestly to my needs. For a long time, I have been led by what I think I should do and not what I really wanted to do. I suppose I had a problem trusting my inner child to tell me when I, acting as the adult, thought I knew better. Her wise little voice is my intuition. And there has been a conflict on whose voice I needed to be listening to.

While I was out recently running errands, I had a bunch of need to do’s and could do’s which were likely capped off by hunger. I was very wary of truly listening to myself and yet I knew it was necessary to allow my inner child and my wisdom to tell me what I really needed to have happen and in what order. I felt my doubt as I handed over the moment by moment decision-making to my inner gal to prioritize me a little more over the tasks.  But when I followed her suggestions, I developed a little more trust in myself. Do You Think or Do You Feel : Trusting Your Intuition on Shalavee.com

Does that seem weird? That I have never given myself that much credit or responsibility to make choices that I trust? Because so often my decisions have been made by the anxieties that my decisions and myself remained untrustworthy. The anxieties indicated that my decisions were being made for reasons outside myself or my truest happiness. For the approval of others perhaps? And so anxieties created decisions that were not aligned with my truest happiness and thus unreliable.

If I can’t trust that I’ll take care of me and my needs and making myself happy, I just can’t trust myself. Because ain’t nobody in this world, not my Mama or my husband even, that has the power to give me happiness. That starts inside me asking what will make me happiest today? And when I notice the little sparks of wonder about the world that I may like to explore, I am taking very special notice. They are the guideposts.Do You Think or Do You Feel : Trusting Your Intuition on Shalavee.com

I believe my Myers Briggs personality type was and still is an ENFP; Extroversion (equally Introversion)+ Intuition +Feeling + Perceiving. I’m described as “enthusiastic, imaginative, creative, warm, future-oriented, individualistic, insightful, caring, optimistic, possibility focused, open, novelty seeking, spontaneous, and playful.” These sound like a lot of them are my inner child’s strengths. It would behoove me to trust her and my intuition and let myself be guided to all the fun and inspiring projects in my future that I obviously need to look forward to. My inner adult can be a real Debbie downer apparently.

Funny because letting my intuition guide me was never something I thought I wasn’t doing. Now I’m going to be super mindful to stop and listen to any and all the thoughts that mention true happiness and trust. These are what I need to hear. My journal writing has given me this  insight and it was always free of charge. All this work so that I can trust I’m free and safe to be just me.


And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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